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Old 10-04-2007, 08:16 AM   #1
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Wireman25 HB User
trying to stay clean

Hi everyone thank you for listening i have been an opiate addict for over 20 years worked everyday and raised two kids finally have kicked them for about one month still recoverying . would like to talk . thanks

all the best

 
Old 10-04-2007, 10:20 AM   #2
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tapergal43 HB User
Re: trying to stay clean

Welcome!

Congrats! You have done an incredible job if after 20 years you were able to do this. It gives me hope!

I have been in pain management for about 3 years and followed everything to a T til this last year when I let emotional issues control my usage instead of my brain.

I applaud you for raising your kids and working and finding the courage to do this.

Can you tell me a bit more about your story..............what you used, how much, did you taper or ct? Sorry, but the details are what keeps us all strong!

Best wishes and again, welcome!

 
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Old 10-04-2007, 12:59 PM   #3
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Wireman25 HB User
Re: trying to stay clean

taper

thanks for your note i my drug of choice was percocet , it started i was about 23 years old (now 44) i has a knee surgery and started to take them and before i knew it i was taking ten to fifteen a day. when i could not get them i would subsitute vicodin. i have my own busniess and money was not a problem however i got divorced and had two kids a job so i used which made me like superman until you start the cycle when three or four dont give you that feeling so you start to chase it. thats when the trouble starts. i am the oldest out of five children and was always the pillar or the rock everyone came to so i hide my addicition felt sad , felt ashamed guilty i had all the feelings. However i never let anyone in. i have since married a wonderful woman my children are grown up and i got sick and tired of being sick and tired. We should never be ashamed of who we are . we are not less than anyone else because we made a bad choice . I am really begining to feel again and i want you all to know you can do this. remember it is easy to destroy and very hard to creat each day i try to do one act of random kindness for someone a stranger a coworker someone that really needs it. i figure with all the money i wasted over the years . thanks wireman

 
Old 10-04-2007, 07:00 PM   #4
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granny0 HB User
Re: trying to stay clean

Dear Wireman, my drug of choice is hydrocodone although I liked the percocet alot too, just wasn't as easy to get. My addiction started 2 yrs ago after surgery. I've been without for 5 weeks, never took more than 2, sometimes 4 a day. I've posted alot so I'll keep this short. I am really struggling with this addiction..although I am on cymbalta now, I am still pretty depressed and craving they hydro something horrible. I'm a "talker" so anytime you feel the need, please post to me. I'm hangin in there with you.
JB

 
Old 10-05-2007, 05:13 AM   #5
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Wireman25 HB User
Re: trying to stay clean

well Granny
thank you for your reply, yes opiates are the hardest thing to quit i have found that staying active and keeping my mind busy is the best for me. i really dont have the cravings as i sat down and wrote a page on what i thought about perks and what they have done to me. i kinda broke up with them if that makes sense. and i kept the paper for awhile then i burned it. so they are out of my life. just keep going one day at a time good luck god bless
wireman

 
Old 10-05-2007, 05:17 AM   #6
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Wireman25 HB User
Re: trying to stay clean

Hi Taper

how are you doing today. wow today i feel the best that i have felt in a long time slept well. Did not take my suboxone yet and still feel good i am going to be off them by next week. i hope you are staying strong and keeping the faith. your not alone. have a great weekend i will be around thanks

all the best

wireman

 
Old 10-05-2007, 01:35 PM   #7
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Wireman25 HB User
Re: trying to stay clean

JB (Grannyo )

How are you doing today? i have been thinking about you stay strong keep the faith each day you will feel better. i still have the jerks and twitches something fierce but i do feel better. i am deep breathing and trying to meditate a little that seems to help somewhat. trying to slow down my mind and keep it simple stupid. Keep the faith God Bless one day at a time

all the best

Wireman25

tc.

 
Old 10-05-2007, 01:39 PM   #8
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Wireman25 HB User
Re: trying to stay clean

Taper

How are you today? I hope all is well. i am getting ready to leave work i made it thru another week . now i need to fill my weekend with some activities. i dont crave the opiates anymore still have the twitches and trouble concentrating but i am trying just the same . finally slept well last night with the help of ambein . i think the rest did me well. Tell me how you are doing. Thanks for listening

All the Best

wireman25

TC

 
Old 10-05-2007, 07:40 PM   #9
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granny0 HB User
Re: trying to stay clean

