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Old 07-02-2007, 11:09 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bangkok, Thailand
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nollams HB User
Need Advice - Addicted

Hello - I need some advice.

Around 10 years ago I had a bad accident and was hospitalized for about a month. I was given pain meds and subsequently liked them a bit too much and got addicted.

I am now a functional addict. I live in Thailand and each day take 2 - 60 mg tabs of dicodeine. This is pure codeine with a little bit of gum in it that acts as a binder. I've been doing this for about 6 years straight now and took Tylenol 3's and 4's off and on for about 4 years before this. The Dicodeine is not available in North America that I know of and thus not many people know about it. It's codeine though and one tab is a little bit stronger than 1 1/2 Tylenol 4 tabs. I take 2-4 per day.

All I know is I'm functioning but the pills seems to be causing my mental and physical state to deteriorate. I'm depressed, have no motivation and feel like a loser who has no purpose. I used to be extremely fit and motivated with ample energy and now do very little. I make more than enough money for my family and myself to live comfortably, however we could be alot more secure and well-off if I had the motivation to work more. I don't....

The pills are readily available and fairly inexpensive - $45 for 100 pills. I get the Tylenol 3's even cheaper, $12.50 for a 100 and thus have no worries of running out as I get a couple hundred of each at a time. I'm getting to the point where I'm very worried and just don't know what to do.

I feel like a prisoner within myself and don't know what to do. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

 
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Old 07-03-2007, 04:47 AM   #2
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reachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB User
Re: Need Advice - Addicted

Hello Nollams

Welcome to the Land of Hope here in Cyberspace. Smiles. It is good that you are ready to tackle this issue.

I understand the lack of motivation to work more for your family. My hope is that the members on this board can help you find the motivation to do the very hard work it takes to detox and begin true recovery. It will be very hard work and for this, you must prepare yourself physically and emotionally... develop determinition.

Not a doctor here, but right off the bat, I can say that the cheaper Tylenols with codeine are contributing in a huge way to your physical decline. It is the Tylenol in them that is doing this. Taken on a regular basis in the amounts you are taking is, at the top of the list, destroying your liver. The opiate, as you already know, is destroying your mental and emotional well being. As well, it destroys the body's organs and systems. Depression of the breathing and circulatory system comes first to my mind. This is not a lecture, just a reminder of some of the huge consequences taking place in a body being deluged with opiates on a regular basis. I can say these things without hesitation because I have stood where you now stand. If the words are frighteneing, then I have served a purpose. Sometimes we need reality reminders to motivate us into action; action and not just a mulling over of "someday I better stop doing this."

Success in overcoming opiate use has, to my understanding, some gold premium standards the process... the first standard being a solid plan of attack that is followed out faithfully. Taper, cold turkey or another way? The next standard to me is a doctor involvement. I prefer a family practioner, but other types of doctors can be helpful. And the doctor must be one with whom we are totally, totally honest and willing to be so, or there is no point in employing the doctor in the plan.

The plan has to be one that we feel capable of executing faithfully. to develop the plan, start by reading until your eyes bug out, the many threads on this board and learn of the experiences of others who have started before you. Go back pages and pages; read and learn. Read also The Sample Home Detox, the very first thread on this board, to begin preparation for detox no matter what your plan may be.

Expect members here to answer questions with their own truths, expect support and encouragement, expect to get reamed out when a member feels it necessary for your success. Do not expect anyone to tell you what your plan should be because detox and recovery is not an exact science and every plan must be 'customized' for the individual. Take as much care and thought in developing your plan as you would in spending your entire bank account on a purchase. Take even more care and thought than that!

This can be done, Nollams. Many others have done it before you and you are equal to every other human on this board. Stay with us. fire away with the questions and thoughts.

With all best wishes and hope
reach

 
Old 07-03-2007, 06:45 AM   #3
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,362
skych HB Userskych HB User
Re: Need Advice - Addicted

Welcome Nollams....

I feel that Reach touched on everything!!!

I totally agree about getting the Doctor involved because it is .. like Reach pointed out..a good idea and you need to be totally honest with the Doc or they can't help.

The good thing is that you have recognized this as a problem and now you have openly discussed some of this stuff on this board so good for you.

Reach is right...you do need a plan and a bunch of determination...a bunch of courage because she is right there is no exact science to this detox or recovery.

My pain Management Doc told me those exact words..."This detox is not an exact science...everyone has a different body...we deal with the things as they come up"

I can assure that there is HOPE!!! We do not have to live our lives in our own little prisons.

Detoxing is hard..I have had to detox from Methamphetamines 2 times! Most recently I detoxed from the pain medicine Methadone. The difference with my detoxes is that I detoxed from the Methadone and I had not abused them.
I still had to go through all the physical withdawl symptoms.
It gets messy and I have to say that as I detoxed from the Methadone I could see how all the people that have detoxed offf of a pain med that had cravings while they were detoxing....I am taken back buy the success stories.

Thank God I did not crave that stuff. I hated the meds. They helped and now I do have pain but not enough to warrant any kind of prescription anything....

Anyway...Reach suggested some wonderful things.....go back and read some of the posts on here. So many have come before you and we are all here to support you as best we can.
Ask questions and seek out the answers...Ask your Doc. they are your friend but you gotta be honest honest honest throughout this whole deal.

