I had a really bad day at school. I felt really depressed. I came home and there was some pot sitting on the computer desk so i smoked it (after 2 hours of heavy thinking).
so i get to a meeting about 15-30 minutes late. I see someone in the parking lot that i know that is a chronic relapser who is known to lie about his clean time. he walked up to my car.
"i don't really feel like going to the meeting... i used today."
"me too. i relapsed today."
"i've got some coupons for wendys for some free frostys...wanna go?"
*one hour passes*
i'm in the city smoking crack for the first time. needless to say, we never got frostys...lol.
that night i couldn't sleep and had to go to work, coming down. it felt so bad. when i got home from work, i couldn't sleep. it wasn't because of the crack(i only had 2 rocks and i shared it with someone..so it was like nothing). i couldn't fall asleep until like 11pm just because i felt so insane and i was fiending.
i haven't gone back to get more yet. if i ever smoke it again i'm really sure that i'll just give up on life and be a crackhead forever.
i don't know why i'm posting this because i don't have a question or anything. i just need to keep hearing myself say "if i ever smoke it again i'm really sure that i'll just give up on life and be a crackhead forever." plus i guess i don't mind getting attention...
i don't know why i thought it owould be a good idea to smoke crack for the first time ever when i couldn't even resist smoking pot when it was infront of me.
Hey Marc, you know what you need to do. STAY AWAY FROM THE DRUGS. You know they are bad for you and as you repeated, you will end up giving up on life and starting a bad addiction. I know it's easier said than done. You sound like you are at an age that is very important in making descions for
your future. Descions (sp) that will affect you for the rest of your life. Please make the right choice. You know what it is. You said you don't know why you posted or what you are looking for. You needed someone to tell you what to do. I have told you, so please heed my advise. Don't become an addict that will lead you down a path of self destruction. Too many people on this board can tell you how horrible it is.
My son is a recovering opiate addict for almost three years. Last Christmas he tried crack figuring he could control it. He told me two weeks later and said that he had never taken a drug that took hold of him so fast. He was out of control and knew he couldn't stop without help. That's after only taking it for two weeks. He went to a detox center for 6 days. It scared him so badly that a drug could take over his life so fast that I doubt he will ever touch it again.
I can only tell you to stay away from that stuff. By the way, his ex- girlfriend died of a heroin overdose on Sept 7th.
Drugs, any of them, all of them will ruin your life or kill you. Sorry I sound so harsh but I went through 4 years of hell with my son and his drug addictions. At times he became suicidal. It's just not worth it. It will not only ruin you but it will put your family through a hell you can't even imagine.
Today is the most important day of your life. THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY!!! You are at a cross road where you must make a decision to go left or right. Whatever way you go will change your life forever. FOREVER! I am repeating this because you need to understand how very serious this is. Most of us on this board have been at these crossroads. Some of us were lucky enough to have had the option to turn around and head back. And very few make it without getting lost. One road will lead you to a positive future filled with all kinds of possibilities ( a great carreer, a loving girlfriend someday wife, kids, travel, love, hapiness and laughter, THE AMERICAN DREAM) and the other will take all those possibilities away from you. Seriously. A crack head has no future. As a crack head, do you think you will find a quality mate, job, etc? You will have no money. The drug will take over your whole life leaving you no room for anything else. The drug will be your girlfriend, your career (being and addict is a full time job) your family, everytyhing. You have to understand that. Because if you break this down and simplify it-One road endless possibilities...the other road ONLY ONE... it really is a no brainer. Take it from us! We have all struggled and are struggling because of drugs. Most of us, if given the opportunity to go back, would have NEVER even tried them!!
You said you didn't know why you posted on this board. To me, it is someone out there giving you the chance that some of us never had. The chance to take that other road before it is too late. You are very lucky. And of you are smart, you will take the advice you get from the people here. Get help for your depression and don't self medicate. It doesn't work, that is a fact!
Remember this day my friend...this is the first day of the rest of your life. How will you choose to live it?