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Old 10-25-2007, 09:54 AM   #1
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Join Date: Sep 2007
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Sweetie31 HB User
Smile I slapped the Pill & Kicked it out the door.....

Hey Everyone...

It's sweets. I'm on Day 5 without the percocet. Somehow, by the grace of who knows what, I found the strength inside of me to beat this by myself & I went to work from day 2 to 4 while going through d/t & w/d.....Guess I shut my mind & body off from everything. I learned this much....the mind is a POWERFUL TOOL....my MIND & DETERMINATION was my biggest ally!! Finally today....I don't feel half as bad as I have been...and finally have a few days off to catch up on ME & My LIFE. It's weird...I feel today that I "B*tch" slapped that little white pill that has own ed me for 6 years and threw it out of my life!! I realize I have a journey ahead to continue on, but just for today, I feel FREE. Do you even remember what freedom felt like, to own yourself, to not be run by a pill, the little thing you think you need to get through a day?? Well...guess I made it through a day - FIVE actually without them??? And Days 1-4 weren't GREAT DAYS but I accepted those bad days were only part of getting into the better days!

I want to say this to all of you (not preaching) I learned alot about addiciton - it doesn't matter HOW you got to the place you are now...whether by your trusted physician such as I, or illegally, or off the net or however....the fact is we all reached this place....and now we need to accept whether we believe Mind or Body or both are addicted to something.....we need to find a way out....there is no easy way?? It's just gonna be a little rough at first but you WILL get through it. I was terrified! But I am here, writing this? Yes, it felt easier during a time to grab that "thing" you go for to make it all dealable.....but what if the day comes that "thing" isn't there...you realize...Damn....I am OWNED by this "thing"??? I don't want that! Being Free is better than being owned.
So...slap that "thing" in the face & kick it out of your life...you can do it, it is only a "thing" and you are much more powerful than IT! You own it's Azzzzz not let it own yours!

Sorry if I used my tough language....lol I tried to be polite & funny ...I hope it made someone smile today My best to all of you - I know its tough!!

 
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Old 10-25-2007, 11:30 AM   #2
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Join Date: Oct 2007
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brickz11 HB User
Re: I slapped the Pill & Kicked it out the door.....

Grats, that is about as good as i think it could have been put...Letting your mind focus on the next 15 minutes is what did it for me, and sounds like the same for you. Being "owned" is exactly the reason for my push to sobriety, what started out as enjoyment turned into a requirement, and thats a big no-no for me . I am a day behind you, and looking forward to next day. Once again grats, its one hella of an achievement, I know personally. Stay strong and before we know it we'll be writing on these boards weeks and months from now about how awsome it is to really be "Free" (insert mel gibson from braveheart). Keep posting and staying connected, and dont ever forget what the last 5 days have felt like.


Brick

 
Old 10-25-2007, 12:08 PM   #3
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Location: massachusetts
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cam724 HB User
Re: I slapped the Pill & Kicked it out the door.....

i so badly want to be in that place.....i have 2 little kids, i bartend on the weekends(new job) and i am in college....i have no time to deal with bad w/d's...i went off klonopin when i found out i was pregnant, and that was the worst experience of my life, i did not leave my house for 2 weeks!! i have been on percocet for 18 months for a thoracic disc protrusion, i never take more than 3 ten mg's a day, sometimes i would take 1 a day, or once my doctor switched me to vicoprofen and i had no prob going off percocet...well yesterday i took 10mg at 2pm and then had a class at 6, well during that class for the first time ever, i think i was having withdrawals, sweats, shaky, etc.....it had only been about 6 hours and i have gone that long many times....so now i am scared....the pills definitely help my pain, but they also make me verrrryyy tired, it is not even and "enjoyable" feeling anymore....i just dont know what to do
any advice???

 
Old 10-25-2007, 12:21 PM   #4
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Sweetie31 HB User
Thumbs up Re: I slapped the Pill & Kicked it out the door.....

Cam--

Hmmm....can't say it wasn't something happening there YET because you say you didn't take them regularly? But you can't just STOP narcotics after 18 months or change over without something saying "whoa nelly" what ya do to me!? I think weaning down is best. a set schedule 2 a day for a few days down to 1 a day etc...down to 1/2 that dose then down to none....just feel your body out - and understand (tell your body) You need to adjust to the new tapered dose & push through it. Slow but sure.....and just set your mind & heart into motion - your going to DO IT! Keep some things on hand to help with symptoms as they come about.....dont look too far ahead & expect immediate results...you should expect to feeel "not quite right" but ..."par for the course" so they say? You can do it...I got a little one too and a job and I managed to do both(I just can't believe I did it now???) again "DETERMINATION" --- just be good to yourself everyday, little by little!Keep up eating & pushing fluids.....I counted hours, then it became a day, then another....then waited for something to happen, then I adjusted. YOU WILL TOO!! I am not quite there YET but feel out of the hole - so to speak!

Time for rest,
~S

 
Old 10-25-2007, 03:06 PM   #5
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: NY
Posts: 837
FullCircle08 HB User
Re: I slapped the Pill & Kicked it out the door.....

Sweetie --CONGRATS and hello. I have been around for about 7 years with this board and you should be very proud of the 1st step you made. I remember those days. It is such a great feeling to know that you are clean. I need you to remember something though that is VERY important. I am NOT TRYING to rain on your parade, because you deserve every minute of it. I have quit this nasty little pill 5 times and made it through WD's each time. I have finally learned after 5 relapses that the HARDEST time is PAST the 1 month time frame. That is when we need to be the strongest. You need to be connected at all times or you will slip. Just a you said, sorry to use harse words but its unfortunatly true. I am so proud of what you have done. I am working through the first part of a taper right now (hopefully the last) and working full time also. It sucks. Great job and keep writing and learning.

0

 
Old 10-25-2007, 09:33 PM   #6
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Kansas, USA
Posts: 75
bridgetmark HB User
Re: I slapped the Pill & Kicked it out the door.....

Sweetie, Day 5 is awesome! That is completely around the corner! I am very, very proud of you. And you attitude is dedicated, serious and humerous; all very necessary components to a true recovery. Keep posting as the days, weeks and months continue to accumulate, I love to hear your story, as I'm sure many others do (we want the details, chica!). Got to go, I'm exhausted tonight, but I had to stop in and say congrats!

Bridget

 
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