Well, things moved quickly today, and I found out i'm entering detox TOMORROW! I'm pretty shocked, because even though I knew it could be a matter of 2 days or so, I didn't expect it to be tomorrow.
But better to get started than have to be anxious for a couple days knowing when i'd be going in.
So i'm filled with anxiety, nervousness, sadness (at leaving my doggy, don't tell my husband and general stress. I have been actually filled with HOPE for once, knowing that this is my chance at getting well.....knowing that this is what i need to get off this. But now that it's here, I'm kinda in shock.
I basically run my house, so knowing i won't be in control over ANYTHING when i'm there is both frightening and relieving. That's why I KNEW i needed to go away to detox.....because it was too easy to let things get in my way of recovery. Now i can focus on just me and my getting well.
The good thing is i'm only 45 min. away from home....it won't feel so lonely knowing that.
And another good thing (although it does worry me a bit), is that this place is also a mental facility......behavioral health facility. And since i have depression, i like the fact that they will be knowledgeable in that. Especially since the rehab i went to 3 years ago told my Mom how i'd get counseling on my depression and help w/my depression and NONE of that happened. I'm really looking forward to opening up and letting out some of the pain i've been carrying around for a long time. I've been having such negative dreams every night, and i really need to talk and get things out. In "real life" no one really wants to hear your complaining.....not that it's complaining, but people generally just want to hear "i'm fine".
Anyways, i'm off now to pack and try to relax a bit. I'll come back on later tonight so i can hear from you guys before i leave! Wish i could pack you all in my suitcase and bring you with! Talk later!
the best news of the day,congratulations maggie.a new you is about to be reborn.how many days will they let you stay in the rehab?the longer the better iv always been told.good luck and god bless,-spark
Oh. Oh. Oh..... that's all that will come to my mind. Let me regroup here moment......
I want to wish you the very, very best in this upcoming time. I am excited, nervous, scared and hopeful at the same time right along with you. This has been a long time coming, Maggie. My heart says this is it for real this time and my mind is totally in sync with my feelings because my mind understands the many changes in your thinking that have occurred over these months. You have experience and knowledge behind you already and a mind that is ready to take in every new thing that you learn.
Give it over for good, Magie, to God and know that He is behind you and these people put into your path to help you. Good thing good wishes don't take up space in your suitcase because we are all filling it up with our thoughts and love and hope.
Stay strong, committed and come back to us all as soomn as you are ready.
I already MISS YOU!!! I know you will do just great! We are all here to support you!
Don't put too much pressure on yourself though. Take it slow and easy! And i have to say i am jealous! I wish i could go with you! I keep thinking if i could just take everybody on this board and go to a really nice beach resort together, I know we could kick this habit!!! Especially in the sun on an island!
Well, If i win the lotto you guys are all the first people i will tell! First class for everybody!
But anywhoo, I am getting way off track right now! I feel like a mom, seeing my girl off to college for the first time! (even though i am only 29)!
(Don't forget to pack clean undies and your toothbrush!!!
Ohh, and bring a really good book with you! Something that you can totally delve into that will take your mind off everything!
You are gonna do great! If they let you use a computer let us know how you are doing! If not, we will be waiting anxiously and thinking about you!
THink about how proud of yourself you should be! You realized that you needed help with this and all by yourself you researched it, and made the decision to get help! THat is amazing! You are so ready to be a MOM when you come home! (NO pressure though) HA HA HA!!!
I know you will be sad about your doggie, but while you are there that will be your inspiration! When you doubt yourself just think of his little face saying "You can do it--- RUF RUFF!!"
I love you and can't wait to hear from you when you get back~!!!!!
I am so happy for you !! So proud of you. Please know that my thoughts will be with you. Take this time for YOU. This is an opportunity of YOUR lifetime. to get better and stay better. I just KNOW that you're going to do well and be well. You are so ready to give it up, and give it all to God. Im thanking him right now for leading you to this point, and praying for Him to take you farther, farther than you can even imagine, Maggie. I will be thinking about you while you are gone. I am also missing you already.
How long will you be there? Please post as soon as you can.
Hey! Yall are a bunch of crack-a-lacks! (My lingo for silly people
Awwwwww, I'm missing you guys too already
I'm going for only 7 days.....and that's actually 2 days more than my insurance covers. I know that it's best to stay for longer, but i really can't afford it and i have the tools here to continue my recovery when i get home. And my Brother and Dad are aware that i'm not going to be "all perfect" when i get back and may need a few more days off work. We'll see how it goes.
I've been running around all night getting things "together" for when i'm gone. I swear, i wonder if my husband would even know how to brush his teeth if i weren't around!
Thanks for all the sweet words of hope and for making me feel so loved I can't tell you how much it all means to me! I wish there was a special detox center just for those on this board, then we could all meet up and suffer through it together. Atleast we'd all know about eachother already!
I doubt that computers are allowed where i'm going....they even told me i can't bring: shoes with laces, pants with drawstring, sweatshirts with hoods or strings......very strict because of it also being a "mental" hospital. Sounds freaky, but i was assured that my life wouldn't be in danger
It was funny because i started out asking "is the place clean"....then went to "don't room me with someone i'll fear for my life with" after i found out it was a dual diagnosis facility. Who am i to talk though, i have depression and have been quite "wacko" my fair share
Well.....i'm off to have a quick ciggy (have to quit that when i come home) and go nite-nite-termite. Miss you guys already
I pray for you all every single night, and i will continue when i'm in detox....that is unless i'm so doped up on detox meds. that i can't even remember my name heeeeeeeeeeee
Oh i'm in such denial of the suffering that is ahead That's o.k., i'll face it when it comes. Love you all! Talk to you as soon as i can!
hey maggie,ever see the movie ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST?if you get in there and act crazy they might keep you longer for evaluation.a little "shock therapy" and your h will light up like a pinball machine when you get home.anyway good luck and peace be with you.-spark
My heart is with you. You are an inspiration. I am feeling awful today and this is the best thing that has happened to me so far. Good decisions lead to great results. You are moving forward with your life not stuck in a pill infested, muttled mess. Give yourself up to it if you can. Hard for a control freak. You go girl. Let us know, keep a diary if you can. Might help.