OK here is my story. I am addicted to hydrocodne, have been for years. I have just had it. I want off and have tried tapers it don't work for me. I took my last dose and I don't want anymore. Well I want it but I want clean more.Pleas any help advice support will be much appreciated. I know I will have withdrawl..The part that bothers me the most about that is the restless leg and sleeplessness. Any suggestion on anything to help with that. I have a small scrip for xanax how can I use this to help? Please Please any help i am very scared.
Just realized I proudly should give this info too..I have a 12 to 15 pill a day habit of Norco 10. They are prescribed for chronic pain with my back and the pain is real..I have never really done anything illegal to get them I just have 2 docs writing scrips. How bad will this withdrawal be and how long will it last?
Well. Not sure that a Saturday night and an impulse is the best way to handle this issue, but we start when we start. Smiles.
I don't think it is going to be horrible if you are still going to be taking the Norco. Is this the plan? Is there a plan? Addiction is a complicated issue and we need the preparation of a plan not only to detox, but to stay detoxed. The first part of the plan without the second part is usually a plan for disaster.
I don't want you to try and do this scared out of your wits. It is better to attack the issue with calmness and foresight and knowledge. All of us here want, as you do, to see you successfully get off un-needed narcotics and change the addictive thinking and behaviour. Having two doctors write the same prescription for the norco is deceptive and is a clear cut dispaly of addictive behaviour. It is addictive thinking to soothe the conscience by thinking that if something is not illegal, it is okay.
A good place to start right now would be to read the "Sample Home Detox," the very first thread on this board. It will help with the physical withdrawal a great deal. Then perhaps you should busy yourself and read lots and lots of threds on this board and get a handle on what you are really dealing with in coming off the hydrocodone.
Come back and share as I am sure questions will araise as you begin to learn.
I read one thing in your post that really stuck out at me.....
I took my last dose and I don't want anymore. Well I want it but I want clean more.
That is a powerful statement...I want clean more.
I like the all the things Reach said as usual. Having a plan set in place is an important part of this deal
The fact that you said that you want to be clean more than you want to take a pill is a good thing. It will be something to look back at and remember when things are tough.
We can be in such denial about the things that we do to get drugs of anykind and use them. We as addicts are so very good at justifying our behavior. And yes I am refering to the fact that you were getting the scripts ffom 2 different doctors.
There is HOPE for the addict who stick with it and stays with their plan. There is much work to be done on ourselves after detoxing. Changes in thinking and in our actions and attitudes.
I am sure that you will find this board very helpful to you, but at some poit it may be a good Idea to get in volved with other clean and sober people so that you have real live support a phone call away.
Hope to see you continue topost here and read some of the stories on this forum......ask lots of questions and get to know us......Chrissy
Well day 3 and I still think I may die..I have to confess just for my conscience I slipped to day and took 2 norcos. I just couldn't take it anymore. Had company coming and they do not know anything about all this I could not be a mess around them. Now I feel so guilty and like a failure. So my question now is will the withdrawal start over?? The pills only helped a little only enough to get a shower and smile a bit actually. I wonder if I will ever be able to do this at all. Will withdrawal from the hydro cause seizures??? I just don't know if I can do this. I almost wish A big hand would come down and tough me and take it all away of I could step into a time machine and go back years and never touch a pill. Sorry if none of this makes any sense I think I an really just rambling, I just want to go begging to any and everyone please help me.
Please do not beat your self up over this. It really serves no purpose to re-live the feelings that you described "failure, guilt"
I am wondering if you should contact your doc and let them know that you are trying to detox.
There are medicines that can help with some of the detox symptoms.
I did a very long taper from Methadone and in the end It was horrible, but it was all done with the guidence of my PM doc. I also had a nurse case manager that I could call. It was all from workers comp. They had to prescribe other meds to help me through the taper and detox. In the end I was very sick and I could not eat or drink fluids so I had to go to the ER.
You do not have to go through this alone becasue the doc can help and we will allbe here for you.
Maybe a better plan of action would be a good thing to put into place.
One that allows you the time that you need with no visitors and all that.
I did not abuse the pain meds but that did not mean that I would not physically detox.
I strongly suggest that you call and get honest with your doc.
Try not to beat yourself up any more and move forward.
I am sure that some others will post here and help out with there input.
Hang in there...Chrissy
I just don't know if I can do this. I almost wish A big hand would come down and tough me and take it all away of I could step into a time machine and go back years and never touch a pill. Sorry if none of this makes any sense I think I an really just rambling, I just want to go begging to any and everyone please help me.
First of all - You CAN do this!! I know it sucks, hon, believe me I know. But make yourself remember that this is temporary. Several days of w/d's to get the rest of your life back. I know it feels so overwhelming right now, but hang in there. You've made it this far, HOLD ON!!
Secondly - A big hand has come down and touched you. Reach back and grab his hand. You'll need it.
