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Old 11-05-2007, 03:59 PM   #1
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Heroin and recovering...

Hi, a guy i was seeing and after we started to come close to eachother he tried heroin and he even called me and told me about it, he was addicted ever since. Hes been fighting with this problem for a few months now and I have been there every step of the way with him helping him try and get off. I would hold his stuff and only give him a certain amount a day and slowly take him off. That didnt work. Then we tried switchin to pain killers and getting rid of the heroin completly and that was hard when we had trouble gettin pain medication. So last week I drove him to a methadone clinic, because he needs to move on with his life and I think he needs someones help besides me. I am the only person that knows of his problem his family and friends have no idea. I am really his only good friend right now, as he is 32 and I am 20. WE have known eachother for 2 years because we worked together we only started seein eachother about 5 months ago. We are like best friends now and from when we first started hangin out our relationship has changed drastically. He hasnt been feelin well even before the drug problem which concerns me. We use to have sex every time we hung out now we havnt in months ever since he hasnt been feeling well. We have become best of friends but im not sure if he still sees me as more then a friend since now all we do is talk and watch movies together and i help him when he needs me the most. I am always there for him and he has told me without me he never would of been able to get through this. My question is, he has only been goin to the clinic for a week or two and now hes moving to atlanta which scares me. I do not want him to get into trouble down there with drugs again. He never ment to get involved with drugs and the second he started hes been tryin to get off, but is two weeks enough for a heroin user? I heard you can get addicted to methadone thats why he doesnt want to be on it much longer. Im worried about him, I mean I have dedicated the past 3 months of my life to him being on call every time he called me Id drop what i was doin to help him and make sure he was ok. I will not be in atlanta to help him and I do not want all I have done for him to go down teh drain. He has changed so much since he has gotten into this drug so I am havin a hard time tellin if he now only sees me as a friend or if he still likes me a lot more then a friend. I miss sex with him but I feel like we are never goin to have it again. Does this drug decrease your sex drive? He hasnt been interested in anything sexual since he hasnt been feeling well, im just worried he lost interest in me, and maybe just uses me to help him with his problems now.. Any input from guys, or other heroin users?

 
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Old 11-05-2007, 07:10 PM   #2
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Re: Heroin and recovering...

I'm not a guy or ever used herion, but, it seems to me like you have a give-take relationship. He's a good bit older than you. I think you've done what you can and should get out of the relationship when he moves, if not sooner. Three months of your life may seem like a long time at your age but it's a drop in the bucket. Find a nice guy that is clean, loves you and gives as much to the relationship as you do.
Best wishes,
JB

 
Old 11-05-2007, 07:24 PM   #3
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spark-o-cet HB User
Re: Heroin and recovering...

yep its time to move on.you cant help him,only he can help himself.he will either quit dope and get clean or he wont no two ways about it.let him go to atlanta and have no contact with him.all my plumbing works fine.good luck-spark

 
Old 11-05-2007, 07:34 PM   #4
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Re: Heroin and recovering...

I will always keep contact with him, he is a good friend and as much as people will look down on him for being an addict i know he needs someone to be there for him and i am the only one that knows of his problem. Our age is a big difference but it doesnt change the fact that we are good friends to each other.

 
Old 11-05-2007, 07:39 PM   #5
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Re: Heroin and recovering...

hi, all i can tell you is that when i was on heroin i completely lost my sex drive. im not sure about meth, though. maybe someone who has experience with that will pipe in soon. how long will he be in atlanta?
and, i do have to agree with the others, i would step aside for a while and seriously think about how it will be for youto be in a relationship that, for the most part is only give, give, give. ive done that too, its not fun. maybe just be a support for him, but back off a bit and give him time to straighten his life out. he hasnt been on it all that long. if he coud go to a rehab and have a medical detox followed by some sort of 12 step program or therapy to stay off heroin, he will have better success.
he's going to have to do this all himself, im not saying dont be there to listen some of the time, but let him get the help he needs. methadone is just another dependancy, not only that, but its harder to get off of than heroin...

i wish you luck, please keep us posted and let us know how he's doing... and you too !!!

hugs, michelle

 
Old 11-05-2007, 07:55 PM   #6
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Re: Heroin and recovering...

Thank you for your support, I am kinda second thinking this methadone treatment but hes been on it for a week now and wants to stop and leave for atlanta because hes afraid of getting addicted to methadone so he does not want to be on it long. He will be living in atlanta, he is moving there for now. He will come home for christmas but then leave again. That is why im worried, he will get back into that. He says he likes that Iam tough on him about it and he could never get through this on his own.

 
Old 11-06-2007, 10:53 AM   #7
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Re: Heroin and recovering...

I just want to start by saying that drug addicts are selfish...no matter what they are addicted to. I know, I am one (well, I was until 11 days ago). I've been addicted to pain meds for about 10 years and even before that, Cocaine.

I can tell you, without a doubt, that whatever he is going through (emotionally or physically)...it has NOTHING to do with you. If you try and analyze it...it will only hurt more. I understand that you care for him and are still longing for that closeness you had in the beginning...but he is not in the headspace to give you that right now. The best thing you can do for him is leave him be. I know it will be hard, given your feelings, but believe me...he will understand (and maybe even thank you for it later). Using you for a crutch is not fair to you (and he knows that). But, asking him to commit to a relationship right now could only get messy.

