I've always been a big drinker, but stopped altogether a couple of years ago. I started up again a few months ago. I've gotten in trouble because of drinking before, but the other night I had a heap of Jagermeister, which I'd never really heard of before. Lets just say my behaviour was disgusting to say the least. In front of my husband, who I've hurt very badly. I don't remember a thing. Nothing like this has happened before with any other drink, is it something in the Jager or am I just getting worse and worse. I know I need to stop drinking completely, but I'm just curious about the Jager.
How stupid am I. Blaming it on the Jager. There must be something in it, yeah, alcohol. I have a loving husband and a beautiful 9 yo son. My life could be near perfect if I just let it. What the hell am I doing drinking. I was doing so well without it, then bang started up again, why, I don't get it, everything was going so well, now it's like I'm back to square one. What am I doing.
You have to quit blaming yourself and realize that this is a dizease.. an addiction.. It's not something you asked for. But maybe you realize now that you might need to get some help. It's very hard to do this on your own. And the guilt and condemnation isn't helping, it's just hurting you more. I wish you the best, and there's a lot of people here that will listen and give whatever advice they can. Hang in there!!
you can have that back if you take an honest look at how badly you want to quit. Once you make the decision there are many different approaches but withdrawals, if you have been drinking excessively are inevitable. The other thing is triggers, what usually happens right before you reach for the drink. Are you stressed, feeling bad about yourself, fight with husband or child? All these things need to be looked at. That was you can make a plan to go to a meeting, AA or call someone to say I need a drink. I don't know if you believe in prayer, but that can work too. Just ask for help getting through this time, the more you succeed at those moments, the shorter the need for a drink will feel.
I myself am an addict, pills. The desire to quit has to be huge otherwise at least for me, I set myself up for relapse big time. There will never be a good time, a wait until moment. Something will always be there so you have to really want to make the decision and just do it. Get your support in a row though like Yoss said you can't do this on your own.