Another thing that might help is a 12 step group. I think that they have AA in Thailand but I am not sure how popular it is. Check it out because there are resources out there for you. Counseling is a good thing to A behavioral Cognitive therapist Reach can explain that if you ask.
I go to a Licenced Clinical Social worker..she helps me to learn new ways of thinking and doing things and I get a bunch from that.
I will do my best to support you on your journey......being clean and sober is and easier softer way of living....once past the detox work on self to change behaviors and thinking needs some action taken but in the end the change is awesome....Chrissy

 
Old 07-03-2007, 08:17 AM   #4
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bangkok, Thailand
Posts: 2
nollams HB User
Re: Need Advice - Addicted

Quote:
Originally Posted by reachout View Post
Hello Nollams

Welcome to the Land of Hope here in Cyberspace. Smiles. It is good that you are ready to tackle this issue.

I understand the lack of motivation to work more for your family. My hope is that the members on this board can help you find the motivation to do the very hard work it takes to detox and begin true recovery. It will be very hard work and for this, you must prepare yourself physically and emotionally... develop determinition.

Not a doctor here, but right off the bat, I can say that the cheaper Tylenols with codeine are contributing in a huge way to your physical decline. It is the Tylenol in them that is doing this. Taken on a regular basis in the amounts you are taking is, at the top of the list, destroying your liver. The opiate, as you already know, is destroying your mental and emotional well being. As well, it destroys the body's organs and systems. Depression of the breathing and circulatory system comes first to my mind. This is not a lecture, just a reminder of some of the huge consequences taking place in a body being deluged with opiates on a regular basis. I can say these things without hesitation because I have stood where you now stand. If the words are frighteneing, then I have served a purpose. Sometimes we need reality reminders to motivate us into action; action and not just a mulling over of "someday I better stop doing this."

Success in overcoming opiate use has, to my understanding, some gold premium standards the process... the first standard being a solid plan of attack that is followed out faithfully. Taper, cold turkey or another way? The next standard to me is a doctor involvement. I prefer a family practioner, but other types of doctors can be helpful. And the doctor must be one with whom we are totally, totally honest and willing to be so, or there is no point in employing the doctor in the plan.

The plan has to be one that we feel capable of executing faithfully. to develop the plan, start by reading until your eyes bug out, the many threads on this board and learn of the experiences of others who have started before you. Go back pages and pages; read and learn. Read also The Sample Home Detox, the very first thread on this board, to begin preparation for detox no matter what your plan may be.

Expect members here to answer questions with their own truths, expect support and encouragement, expect to get reamed out when a member feels it necessary for your success. Do not expect anyone to tell you what your plan should be because detox and recovery is not an exact science and every plan must be 'customized' for the individual. Take as much care and thought in developing your plan as you would in spending your entire bank account on a purchase. Take even more care and thought than that!

This can be done, Nollams. Many others have done it before you and you are equal to every other human on this board. Stay with us. fire away with the questions and thoughts.

With all best wishes and hope
reach
Thank you for your response. I took a quick look at the Sample Detox Plan and will print it out and go over it in the morning when I'm a bit more awake.

I first started the pills when I had a serious ankle injury. I liked the Vicoden and managed to get a couple of refills. So I believe my personality is an addictive one for sure. Then I had a bad accident where I fell from about 40 feet and was in agony for a couple of years. My thinking was "I'd rather be addicted to pain meds than in the sort of pain I was feeling."

Fortunately I rarely take the Tylenol with Codeine. I say fortunately because of the effects of the paracetamol on my liver.

I've gave a few half-hearted tries in the past and once stopped for close to a month when I was hospitalized. A few days after I got out I took a few pills and was on my way again.

As I've been taking these for many years, even though I've never really escalated the dosages, I think I'll probably taper for 4-6 weeks and then go cold turkey. I've got an appointment with a doctor - the doctor who does my physicals and will discuss it with him. I told him the last time I had a check up but lied and told him I only take them when I'm in pain.

Anyhow - thanks for the kind words. I'll let you all know how I do...

 
Old 07-03-2007, 08:47 AM   #5
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Re: Need Advice - Addicted

Hey Nollams

Really glad you have found a receptive spot in your thinking for the thoughts shared with you by board members thus far. It is great to read that a plan is already in the beginning stages of formiong. Good for you!

Just a quick share here... when I said I tapered, I mean truly tapered! Slow.. cut the doses in small portions and did it over months, not weeks. I started from a base of about ten .5 mgs hydrcodone tabs a day. When I finished that taper, I took a bit of a break and then took some months to taper off Xanax, a tranquilizer. My own opinion is is you are going to taper, then taper; if you are going to do cold turkey, then do cold turkey. Of course, it is going to be the plan you and your doctor devise and that is as it should be. My bit of a warning here comes from the great sharings I have had with other board members. Especially in my mind is Coder, a poster who could make heads spin with his story! Coder, Coder, we need you here! Come on and step up to the plate for our new friend here please and slap a little dissertation on following through with a plan one way or the other!

Hang in with faith, Nollams. because you can do this.

reach

 
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