He's got to go his own way, get clean and then be in a place where you can both decide where your relationship goes from there. Right now, he cannot give you any more than that...and as hurtful as it may seem...you've got to let him go. It may not even be for that long...give him his space in GA to get his problem under control.

I feel so awful for you...it's odd to see it from the other side. It truly makes me see what I've put people through. On the flip side...I was a selfish jerk all throughout my addiction and all I ever did was use the people who were there for me (in the worst possible way, when they were only trying to help me)...it took for everyone to abandon me for me to be motivated enough to clean myself up and gain back the trust/love I had lost (speaking of the coke addiction).

Lisa

 
Old 11-06-2007, 12:59 PM   #8
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Re: Heroin and recovering...

I understand what your saying and thanks for your thoughts. I am not expecting a relationship out of him becuase of our age difference. I am just there for him as a best friends now. He has told me that he needs me to help him get through this because he can never do this on his own. So that is why I have been there for him all through this. Iam just there for him to talk to and help him get through his problem. He does not want to be on this drug and since hes started hes been tryin to get himself off, he got addicted as soon as a week of starting this horrible drug. If anything was to happen to him id feel responsible I can not describe it. So iam just there as his friend and there to talk to him and help him

 
Old 11-06-2007, 01:11 PM   #9
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Re: Heroin and recovering...

how are you doing today? have you asked him how he would feel about going to a rehab or a medical detox to get off of this stuff? if he quits meth cold turkey right now he's going to suffer through some pretty bad withdrawls; maybe for a few weeks. help him get a plan into place, something solid; for him to first of all get off the meth and second of all stay off of drugs completely. try looking on the net for places in atlanta that he could go to maybe. and then try a 12 step meeting or a therapist or addictionologist so he can at least get some kind of counseling to help him stay off of this crud. i know, i've been there, it's hard.

i wish you and him all the luck in the world. looking forward to hearing from you.

michelle

 
Old 11-06-2007, 01:24 PM   #10
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Re: Heroin and recovering...

Hey, yeah hes in a clinic right now, and he feels he can come off of methadone easily once he stops because hes only been on it for a week today. Hes just happy hes finally off of heroin and he is afraid of havin an addiction to methadone so he doesnt want to go to the clinic for a long period of time. Hes goin to try and stop this week and see how he feels but I dont think he understands that hes most likely going to feel ****** and not feel well in atlanta. so we will see how this weekend goes for him. He felt horrible sunday becasue he took the take home methadone sunday and threw it right up and was in bed all day feeling horrible because he did not have his dosage for the day. He payed for a full month at the clinic but hes afraid if he stays the whole month he will have a new addiction which would be methadone.

 
Old 11-06-2007, 01:27 PM   #11
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Re: Heroin and recovering...

I have a question....could being on methadone for only a week or a week and a half cause bad withdrawls when stoping cold turkey? I'm pretty sure it will but he seems to be looking on the bright side, he just wants to move on with his life. He thinks he will be ok after this...

 
Old 11-06-2007, 01:50 PM   #12
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Re: Heroin and recovering...

Quote:
Originally Posted by nomore26 View Post
I have a question....could being on methadone for only a week or a week and a half cause bad withdrawls when stoping cold turkey? I'm pretty sure it will but he seems to be looking on the bright side, he just wants to move on with his life. He thinks he will be ok after this...
If he went right to methadone from heroin, the methadone is supressing the heroin withdrawl symptoms. he never experienced the w/d because of this. so, yes, he will go through w/d. he got a taste what he's going to feel like when he "threw up" his dose on sunday.... thats why im suggesting a medical detox. Going to a med detox, they will give him something to help with the w/d symptoms. If he wants to try to "go it alone" then read the first post on this board (the sticky note), it gives suggestions for medications that will help make the w/d a little easier to deal with. nothing will stop them from happening, but you can make it easier to deal with. from what i've read the immodium is really helpful, when you take a double/triple dose. and some have said that the blood pressure med, clonodine, is helpful. but you need a script from the doc for that.
the w/d is why its so hard for opiate addicts to get sober, because its hard to withstand the days/weeks of feeling that badly and the addict will "give in" and just take more heroin/meth/drug of choice to feel better.

how many mg meth is he taking a day?

my thoughts are with you,

michelle

 
Old 11-06-2007, 04:25 PM   #13
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Cool Re: Heroin and recovering...

Try Suboxone, I am on a maintance program from oxy addiction.
Yet if you go from methadone to Suboxone that can be rough.
Heroin to suboxone no problem , just make sure you have a minimum of 24 hours of withdrawel time in befor your first dose of Suboxone.
Takes away withdrawels & craveings.

 
Old 11-06-2007, 06:47 PM   #14
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spark-o-cet HB User
Re: Heroin and recovering...

nomore,he dont need methadone,he dont need suboxone,all he needs is two weeks of taking no opiate based anything and he will be done and can get his life on track.everyday he takes methadone is another week added on to the w/ds.he just needs to stop everything.no longer than he has been using it wont be that bad at all.show him this board and let him read it for himself.good luck-spark

 
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