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Old 12-04-2007, 12:21 PM   #1
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stormx13 HB User
First Time Poster - First Day On Subutex

Ola!

As the title states I'm a first time poster and today is my first day on Subutex. A little background: I was given Oxy and Morphine Sulphate in July 2007 for a rotator cuff injury -- my usage quickly jumped per day to over 300 mgs of Oxy and 120 mgs of Morphine Sulphate. I would get supplied every two weeks by my ortohpedic doctor. I would alway run out of Oxy by the end of the first week (at best) and then would use the Morphine Sulphate to stave off withdrawals until the following week when I could re-up my full supply at my ortho visit and start the process over again. So here is how I got onto Subutex: I got tired of living on the edge of withdrawal. One day in fact I did get caught up short and spent the whole day trying to see the ortho -- a day which was a nightmare for me of cold sweating, vomiting, restless legs, high anxiety, pins and needles (and the rest of the withdrawal symptoms). I also should add here that I was hooked on opiates twice in my life before: In my early twenties I was hooked on pills for about two years and in my mid to late twenties I was an IV heroin user for about 3 years. So I know all about the merry-go-round of this addiction and I could clearly see myself heading down that road again like a runaway truck down a steep hill with no headlights and brakes. So before that happened I wanted to stop.

I went to see my psychiatrist on Friday night after work. I explained my situation. Luckily he is licensed to prescribe subutex and suboxon. He wrote me a 7 day script for subutex and a script for clonodine (for the cold sweats). He also increased my dose of a drug called Topamax which I take "off label" for minor moodiness (aka cycylothymia). I am to see him next Friday. I wasn't able to fill the Subutex until last night. I stretched out my supply of Oxy until last night as well. I took my last dose of Oxy last night at 4 PM when I left work (135 mgs) and then went to the university bookstore and then to the bar for a couple of stiff drinks. I knew that this HAS TO BE THE LAST TIME FOR ME. Even under the influence of 135 mgs of Oxy and a few vodkas I was still having a hard time even cracking a smile at the bar. I knew what was in store for me tomorrow morning: No More Oxy. Giving up drugs for me is always like ending a love affair with a woman I love to death who is killing me. But I wanted to do this for myself. I'm 40 years old now and I want to be "normal." I go to the gym and try to take care of myself in so many various ways and yet I had become a slave again to a little pill that can destroy me.

So following doctor's orders I waitied 12 hours from my last dose of Oxy until starting on Subutex. Actually I waited 13.5 hours just to be sure. I was starting to feel the first signs of withdrawal. The runny nose, restless legs, etc., when I took my first 8 mg Subutex this morning at 5:30 AM. At first it seemed to work, in fact it did work, but just not enough. I still felt withdrawal symptoms. Maybe the symptoms were mitigated by 50% or more which is quite substantial, but still leaves you feel pretty lousy. I thought I would be able to go to my job today because I only have to sit at a computer but I wasn't even able to do that. It is horribly cold her in the NY/NJ area today. I take a bus from NJ to NY everyday to work. Luckily I have flex hours as far as working hours goes and was able to hang around the house this morning talking on the phone to my friend for a while before making a decision. I even took a walk up to the store to see if my hot/cold pins and needles skin could take the icey cold wind and sure enough it couldn't bear it. I felt weak, achey, nauseou, restless legs, depressed. So I called in sick to work around 10:30 and said I was running a 102 fever.

I'm glad I stumbled across this board today. It's good to see so many people who are "just like me" even though we are all individuals. I'm feeling really alone and sick but reading this board has made me feel a whole lot better. I'm starting to feel a little better physically and mentally in having written this. I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring but I just hope I feel a little better than today and that the plan all works out without too much pain.

Thanks for being here,

Storm

 
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Old 12-04-2007, 12:29 PM   #2
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jerry111165a HB User
Re: First Time Poster - First Day On Subutex

you're welcome and good luck.
I,too am coming off of oxys.Not fun to come off of,I can tell you that.Boy,did you hit it on the head when you referred to "living on the edge of withdrawl".
I sincerely wish you good luck,and I bet it works for you with the sub,although I've never used it myself.From what I've read tho,its a wonder drug for us abusers/addicts.
Keep postin.
jerry.

