Re: Really what should i do?????
I agree, this is a very hard situation to be in. I started meds for legitmate pain needs and stayed on them longer than I needed to because I liked them. I made excuses that I was still having pain (which I was) but it was manageable and deep down I just really wanted to stay on them. I started off on meds like you did but eventually they do not work and you will find yourself needing higher doses and stronger meds. It is a long road that is NOT EASY to travel on. Doctors will get weird about prescribing, the constant worry of running out, or taking more than you need will completely take over your life. I don't have children, but I know there is NO way I think I could have gone through what I have with children without them suffering some how because the drug will take over your life. You are already seeing signs of that. I know this is not what you want to hear. My suggestion is to come off them first. Try life without them mainly to see if the pain is manageable. WIth you being on pain meds, your tolerance for pain is way down. If you come off them and let your body build up its natural pain tolerance, you may find you don't need them. I wouldn't make the decision to stay on them while you are worrried about coming off, because in all probability, you will find a reason to stay on them because it is very hard to resist not when you want them. If you have been off them for a little while and find your pain is not manageable, then go back on them but be honest with your doc. Ask him to set limits. I had to tell my doc the truth and tell her to monitor me and never let me get out of control again. Trust me, it will save you a lot of pain and worry in the future. These pills are a God send when you are in pain, but there is a price to pay! They are like the devil! I wish I had NEVER had to take one because it is a battle every day now that I am detoxing. I am supposed to go down a level today, and I am struggling with it now. The feelings of guilt when you backslide, accompanied by worry that you are staying on your schedule are all part of this game if you choose to play because someday, you WILL have to stop taking them. If you have no time to DETOX now, you wont in the future either. There is never a good time to DETOX. I would taper now why you have the meds to do it. You already are starting to run out of your meds early which will lead to doctor shopping if your doc wont give you more or you will be forced to detox cold turkey. I would tell your doc now and ask him to taper you down. See someone during it about the addiction issue. THen have them both help you decide what to do later. THat is my opinion. I am sure others will have theirs. Good luck!!