3 days no xanax - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

ILiveForMyKIDS · 07-16-2007, 06:16 PM

I haven't posted in a while. I had some problems a while ago and was on a lot of medication. Lamictal, prozac, trazadone, xanax and a few others. A few months ago I started my divorce and life was really hard i started abusing the xanax and got ahold of pain pills as well; vicodin and percocets. I was taking a lot more xanax then i should of. at least double maybe 2-4 mg a day. Well something good happened. I lost my health insurance and decided. Which meant my prescriptions nor my dr would be covered and I really couldn't afford to pay out of pocket.

I decided to get clean.
Bad idea and good idea. I was sick of being on all this medication. I stoped abusing the xanax and took as little as possible for a few days. I stoped the lamictal almost cold turkey and a week on the prozac. Well - I didn't want to drag this on forerver. I knew it would be hell, and it was. I have gone successsfully the past three days with absolutely no meds. Nothing.

Today is the first day i felt good. I felt like myself. Messed up feeling considered I've been so sedated by the dr for over a year and a half due to a cheating spouse and my inablity to heal on my own..........

I saw my children. Smiled. Breathed (Easily!) all today. I told someone close to me about what I had been up to. I feel bad because I think he judged me more then i wanted to be judged but I want someone to bother me about it and i know he will.

Just weird to be myself. It was a horrible week. Withdrawls. Pretty stupid to drop that fast but I was too depressed and tired of taking meds. I used to not even take tylenlol for a head ache and I want to be like that again.

I've been crying ; i think facing the facts of reality; but it actually feels good to cry. to have emotions. to feel. I mean to actually feel.

Thanks for anyone who has spent the time reading this.

jules3 · 07-16-2007, 06:54 PM

Im glad you got thru 3 days w/o xanax. what you did was pretty scary. the risk of having seizures from benzo withdrawel is so high..im glad you are ok..

reachout · 07-16-2007, 06:59 PM

Hi

I do remember your postings from a while back as well as your screenname! Welcome back. Smiles.

Well, I do not know what to think of your withdrawal method from the Xanax! It was awfully fast to say the least and I am glad you did not run into complications coming off of it so quickly! However, it is a blessing that you are off of it.

The crying is normal part of withdrawal from opiates and benzos. There is a depression that comes as our bodies struggle to regain balance. Roll with it. exercise is a HUGE key to combating the feelings and tears. Crying is a wonderful release valve built into the human body, but an overabundance of it is not healthy. You will know if it crosses a line.

Please stay with the Board this time! Detox and withdrawal is tough and we all need support with it. Recovery is the long term goal, though, and perhaps some help with a plan for recovery would be useful for you. Awww, not perhaps, the truth is that a recovery plan is vitally needed to stay detoxed!

Looking forward to more sharing
reach

ILiveForMyKIDS · 07-16-2007, 07:19 PM

Thanks for the support. Um yeah. It was a little to aggressive of a taper / stop. I'm a strong person. I want to go back to school and I need my brain back.

i was having a tough time breathing with. I went out of town and they didn't know i was on any meds so we stayed busy the past few days and the go go go go go really helped me out tremendously. If i was to have to deal with that on a min to min basis there is no way.

I'm surpised i didn't seize, lol. I was careful not to drive. Siezures aren't that bad; long as i didn't get hurt and then i would of weaned off the xanax better.

I've had so much depression and self misery / pitty and I'm sick of it. Time for me to be me. Good or bad. I feel so free. The ablity to think to the quality that I can is without words.

Crying: don't know............i don't like to cry...it is a good release....but i agree not 2 much. I'm not giving myself pitty. No wah wah's.

Down to business.

Thank You guys.

I will stay on this board for a while. I hope I don't decide I need the meds again.

I remember those days so much not ever taking anything but a multivitamin and I miss that feeling so much.

Or someone asks what meds you on and your like none.

Now they ask and I have a million if i really sit and think about it; plus all the ones that weren't prescribed: ativan, versed, more xanax, klonopin.............i would just hide the truth

no more hiding.

jules3 · 07-16-2007, 08:26 PM

Wow, seizures arent that bad...well ,i guess im just looking at it from a moms point of view..watching my 20 yr old drop to his knees, foam from his mouth,and try to hold his head while he convulses,watch him rip up his hands as he falls to the concrete and try to hold up all his 220lbs so he doesnt bang his head..Go with him in an ambulance and watch him come out of it and not remembering his name..thats pretty dam bad in my opinion..maybe i should just shut my mouth

..anyway, i see that you have kids, i have 3 and dont mean to be hard on you..i truley wish you luck and hope that you stay clean so you can watch them grow up..So, from the bottom of my heart i say Good Luck.