Thought I'd start a new thread since it is kind of a new topic about my neck. So the doc said nothing major is going on. Muscle spasms which physical therapy will help along with heat and massage.
So my psych says, and I knew this would happen, my opiate receptors are screaming for more. Man why does it seem like the ortho was wrong and I have a broken collar bone and the pain is very REAL
I hate the brain for doing this. How do you get passed this part? Has anyone else gone through this physical fake pain thing. Man, it feels so real. I know one thing, if I panic it will get worse, so I am glad I went to the doc to find out there isn't anything major, I try to tell my brain to stop and the pills won't work.
What else can I do, I hate to say this but I am on the edge. Not to say the physical withdrawals just started one week after I went down. What's up with that???????????
UGH< at least I know, or think i know if I can get through this one, the next time won't be as hard, or it will continue to slowly get easier.
Any suggestions always needed and wanted.
This is really common...your pain IS real, it's just caused by all these extra opiate receptors you have developed from taking them. They can make every ache you have ever had in your life come back to life. I always have something really hurting...always! And I have had every test in the book done, and then a few.
Fibromyalgia is now super commonly misdiagnosed among opiate users, because doctors can't figure out any thing else wrong....and of course many people hide the fact they used opiates from their doctors.
How long for the brain to heal? Depends what you used and for how long, among other things. Healing takes years, sometimes never, and almost always never completely. Some will feel decent in a month or two.....so many factors. There is always going to be a time when somethimng bad happens, or you get super stressed, and you're going to think (and maybe act) about getting some opiates, because the stressful situation is going to flare up those old extra receptors...they never really go away, they just settle down if we're lucky.
And here's the real kicker....the receptors don't start healing until you completely stop using ALL opiates...and this is why quitting is hard, but staying clean is extremely hard but important.
Then of course there's the fact our brains aren't producing many if any natural endorphins for a while after quitting, which is why exercise is sooo important. It really has to be forced. If you lay around on the couch feeling sorry for yourself you'll feel bad forever...and probably relapse.
Both of my doctors want me to stay on suboxone forever, and they are probably right, but stubborn old me wants to try and quit again! I will stay on it forever as opposed to a lifetime of suffering though, if need be.
Accupuncture can do wonderful things too.
Time is the best healer...that and exercise. Force yourself to start with some long walks, and build from there. A gym membership or regular workout routine, or even physical therapy can help lots.
Hey Capp -- The opiate receptor thing is a tricky bird. What I mean is that our ( opiate abusers) tend to have a very LOW tolerance for pain. We always had a crutch and would NEVER feel pain because of the abuse of the drug (all day use) or reaching a SUPER strong pain killer for mild pain. You are in a hard phase right now because your body is crying for the FULL opiate feeling, which you have numbed over time. I am just over 2 months right now and my brain still tells me that everything would be better with a pill instead of an Advil, BUT then I take the advil and it does just fine. You will get through, just trust the recommendations of your psych and DR. They will steer you, when you think your brain is not
"1 is too many and 1000 is not enough" -
Thanks to both of you. Yes it is very hard to accept the fact that it is my brain's opiate receptors that are screaming for something. I definately would like to and often have taken the easy way out.
I can't this time, I have to try. The worse is like manoo said I am not completely off the opiates yet. I am down a lot, but not completely. So I am afraid the worse is not over.
Which is why I am trying to take a proactive approach. GUESS WHAT I JUST DID THIS MORNING? I TOOK A SHORT WALK!!!!
It was only like 20 min. but felt like a long time and I can't wait to do it again. Laying on my butt doesn't do a da** thing for myself except make me more tired and think about the pain. So I'm gonna start something, walking is good, school starts on the 14th thank God for that. And hopefully physical therapy will ease some of it. I really think the brain has a hold on me 'cause this is how I relapse, from excrucitating pain, or at least so I think.
You know what's weird? When I was younger, until about 26 years old, I never really took anything for pain. Maybe motrin for cramps or something but I never liked to take pills. I did have a high tolerance for pain, WHERE IS IT NOW, I DON'T WANT IT DESTROYED FOREVER!!!
Honey, the situation is not hopeless at all! What youi are experiencing in withdrawal is what I, too, experienced in withdrawal. It is not fake pain, but our brains exaggerate it sometimes. In tapering, we are in a constant state of withdrawal. Not full withdrawals, but a constant state of symptoms that are less than full withdrawals, but ongoing everyday. Once I leveled out from the full withdrawals, that happened when I started my tapers too quickly with drops that were too large, the constant symptoms became a lot like what you descibe. I was very, very tense from the ongoing anxiety levels and my neck and shoulder on the left side were so especially tight. I, too, felt increased pain after sitting a spell at the computer typing. I think it is a bad position when the neck is already tight. Sometimes the pain would radiate down my back on the left side. It sure wasn't pleasant and I think it was the cause of a lot of the headaches I had all the time.
So, now that I have outlined a lot of pain issues, chuckles, there is also good news. I found relief to a great degree by laying down with a heating pad under my neck and shoulders. Whenever I could, I had family members massage the entire area ( they all started to run whenever they saw me, hahaha). The massages and the heat would relax those nerves and muscles and I would have relief for a day or so until the anxirty levels caused the tenseness again.
