Wow....... addiction is a real journey!!!
I have been on and off this board for a very long time...thinking 5 years or more....been a while... my first reason for being here was an opiate addiction. However, I have found out since that I am just an addict...if it makes the pain go away, I want it in my body. I probably spent 3 years or more in denial. Found myself hooked on oxys, in excess of 300 mgs a day. Somehow I beat that, kind of....I got through the w/d thanks to the people on this board. But all I really did was replace it with alcohol.... I have "basically" been clean from my pill addiction for over 2 years now, but in the meantime have become absolutely aware that I am also an alcoholic... I had people on this board highly suggest to me to go to AA...resentent as I wass didn't for a long time....but a bottom took me there....I was clean and sober for almost 9 months.(truth be told..... with a couple of slips).....but SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy over all...... In the process of my addiction/alcoholism I gave away my marriage and the love of my son....during my sobriety I got it all back, and then some.....weird isnt it...I am still not happy. I am feeling depressed again....my "ex" husband doesn't really understand depression...thinks I should just be able to "snap" out of it.... when I was in AA...I was a sponsor....had a sponsor.....basically sold my soul....some of my OCD coming out I am sure...crazy.....today I am back with my husband....my son thinks I am doing great....parents think I am doing great....but I am not..... I know the answer I need to go back to meetings, and talk to people on this board...so this is my first step.... back here.... How good it feels to just vent!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for listening!!!!