C/T is tough, it really is, but either do it or don't and find another way to get clean (taper, etc). I know you were hurting when you popped th 2 pills today. I wound up doing the same thing when I went off the pills, and the only thing I found that would keep me from taking them was to not have them. Get them out of your reach. Flush them, drown them, burn them, whatever you have to do to get away from those evil little ba$t@rds. Get mad, and fight. I know you have no energy, you're emotional, tired, every muscle hurts and you literally think death would be much better. Sweetie, given that scenario, a lot of ppl would've caved and taken a couple IF they were around.
Reach and Chrissy mentioned planning several times, and I'm suggesting it to you as well. Making this decision to clean up will be one of the best ones you've ever made. Don't stop now. You've made it this far. But you have to plan or you will find yourself where you were today - taking a couple of Norco's. I am the relapse queen, and I can tell you that during my first few stabs at this sobriety thing, my lack of planning sucked. Get with your doc, or a local NA group. Do you have anyone in real life that you've told? These boards are great, but sometimes just having a hug can do more than any words can. I'm sending one your way through cyber-space right now. Hang in there. Making this decision and taking these steps are very brave things. You are getting better, and you'll get better everyday without these pills.
Hello Ready,OK to answer your questions...No I have not told anyone in real life. My hubby knows I take the pills but not the extent of it and not that I have them from 2 docs he thinks I do right and use them as I should. As far as family and friends I really have none. I just recently moved 300 miles away from all mu family and have not made and real friends yet. The only ppl I have here are hubby's family and I CAN NOT go to them. I am also scared to talk to doc about it because regardless of HEPPA laws. In a small town like this ppl talk (nurses staff that sort of ppl) and I just can not let this get out.With my hubby's profession (law enforcement) it could be devastating for us. I did get rid of the pills I still had around the house. That in its self scares me alot because I do have real pain.I have brittle bone and have had several back surgery's. I am scared of my pain levels without the pills but I can not take them like I am supposed to. So I guess we'll see how all this is going to go. I know I still feel like warmed over hell and wish I would have never even seen a pill. The restless leg thing is the worst is there anything to help with that???
Hi mentalvdt - welcome to the board - it's a great place to come for help. I was where you are in mid April of this year. I was taking up to 25 vicodin 10/500 per day and was so over it. I too was Dr. shopping and the pills were no longer "helping" me. I had hit the wall so to speak. I had tried tapering, but realize now that I was trying to go down too much too fast. It ultimately failed because I felt so bad. I realize now, after coming to this board and learning (especially from Reach) that I went about the tapering all wrong. In mid April I quit ct at home after deciding that, for many reasons, I could not go to a detox facility. Everyone is different, but, for me, it has been a really long hard road - including a recent suicide attempt. The detox brought on severe anxiety and depression and I cannot take anti-depressants because I am super succeptable to negative side effects. (I strongly believe an anti-d brought on the suicidal thoughts and attempt). But I am here and I hope that my sharing might help you in some way.
Firstly, have you considered tapering? Or as Chrissy suggested Methadone or Suboxone??? I did not know about the drug assisted detox at that time so it wasn't an option for me, although I am considering it now possibly. (I recently started taking very small amounts of vicodin again just to take the edge off the withdrawals and rls and to give me some evergy - but that's another story and hopefully won't go on for long).
Anyway........I would suggest researching detox as much as possible. It's not too late. And definitely read the self detox post at the top of this board. Stock up on the items listed there - you will need them and they really do help.
For the rls - try hot baths and heating pads work well too - also keeping active and leg exercises. For me this has been one of the biggest problems. It didn't start for me until about 2 months into it, which I thought was strange, but, like I said - everyone's different.
I don't know how much you can share with your husband, but real life support is essential. I don't have much of it myself, but the support I do have I really need and, yeah, the hugs are soooooo helpful!!!! And love yourself!!! Try not to be too hard on yourself, I know it's easier said than done - but, be hard enough to get through this - just try not to let the guilt get to ya.
Let us know how you're doing and try to stay strong!!!! This will probably be one of, if not the most difficult things you have or ever will go thru - but you can do it. Everyone here is rooting for you!!!!!!!
Sun is right when she talks of tapering. Actually I was taking the Methadone because I no longer recieved relief from any other pain meds. Percs or Vic's. I have never abused any of the pain meds so the only thing that I did not really have when I detoxed from the methadone is a craving for it. I absolutley hated the meds and had no feelings of wanting to take them to settle myself down duriing my detox.
My PM doc was very inderstanding and did prescribe other meds to help me taper, clonidine wich is actually a blood pressure medication and baclofen which is an anti-spasmodic.
Near the end of about a 6 week or more taper I could no longer frag it out any more and asked to CT from the 5 mg's instead of going from the 5mg's to 2.5 for ten days and then 1/2 that dosage for another 10 days.