 
Old 12-04-2007, 01:26 PM   #3
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stormx13 HB User
Re: First Time Poster - First Day On Subutex

Thanks, Jerry. How do you manage your Oxy intake? Do you taper and that sort of thing? I find that I can only do that for a short period and at certain times. Other times I just become downright greedy and will keep eating Oxys until every last one is gone regardless of the consequences. Good luck to ya.

I took my second Subutex and am feeling a bit better, but still a bit worse than I imagined or had hoped (but light years better than if I were hour 24 hours cold turkey). I guess there are no magic pills for this though that will make you *completely* okay. I have an appointment in fact tonight with the orthopedic doctor which I just cancelled because I don't even want to be tempted into getting another script for Oxy.

I just want to get back to normal (whatever THAT is) so I can go back to my job, etc., and am wondering how long it is going to take. I'm sure there are many factors regarding this. The psychiatrist wants to maintain me for a month or more on Suboxone right after the week of Subutex but I would prefer no more than say two weeks on Suboxone with a quick taper. I understand that these drugs can be a miracle in some regard (especially for me right now considering that I am 24 hours without Oxy and am not puking my guts up) but the pharmaceutical companies sort of push drugs like Suboxone to be life-long maintenance drugs instead of short-term therapy drugs which they should be. And with that in mind I don't want to be on an opiate like Suboxone for an indefinite period of time even if Suboxone has a much lower potential for abuse than other opiates. Maybe I am putting the cart before the horse though here. I still haven't gotten past day 1 of Subutex and already I'm thinking about how I don't want to be maintained on Suboxone.

- Storm

 
Old 12-04-2007, 01:59 PM   #4
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tat2duser HB User
Re: First Time Poster - First Day On Subutex

Hey Storm....and WELCOME!!

Yah, you're right, this place is AWESOME. Fellow Oxy user here - upwards of 500 mg a day....(only came off of them because I got tired of being a slave to the pill....I never abused - always took correct dose, etc....) But anyway, I too am now a Sub taker - and beiever!! It has been an absolute wonder drug for me....no w/d's at all - no cravings, nothing. So far at least.... I also have all the 'little extras' with it....the Clonodine for blood pressure - the Traz for sleep - and the Seroquil for 'agitation' as they put it....lol....... Not sure what I'm gonna do though....my pain is stil INCREDIBLE, so I'm not quite sure if I can live life on Sub alone becasue it's not really even taking the edge off of the pain. Sucks.

So anywhooo...welcome aboard.... We'll all be right here with you to go through this, so don't be afraid to post....and post often. It really does the mind good to chat about it....and sometimes babble like I often do....

Keep us posted.

tat*

 
Old 12-04-2007, 02:27 PM   #5
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stormx13 HB User
Re: First Time Poster - First Day On Subutex

Quote:
Originally Posted by tat2duser View Post
Hey Storm....and WELCOME!!

Yah, you're right, this place is AWESOME. Fellow Oxy user here - upwards of 500 mg a day....(only came off of them because I got tired of being a slave to the pill....I never abused - always took correct dose, etc....) But anyway, I too am now a Sub taker - and beiever!! It has been an absolute wonder drug for me....no w/d's at all - no cravings, nothing. So far at least.... I also have all the 'little extras' with it....the Clonodine for blood pressure - the Traz for sleep - and the Seroquil for 'agitation' as they put it....lol....... Not sure what I'm gonna do though....my pain is stil INCREDIBLE, so I'm not quite sure if I can live life on Sub alone becasue it's not really even taking the edge off of the pain. Sucks.

So anywhooo...welcome aboard.... We'll all be right here with you to go through this, so don't be afraid to post....and post often. It really does the mind good to chat about it....and sometimes babble like I often do....

Keep us posted.

tat*
Hey Tat, I know what you mean about the pain. I was having pain though even on 300 plus mgs of Oxy too so I was no longer even reaping the benefits of its pain-killing propertis. As I mentioned I have issues since July with my rotator cuff. I also have nerve compression in my cervical disks which causes pain in both shoulders and arms. Luckily I don't find the pain debilitating although it does affect seriously affect my mood and lifestyle at times but my ortho believes that I should be more bothered by it than I am, hence the Oxys and Morphine Sulphate he has no problem supplying to me. Now when I see him again I am going to have to tell him that I am off of Oxy and Morphine and that we have to find a drug-free way to manage my pain.