Capt... I do not suffer antmore from this. I have been off the drugs since , umm, mid summer, I guess, and all the symptoms are gone. I am not so tired as I sleep much better now. Lack of sleep can sure exaggerate our ability to handle any pain. I know it can be disheartening to constantly hear, "Give it time," but time really is needed. That walking can help a lot, also. As your other friends have suggested, exercise that we can handle can do wonders. The movement helps relax the tension and, in turn, the muscles and nreves will relax. Hang in there, Sweetpea. You are so getting there.
CONGRATS to REACH and CAPP. WHY --you guessed it #2000. This was "SO REACH" --no big deal, just another post to help the world. No words can describe what she has done for me and SOOOOO many people on here. Congrats girl.
Capp --great job on the EXERCISE thing. Stick with and make it your job each day. Keep a log of what you have done and try to increase bit by bit each week. You will see how we can switch one BAD addiction for a really GOOD one.
"1 is too many and 1000 is not enough" -
Last edited by FullCircle08; 01-06-2008 at 10:42 AM.
Your suffering is great and has been for a while. If you could use a hug right now, here is a cyber hug from a man (HUG). Smiles.
Your pain increase rings soo true to me. I have degenerated discs in my spine (from years of powerlifting), and yes, the pain is there right now. But you know what? It's manageable without the opiates. When I was severely addicted and detoxing-tapering like yourself, the pain was unbearable. My mind dreamed up so many excuses to start pain meds again (you know the story: the pain is unmanageable without opiates, i have waited 2 months and the pain still keeps me awake at night...) It is, as reach and med have put forth for you, a part of the process and will get better. The problem with most opiate users is that they don't give it enough time to get better.
When you are totally clean, give it a year. It sounds like a long time and maybe can't be done by a chronic pain patient (the real deal, like tat says he is). But we must try our best! During my first three months, I thought that the pain would never be manageable. My addiction monster took over and substituted other drugs to fight the opiate induced sensitivity to my nervous system, the phantom pain (they were narcotics and not opiates). But, I stopped taking those, and I am glad that I was strong. You will be too.
2000 posts reach! That is like writing about 4 novels. Isn't it about time you start a novel about how you became victorious over addiction? I would read it.
Med. You are doing so great. There are days, I have to admit, where I still think about pills, and if I had one in my hand, I might slip (God forbid). However, I might not. The test will come, and I will be honest!! I just hope that I have reaches maturity by then.
I never thought I'd get such a response. Thank you to all who posted:mk, manoo8, medguy and of course Reach.
2000 on my thread, but your words ring so true to me. You seem to be able to relate to what I am going through so well. You word it so it makes total sense of where you were, where you are now and that there is HOPE> I hang on to you guys for that. I like to hear that it does get better. I don't like to hear about how long but I'll take it. If it's a year, it's better I do it now then relapse for another 6 months and then have it be another year. The only way out of a year is to relapse. NOT ME> I hope, I pray, I breathe.
I go to work today, the pain is a tad better, not much, but they might be a good distraction. And they go back to school.
I wonder and am going to work real hard on taking care of myself, as I take care of them.
Thank you all so much
Keep posting, I need your stories, advice.
captnanny, congrats on getting out for a walk. I'm basically in teh same boat as you, and down to 2 mg a day of suboxone, and suffer from cronic pain. I try to walk at least 3-4 times a week, and when i get feling really bad I'll go every day. It almost always makes me feel a little better, and the dog sure loves it. Your pain will settle down, and I have found Advil works pretty darned good for those aches...sometimes I'll even take 4 Advil at a time or one of those prescription 800 mg ibuprofens seem to worlk the best.
I noticed every time I did a suboxone taper the pains would come back full force, but then fade away....some have taken months to fade away, but they do.
lol.. oh, do I remember the pain.. I felt like my back was splitting into.. It was horrid. But it did get better. I'm so glad to see you're hanging in there. I am too.. trying to get down to a steady 4mgs a day of sub. It's going pretty well. I'm going to start a "boot camp" this month at the YMCA. I need some motivation when it comes to exercising, so this will be perfect! I'm actually looking forward to it. Hang in there, Mary Pat..
REACH! 2,000 posts. That's awesome. You're words and guidance are the best.
It is so weird how the brain brings up so much trigger responses. I noticed today, while working, playing with the boy that I was getting tired and didn't really want to jump around with him. Well, guess what happened, yep the pain hit so bad. I wanted to scream. I keep telling myself pills are not the answer, I am for recovery. They say if you change your thoughts the patterns change too. Like instead of saying I am against war, say I am for peace and you will find more peaceful things come into your life.
Well it's working in the fact that I haven't relapsed or thought that if I had more the pain would go away. I just get tired, sick of being tired, then get frustrated and irritable.
Is this when the clonidine would work? I am afraid it will make me too tired. But if i usually get exhausted from anxiety and stress then it makes sense that I should take one.
Any thoughts? Please so I can get through the rest of the day. This is my little pick me up time. Coming on this board for the hour I have while they both are in school.