I eventually had to have some valium because I could not control by body's movements and looked like a freak. I went to the ER because I could no longer hold down fluids or any of the helper meds. I was mostly flu like sick to my stomach and I had real jerky arm and body movements.
I am not trying to scare you or anything!! I actually wanted off the meds because how could I tell if I had pain unless I got off the meds.
Well I have pain but not that bad anymore. Methadone is serious business to come off of. I would never take it unless I had a real good reason.
There is much HOPE on this board of others who have come before you!!! Many may respond to this thread you started or you could start a new one asking for people to share there experienc strength and hope woth you.
Please call your doc.....I know it is hard but they can help you....
Let us know how your doing..
How are you doing? I didn't have access to a PC today, and wondered about you several times. The restless legs, like the others said, hot baths and heating pads. I also had some hyland's restless leg pills. They are homeopathic and these had quinine in them, but I've heard that they no longer sell stuff with it in there, and the ones without it don't work.
Are you getting plenty of fluids?
Oh girl, I know about the small town thing. I actually went in for counseling when I decided to quit. The nurse there was the daughter of someone I worked with. I didn't know that at the time, but soon found it out. The lady that worked with me just all of a sudden didn't want anything to do with me anymore. So, yes, I'm quit aware of the small town thing. My hubby's profession is teaching (he teaches math and criminal justice), so we couldn't have a bad reflection either.
How do you think your husband would react? I know it is hard to make the decision to tell them, but they can be such a source of strength when you need it the most. He may be upset and angry, but those will pass and his want to make sure you're OK will take over. Seriously, you need to talk to someone in your life. Moving away from family is very stressful, and sometimes just downright depressing.
How long have you been seeing this Dr.? You said you had recently moved, so I was wondering if you're going back to see the dr. from where you used to live? Could you go to another dr outside of the town and talk to him/her about your problem?
I hope you're doing better today. Please, keep us all updated.
According to the pain specialist I work for, withdrawal from hydrocodone is approx 2-3 weeks depending on how long you have been on these drugs, your weight and height, and your chemical make-up. Many many patients of his are going through what you are and are doing it with suboxone. The best way to describe this for addicts is when a person goes off cold turkey, it is like falling off a cliff, and with suboxone, the withdrawal is like falling off a much shorter clliff without intense withdrawal. If you are serious about getting off Norco, talk to a pain specialist and or Neurologist.
For me the worst of it (from vics) was the first 2 months. I think for many severity and duration of withdrawals depends upon the length of time used, d.o.c. and daily amount used. AND each individual's chemical makeup. As many report here the anxiety, depression and lack of cognitive thinking can last for several months to a year or more. It just depends. Some people report that they feel great within a few days - it just veries widely. I wish I knew how long it takes to feel back to onesself before drug use. The best thing you can do for yourself is be prepared ahead of time. Once you get through the worst of it try to keep busy. I know for myself, the time just seemed to click by - those were some of the worst, longest days of my life. I can't stand to be home just laying around anymore. I have to keep busy doing something. It really does help. Even if I feel like crap I still try to push myself - if there's a day that I absolutely can't, I don't beat myself up over it. It's just part of it, even though it sux.
I want to thank everyone for you support. I have very much appreciated it. I am at day 9 and still not feeling real well but think I am stabilizing. As far as anyone in real life knows I have had the worst "flu" every. The restless legs is still kicking my butt and I wish it would stop. I think I would feel so much better if I could just sleep and really sleep. I guess I still have a long road ahead my doc was hydrocodone and I was taking about 12 to 15 of the 10's aday for about 6 years. I have still slipped only the once (because I got rid of the rest I am sure). It is coming time to refill and the temptation in really bad cause those little devils are all I think about . When will that part go away the compulsive wanting and thinking about them? OK just wanted to update and let you all know I am still alive, granted there has been time I have prayed for death thinking I was going to die anyway. OK well thanks again.
Congratulations on day 9!!! Hang in there and take good care of yourself - really........you deserve that. You say that you've felt like dying - I did too and attempted it, but PLEASE, PLEASE talk to someone - anyone, before you go there. I know exactly what you are speaking of and it can be overwhelming, but even if you call a suicide hotline it is something I would urge you to do before harming yourself. I wish I could turn back the closk and do things differently. I am so fortunate to be here and I NEED and WANT to be here for my daughters. I feel so guilty for putting them through that. I believe they have forgiven me, but it has changed our lives. Please know that this will pass and you will begin to feel better. Don't give up!!!!!!
Are you able to work right now? I would still recommend going to the self detox plan at the top of this board and try some of the supplements that are recommended. Fish oil, magnesium, green tea extract, Ginko........I really do believe that they help.
I wish I could offer more, my heart feels for you as I know what you are going through. Be strong and remember you are human. We are here for you!