Hey Wireman, thanks for thinking of me. I've been having some pretty bad days. I know the physical withdrawal is over, for me it's the mental crutch. Although I'm on Cymbalta, I'm still emotional and depressed. Had an anxiety attack at work due to ungodly harrasment from people on a deal I was working on. I have not slept more than a few hours a night for a week and today,when I got up I told my wakeup caller (best friend) that God help the person that crosses my path today. I had to leave work at 2:00 today because the anxiety was overwhelming and I was afraid I would go balistic on my harrassers - not good for business. Came home and slept for 2 hours and feel a little better tonight. I've been having headaches from hell and thank God I don't have any hydro because I know I would have taken some for the pain. I'm glad things are going good for you and hope this holiday weekend will help me - 3 days of no work. Yeah!
JB

 
Old 10-08-2007, 06:13 AM   #10
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Wireman25 HB User
Re: trying to stay clean

Jb
i know what you mean i have been working as well thru this very difficult time. It is rough. i do know that you sound like you are keeping to together. i have found that exercising a little has helped me. i too wish i could sleep more . i am working right now. How was your weekend? on top of quitting perks i also quit smoking . i just wish the body jerks and twinges would stop. just try and keep things simple and remember you are not alone i can walk with you. keep the faith have hope and know that you are doing a great job.

wireman

tc

 
Old 10-08-2007, 09:05 AM   #11
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mickey56 HB User
Re: trying to stay clean

Wireman: I am so similar to you! Just no wife issues,but 25 years in a very similar boat> I have almost 1 year now,and also feel like I got rid of something very bad! Do not focus on ill-feelings..you are home free now.Trust me,if I did it,YOU will do it! All the best!
Mickey

 
Old 10-08-2007, 01:49 PM   #12
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Wireman25 HB User
Re: trying to stay clean

Mickey

thank you for your support. I am really trying hard i dont have the cravings at all its just the twitches . i am also starting to feel again i guess for years my body and mind had no idea if it was day or night i did not even know how to feel happy or sad. The hardest thing now is trying to control my feelings and thoughts. Each day i do feel better i started to exercise and i think that has made a big difference too. Right now i am trying to focus on the positive things that helped get me here. Mickey thank you for listening hope to hear from you soon.

all the best

wireman25

 
Old 10-08-2007, 01:55 PM   #13
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Wireman25 HB User
Re: trying to stay clean

Grannyo

How are you today? i hope to find you well. i have been praying for you and hope that your headaches have gone away. I had them when i first started the subox and i would put a cold facecloth on my forehead and neck it helped a little. Just remember to move a mountain we must start by carrying away the small stones. Each day will get better stay strong know you are not alone. you are on the right path we are all very proud of you . Keep thinking of the positive things that have brought you this far. Have a peaceful evening.

All the best

Wireman

 
Old 10-08-2007, 06:09 PM   #14
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granny0 HB User
Re: trying to stay clean

Dear Wireman,
I appreciate your prayers and concern. I probably don't deserve it. Some hydro. I ordered in early September, shortly after I ran out, came in the mail Saturday. It came when my never ending headache was excruciating and I took 2 right away - for the pain. It did relieve the better part of the headache, but did not make it completely go away. One good thing, with all my cravings for it, it actually did not make me feel "good". I've only taken them a few times for the headache, which I'm convinced now is from the Cymbalta I've been taking for almost 3 weeks. I looked up side effects of that drug and headache was the 1st one listed along with insomnia (got that), anxiety (got that big time) and excess sweating. I have been having hot flashes since I started on the cymbalta also. Anyhow, I'm calling my doctor tomorrow to get something else for the depression. I was on Paxil prior to that and it helped with my anxiety, but not the depression that came on big time with the withdrawal. I'm certain that when I get rid of these daily headaches, hopefully starting tomorrow, but I don't know it I can switch from the cymbalta to something else immediately, that the hyrdo will no longer be calling my name. It is not making me feel good like it once did and while I'm ashamed that I'm taking it for the headaches, I'm glad that it is not making me feel the way it once did.
Sorry to make such a long post about me. I'm not a "me" type person. I hope you are doing well. It sounds like it from the posts I've seen. Keep it up Wireman, I am proud of you!!
JB

 
Old 10-09-2007, 04:48 AM   #15
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Wireman25 HB User
Talking Re: trying to stay clean

Grannyo

Good morning thats ok its all a process we must go thru.A few steps forward and a few steps back. I have had great success with suboxone it really helped me with the wds and cravings. At least you have identified that the headaches are caused by your meds. i too found that the perks no longer made me feel better i actually felt worse. i would wake up in the morning and pop two or three before i got out of bed thinking that would help me wake up wrong ! imagine i would hide them on my nightstand so my wife would not see them . After that coffee perhaps the caffeine would help wrong again. Anyway now i am able to wake up every morning and feel refreshed i still have some trouble sleeping however its getting better. The twitches and muscle spasms are also getting better i think with the exercise. Man i must have opiates in my muscles that is still being released. well enough about me. JB stay strong dont be so hard on yourself you are number 1 remember that and smile the whole world will think your up to something . all the best wireman

 
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