Anyway, I'm physically feeling better and better with the tick of the clock (and I'm really glad I have a few of you guys out there to post and support me) but I'm certainly not "out of the woods" after only about 12 hours on Subutex, but it is a bit of a miracle pill in that if I wasn't taking it I would be in full blown withdrawal right now with all of the nasty effects of that syndrome. It doesn't take care of the emotional part though. Not to go all EMO on you but alll day I've been on the verge of tears and have been off and on wiping tears away. Is it because I miss my precious Oxys? Oh Oxys wherfore art thou? Parting is such sweet sorrow my precious Oxys? sniff sniff. Joking of course. I just think that we cover up so much stuff with our use of Oxy and various other narcotics and chemicals that when we stop all of this emotional stuff comes through like a rolling river through or over a dam that is weakened. Oxy I guess being the dam.

For sleep I have Topamax, Cycloben oprine, and Klonopin. I take Klonopin but don't abuse it. I have a 30 day supply that has lasted me more than 5 months. I switched from Xanax to Klonopin and it was a good move. I get all of the anti-anxiety relief from Klonopin without the addictive potenetial of Xanax.

- Storm

 
Old 12-04-2007, 02:36 PM   #6
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tat2duser HB User
Re: First Time Poster - First Day On Subutex

Oh yeah Brother, the tears WILL flow. LOL - I'd cry at the drop of a hat. It's wild!! The way I looked at it, is that I was saying goodbye to an old friend in the Oxy's, and THAT's what made it so emotional. But chin-up brother....I found that the emotions got in check around day two or three....maybe even day four - but it wasn't much longer than that. Well, it'll ALWAYS be there, but it does get better and more controlable.

It's gonna be a bumpy ride my friend....but you seem like you've got all the pieces in check and are ready for this.

Just keep us up to date, ok?

tat*

 
Old 12-04-2007, 02:58 PM   #7
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TJinPA HB User
Re: First Time Poster - First Day On Subutex

Hello my Sub Brothers - I am almost 1 year to the day of starting sub and posting on this board. I don't know what to tell you but I tried to take the sub for a 10 day and out but the whistle of the opieate called me back so strong, that I opted for the long term. I just wanted to welcome the new guy and say hey to Tat. Be well and Keep on posting

 
Old 12-04-2007, 03:33 PM   #8
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stormx13 HB User
Re: First Time Poster - First Day On Subutex

Thanks, man, I sure will keep you up to date. It makes me feel better to write about what I'm going through. I'm trying to be patient and not rush things *too* much and yet I don't want to *baby* myself either. I know I'm going to have to force myself to absorb a bit more pain than I would like to at the moment: I don't expect miracles (I've been through this before) and I'm desperately needed at my job. It would be nice if I could take a week vacation right now. But then again my job takes my mind off of a lot of things and I wouldn't want to be around my apartment all week if it turned into a personal pity party. Right now it is a pain to just have to sit up and type because I feel so damn weak so getting back to my job tomorrow will be difficult... and I don't relish the idea of waiting for the bus in these icy temperatures and then walking 10 blocks through windy New York streets to get to my job -- and having to be "on" for my job -- when I feel like this but all-in-all doing things when I least feel I can do it makes me stronger and is better for me in the long run.

 
Old 12-04-2007, 04:38 PM   #9
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stormx13 HB User
Re: First Time Poster - First Day On Subutex

Quote:
Originally Posted by TJinPA View Post
Hello my Sub Brothers - I am almost 1 year to the day of starting sub and posting on this board. I don't know what to tell you but I tried to take the sub for a 10 day and out but the whistle of the opieate called me back so strong, that I opted for the long term. I just wanted to welcome the new guy and say hey to Tat. Be well and Keep on posting
Hey TJ, how's it going, brother? Can you give me a bit more background on your SUBventures. Surely you can relate to my trepidation with opiates (even if only Sub) having reached the crossroads yet again. Right now I do feel like doo doo but I'm hoping that I can do a quick few weeks and out. I'm basing this mainly on the fact that this time around I only dallied for 5 months, however realising that our bodies and neuroreceptors retain lifelong "memory."

