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Old 10-05-2007, 09:54 AM   #1
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Palm Springs
Posts: 24
StartingOver07 HB User
Trying to stay sober

Hello everyone. Let me start with thank you for all of your amazing stories of strength and power!!! It gives me hope. I am unfortunately kicking 2 things at once. I have been taking norcos for 6 years now and smoking pot for 14 years and I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I also hide this seceret from everyone around me except my hubby who addicted too. I am kicking this first so he can follow me on my journey. The bad thing about these pill addictions is most people CAN work on them and not become completely beligerant like on crack, coke, speed, alcohol etc... They are a high funtioning drug which makes that much harder to quit. I am doing a taper plan that has been working for me. I am almost done and I am SCARED to death to start my life w/o the drug crutch. I know I have shuving my feelings aside for so long now that i am afraid to feel again. I just lost my father a year and a half ago and I dont think I have even dealt with that yet. They ironic thing is he died FROM DRUGS. He struck out in California (3 strikes and you are out) and he died in jail and he was in there because of drugs. You think that would be enough for me run from this crap but in reality it makes you flirt with the idea that YOU will have control and I would never turn out like that. But the reality is I have become the disgusting drug addict that I HATED all my life in my father. How did this happen??????????? I am determined to get off EVERYTHING and it is rough but it needs to be done. I am a mother and the thought of losing my kids absolutely terrifies me. I just witnessed my neighbors kids get taken because she DRINKS too much and this is legal mind you (alcohol). It scared the crap out of me and the only difference between me and her is she got caught. If I got caught getting high as much as I was my kids would be taken by CPS as well. When you have kids you should not be high in any way around them. PERIOD. I have been on this board before when I tried quiting before and met some amazing people but they all are gone now, so I am anticipating meeting some new people going through the same thing. I am having a hard time so I just keep reading , reading and more reading of posts. They help tremendously. Thanks for listening

 
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Old 10-05-2007, 05:46 PM   #2
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Georgia USA
Posts: 53
MerelyMe HB User
Re: Trying to stay sober

StartingOver,

Welcome back, I assume by your call out, to your friend Tim, That you've visited this place before.

I too tapered off of Norco's, I know the road you walk, very very well, while I had a wonderful Doctor to hold my hand each step of the way and allow me as much time as I needed to come off completely, the last step was by far the worst ever.

In my case, the first few weeks were awesome, I was so proud of myself, I was finally pill free, it had been such a struggle, but soon the euphoria of success slowly passed and LIFE settled in, the everyday things we all go through, work, bills, kids, stress and learning to live again, was almost, for ME as difficult as tapering, learning to deal with something as simple as my son leaving his home work paper in the pocket of the pants I put in the washer 10 minutes ago, seemed like a monumental life altering event at time, I had to constantly STOP and BREATHE and REMEMBER, that THIS was the LIFE, I so desperately struggled to get back to, THIS, is what I had worked so damn hard for, THIS is all I ever wanted.

At times it was over whelming, at times it still is, but I learned to take it one MINUTE at a time, if it gets to be just too much, I back away and busy myself with something else, I remind myself, if it doesn't include POLICE, FIRE or BLOOD, it can wait 10 or 15 minutes, until I can gather myself again.

you are doing awesome, one minute, one step, is all it takes...
I'm here if you need me.

Still Just
Me

 
Old 10-05-2007, 07:21 PM   #3
Senior Veteran
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 836
granny0 HB User
Re: Trying to stay sober

Starting Over, I wish you the best of luck. I hope you are tapering and not going cold turkey as I did.

Merely Me, you sound just like me. I've been off hydro for 5 weeks now and while the physical withdrawl is gone, I am very depressed and having a hard time with anxiety. I still crave the hydro and am trying to take it a day at a time.
JB

 
Old 10-05-2007, 09:39 PM   #4
Member
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Georgia USA
Posts: 53
MerelyMe HB User
Re: Trying to stay sober

JB(Granny)

I have been clean slightly over 2 years now, while I am going to pain management and my Dr does have me on Tramadol, for a life long pain issue, I have not taken Norco since May 18, 2005.
It DOES get easier, the depression seems to come and go at first, but it slowly Eb's away.

The Tramadol I now take for pain does have a prozac like component, according to my Dr, but in a very low dose and I did notice a change in my depression when I began taking it, I am prescribed 2 tablets per day as needed for pain, but rarely even take that much, in fact, I have taken only two tablets in the past 8 days.

Since beginning to post on the board and reading about all those fighting so hard to taper or detox of the Tramadol, I have been more determined than usual to ONLY take it when my pain is unbearable.

Winter is fast approaching and my pain seems to triple over night when the weather gets cold, so I know my dose will go up, but for now I feel OK with my occasional dose. Bottom line, I accept that this is something I HAVE to control, never again do I want to travel through the HELL of withdrawal.

You may want to look into a small dose of anti depressant for the depression, as for the cravings, I still crave the Norco, not the pills but the euphoria, the energy, the warm invincible feelings...

Me

Last edited by MerelyMe; 10-05-2007 at 09:39 PM.

 
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