Okay, today I stumbled upon a tidbit of information that I am going to share. You know how we work so hard to distract ourselves from the torment of withdrawal? How we must live moment by moment sometimes to make it? Well, here is an activity that will distract you for a moment... sadly that is about the extent of the distraction, but I hope it will bring a momentary smile to some of you. SMILE.
I want you all to check out your right foot and discover if it it as dumb and easily led as mine:
1 Sit down and lift your right foot and make clockwise circles with it.
2 As you do this, draw the number 6 in the air with your right hand.
3 If your right foot is like mine, it will change direction.
So? Did your foot change direction?
There really is a more serious note to this silly activity. It got me to thinking about some of the AA words instilled in many of us....
]"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
I now understand that I can not stop that right foot from changing directions if I make clockwise circles with my right hand. So, if I don't want my right foot to make counterclockwise circles, I just have to stop making my hand make clockwise circles at te same time.Like with our addictions. We need serenity to accept them and courage to change the course of them. When we discover something that triggers them into action, we have got to stop that activity. If it is friends that are triggers, get new friends. If it is a relationship problem, get the problem fixed.
No big revealtion here I am sure. Just though I would share a silly little activity that made me think of something beyond it.
OK, ok, I did it, and it brought a smile to my face for the first time since Saturday. My right foot is apparently just as idiotic as yours. In fact I about broke a blood vessel in my brain trying to get the stupid thing to go in the opposite direction, and couldn't get it to work. Point well taken. Thanks, I needed that.
I can't do it either and you made me smile. You don't know but I'm 72 hours off of 50mcg. of fentanyl. I feel like i'm dying but your words bring me comfort. And of course, I get the philosophical meaning I think. If I can't control something dont do it. Easier said than done.
Anyway, thanks for the smile
You put your right foot in
You take your right foot out
You put your right foot in
And you shake it all about.....
Naw, just kidding. Came back to this tread to tell my friends here that I am thinking about them. I know how easily triggers can let us fall into unhealthy behaviours everywhere in life. It may not be drugs for me now, but I have many triggers for a lot of other unhealthy behavious and I know now that as become aware of them, I must learn to start acknowledging them and change a lot of behaviours here. Like smoking. I hear the phone ring and I reach for a cigarette. Now I consciously work at not picking up that cigarette when the phone rings. I am going to work on one trigger at a time with this with the hope that I eventually acknowledge each and every trigger and stand up against it as it occurs. Same with food for me. Sometimes I think breathing is a damn trigger for food for me! Emotional eating. Celebrating something? FOOD. Sad? PIZZA! Tired? PASTA! Out for a ride? HOTDOG! See what I mean? I have a LOT of triggers that I have to acknowledge and change my reactions to.
You know, it's ironic. I have been 'in school' in one way or another all my life since the day I started kindergarten. I am a student by nature. a learner. I graduated highschool and went to work for a while in the Post Office (met Hubby there, smiles). I took classes through the Post Office to learn how to operate every new mail machine that came in. Then we had kids and I was back in school.. PTA, classroom volunteering, tutoring programs. Then an actual job for twenty years working in the classroom. And inbetween, I took some college classes, attended classes for my work through the school system, took night school classes for pleasure like sign language....always learning, learning. Learning about subjects and learning about everything that surrounded me. ANd I spent all this time learning, and it took withdrawal to make me see that I had never spent time learning about myself. WHo am I? How do I think? Why do I think the way I do? Why do I do the things I do?
It is a damn hard learning style to have to beat addiction to learn about ourselves, but that does seem to be an outcome for many of us. The whole process, along with the physical and mental agony, is a journey of self-discovery. Who the heck are we? What do we really believe? Why do we believe it? Do we need to change our thinking and beliefs? Yada, Yada, yada.
Self-discovery. A time to learn who we are and why we do the things we do. A time to put aside what others do and the impact on us, a time to discover why we react the way we do to all these outside influences and... triggers. A time to discover how we are impacting others.
Okay, writing that just made me emotional and you know what? I reached for a cigarette. I just put it forcibly and consciously down. I am emotonal. SO WHAT? I do not need a crutch just because I am feeling. I need to feel the emotion my own words have caused for me right now and deal with it. The emotion is not scary... actually quite nice. And I think that is a key to much of my unhealthy behaviour. I never developed a healthy way to deal with my emotions, whetther they are good, bad or otherwise. So, this is something I will have to continue to put much effort into.
Well, thanks for reading my rambling today. Funny, you all joined me in a self-discovery moment or two here. Smiles. I am kinda feeling good about that.
I am a drummer and I barely could do this and my poor uncoordinated husband who I just made try this, can't do it to save his life! LOL
He gave me another one to try:
Extend your pointer finger on your left hand like you are pointing at the screen, and give a thumbs up with your right.
No switch it doing the thumbs up with left and pointer with right. Now switch back and forth un-interuppted.
Wow...are we some awkwardly incoordinated followers...LOL! Now look around and see who just watched you with your leg out drawing sixes and then pointing at the screen! I think this may just get us committed...
REACH,you will know your addiction to ciggerittes is beat when its nighttime and you and hubby have finished the dirty deed and you dont reach for a aftersex smoke.only then will ciggerittes be a thing of the past. hey maybe try it tonight-spark