Much Appreciated in Advance,

- Storm

Last edited by stormx13; 12-04-2007 at 04:40 PM. Reason: typos

 
Old 12-05-2007, 03:04 AM   #10
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stormx13 HB User
Re: First Time Poster - First Day On Subutex

Day Two On Subutex 5 AM

Mentally and physically feel almost normal, just very slightly under the weather, but slightly in an upbeat mood though (maybe because I made it past day one). Will be able to make it to work today. Think it might be possible that I took my initital dose wrong and that is why I was sick but that might be wishful thinking, but there is an outside chance that I didn't properly let the Subutex melt under my tongue entirely but was swallowing the saliva too readily. On the third dose yesterday I learned to not swallow for about twenty minutes or more. This seemed to be my best dose so my advice to anyone taking this med for the first time is don't swallow for at least twenty minutes -- longer if you can hold out. Kind of keep your saliva under your tongue for that period of time as well.

Some things that helped get me past day one were chicken soup (about all I could eat), Gatorade (for dehydration) and Tylenol Fast Relief (for the aches and pains) and DVD movies -- for me they were Memento, South Park episodes, and X-Files episodes.

- Storm

Last edited by stormx13; 12-05-2007 at 03:13 AM.

 
Old 12-05-2007, 03:17 AM   #11
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oh-notagain HB User
Re: First Time Poster - First Day On Subutex

hello storm, and welcome. i am a sub user too. since may. you might want to reconsider how long you take the sub for, but thats your choice. the best dose of sub for you is the lowest dose that takes away the w/d and cravings. when yoiu first start the doc usually says to take 4mg, if you still feel cruddy two hours later, take 4 more. until you feel good. it usually takes about 2 weeks to get stabilized on a dose, and then you can start to work on staying in recovery (12 step groups, therapist, etc). when you feel comfortable, start to come down in dose, maybe 2mg at a time, stabilizing between each drop)
but we'll still be here when you're ready for that, just get through now !

so, again, welcome, and good luck. look forward to hearing from you again.

michelle

 
Old 12-06-2007, 03:19 PM   #12
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Re: First Time Poster - First Day On Subutex

Hello my sub brother. You are probably feeling pretty good "normal" by now. You are correct in that you should not swalow the sub for at least 20 min. I do have some serious pain issues and the sub along with ibuprophen seem to keep me pretty functional. My fear now is to taper down and off the sub and boom back to having to take something for the pain. I am conflicted as to the right choice. I hope all is well with you, and any other sub brothers or sisters out there, seems there are alot of subers here these days. A year ago it seemed fairly rare.
Peace out TJ

 
Old 12-07-2007, 10:07 AM   #13
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tat2duser HB User
Re: First Time Poster - First Day On Subutex

Hey there my fellow Subbies. Just checking in to see how ya'll are doing today.... Storm, how's Day 4 going for ya? Im assuming pretty good - and you're at work - that's whay you havn't really been around.... I myself am on day 18 - this Monday will be my 3 week appointment.... I'm going, but pretty convinced that I'll be heading back on the 'other' meds, as the pain is just way too much to bear right now. Not sure if it's the cold and damp wintry weaather or not, but it just plain SUCKS.

Anyway....more on everything later....have got to TRY and drag my arse out to get some groceries.....

HAVE A GREAT DAY ALL!!

tat*

 
Old 12-07-2007, 10:30 AM   #14
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Re: First Time Poster - First Day On Subutex

Tat:

Hang in there, buddy. More time away from the narcotics will tell if you really need them or not. I have degenerated discs at t4 and t5, and only recently have found that I can survive on aspirin and ibuprophen (spelling?). A month after my detox, I was sure that I needed narcotics for what I perceived as a pain level of six. Now, if I think about it, the pain is there. I honestly, however, have to give it a rating of two. My mind blocks the pain naturally now. If I don't think about it, it is not there nagging at me like it was for a long time after detox.

These drugs really screw with our perception of pain. Part of the problem must be that we aggravate the injury because the pills do such a great job of killing the pain. The other part is, of course, chemical (endorphins vs opiate receptor agonists).

Good luck in your journey, sir.

mk

 
Old 12-08-2007, 08:13 PM   #15
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Re: First Time Poster - First Day On Subutex

hello
my first time writing. Ive tried suboxone when it very first came out, but I wasn't serious about quitting. Now I am very serious about quitting, and I start suboxone in two days. But now I have been reading that the withdrawls for suboxone are terrible. Am I just trading addictions? I just want my life back. I don't want my life to revolve around a pill. I am starting IOP, and I think councling will help a lot. Couldn't I just do suboxone for like two weeks, and ween down right away. I think w/d wouldn't be as bad if your not on as long. Is that true? I need some info and advice. Please help!

 
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