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Old 10-17-2007, 07:49 AM   #1
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Denver
Posts: 72
wheninrome1313 HB User
I changed my mind...

the psychological part isn't the worst WD symptom right now, it is the stomache cramps! I was doing fine and then got hit in the middle of the night out of no where. I almost think it might have been the sushi I had for dinner because I hadn't cut back yet and was just leveling off from my last cut back so it made no sense for me to go through that. Although I am starting to feel that my body is not my own right now, and nothing makes sense anymore with what it is doing.

At any rate, I am approaching the half way mark next week if I stay on track, although I am not going to force it if I am not ready. Thanks to REACH, taking that pressure off and going the day by day way I think made it actually easier to stay on track becase there is no guilt if I miss my scheduled cut back which seems to lead to bigger fall backs. Now I just take every day I get by without going UP as a blessing and a reward!

My anxiety is starting to get better as is my worrying. I think it is the sense of accomplishment I get when I make it through another day. I can't believe I have come as far as I have to be honest. When I first asked to be tapered, I felt that I would not be able to do it. THen I just asked whoever was listening (God, my grandmother, sprit guides, the Easter Bunny...whoever is out there) to help me. I just surrendered myself. The HARDEST part was making that first cut back. (so far anyway) But it worked. I am not a religious person, but I am spiritual, and I really feel that someone is helping me. I feel pretty strong right now, like a huge weight is lifting off my shoulders. I just wanted to say that for all those of you struggling out there, if I can make the first step you can! I am not the strongest person in the world. But there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. If you just make some progress, no matter how small, the good feeling that comes from it is so amazing.

I am parying every day that I can make it to the end. Oh and then I just have the rest of my life to try and stay off....but compared to the stomache cramps....that should be a piece of cake.

 
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Old 10-17-2007, 06:13 PM   #2
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Join Date: Sep 2007
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Sweetie31 HB User
Re: I changed my mind...

Hey Rome.

I was trying to find your posts to see your whole picture BUT....I think we might be in the same boat?? Let me share - Chronic pain patient - Used percocet (10/325) for many years (2001) and been using 8 daily (80 mg's) - when I hit my reality that my doc left his practice & other doctors didn't agree with his methods (pain meds) and suddenly I was left to be forced that I either needed to WEAN off of them to get off totally - or chase doctors appt;s to find a doc to prescribe my meds - I realized I was now probably appearing to be a "seeker" and fyi - I guess I was?? I trusted my doctor of 6 years - the drug was safe & I would be on it a lonnnng time.

Now, for the past few weeks, I have been researching diifferent ways to go about getting off them with less w/d's so I can maintain my life & work- suboxone or wean to get off?? Hmm- trade one drug for another? I have been talking to a place (to a wonderful girl) that helps people to get through w/d at home with minimal discomfort & chose this route but tapering first. They are in a primary care setting & understand us!! NO quick fixes by using other opiate derived meds. She has been very supportive without meeting me but encouraging me! I guess this physician opened quite a few locations so I can provide this info if you'd like!? But this week I have been cutting back. ALL week only have taken 3 a day. Yesterday I managed to make it from NOON til 8pm!!!which was a bigger step! Today a larger accomplishment....I took my morning pill then I MADE IT without my NOON time dose!!! I made it all the way til 7pm!! and even at 7pm...I took 1/2 the 10mg, then took the other half at 8 so I can cruise through the night to keep enough in my system! BUT STILL ONLY TWO TODAY!! The deep gut feeling of NEEDING one- the craving wasn't bad (yet)! Then again - I have a purse full of them? I COULD USE - way more...I haven't because I KNOW what I have to do! BUT. I felt PROUD of myself! I have (or would like to )to think my mind is powerful & my desire & NEED to stop is more powerful!! I did feel I required a small dose of klonipin (1/2 of a 0.5mg tab) to keep my anxiety lowered...but then got sluggish feeling on top of it. It's definitly day by day - little steps....I got sluggish aound 1 or 2 pm...I went to walgreens & grabbed a liquid B complex (sublingual)...not much difference in energy level BUT worth a shot. Tomorrow is another day...please let me know how you are? Don't GIVE UP! I wish you the best of luck!

Tomorrow is a NEW DAY & ONE STEP CLOSER! to "Freedom" from the little white pill that rules us!

 
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