I can't take this pain. I know it's exaggerated and mostly from coming off the opiates but it hurts like hell. It seems like it is even getting worse, swollen, tender to the touch, burning like there is a fire in my skin.
All of these symptoms, been to the doctor just five days ago but can't seem to get relief from the pain. I don't know if i can make it through the day without taking an extra one. Please I really don't want to, I want to find a strech that works. I've tried swinging my arm like they taught me in pt, that makes it worse, so does the shoulder circles. I can handle neck stretches, very little ones.
I hate to say it but the walking or when I walk it hurts, maybe I walk to hard on my feet.
What I am trying to say is right now I feel like a complete whimp, loser who can't tolerate pain and is a big cry baby. I feel like an invalid laying on the couch barely able to move at times. I want to give up, but I really dont, I want to rest my neck until I get some relief but I gotta go to work tomorrow and that really hurt me on Monday. I start school next week, on campus so I have to be ready for those two days. God help meeee
I feel like I am on the edge, I don't want to give in!!!!
I'm right here with you!!! Have you been completely off the meds before you startd taking them again? I know how hard it is not to give in and take more, did it last week. As for the pain did the doctor tell you anything else you could do to help the pain. I mean if you are in pain and can't function then I think you need to take them. Sometimes I feel like a wimp to, but you have to beleive you are strong at least thats what I'm trying to do. I know pain sucks!!! I'm trying to deal with it as best as I can. Don't give up!!!!
MP, I'm here for ya and understand how you feel, but you have to buck up a little bit, here.. No one said this was going to be easy. In fact, it's the hardest thing you will have to do in your life probably. You are just going to have to take control of this and know that you are going to get through it. This is just a drop in the bucket of your life. One day you will look back at this and be a stronger person for it.. I don't mean to come out harsh, and I hope you don't take it that way. I know what it's like to be in pain. Whether it's mental or physical. Just hang in there because there's no going back. I'm here for you whenever you need to talk!!
Yes I know I have to buck up, that is why I am so down on myself, I didn't cave yesterday, still going to work today but my mind set is terrible.
I get these "moments" of staying strong, then I wipe myself out completely. I guess that is why I feel like a whimp, I am trying to accept the fact that this is a phase of recovery and it will get better. I know that in my head, the doctor has told me nothing is really that wrong it is muscle spasms.
I think, and this is gonna sound like I am a total crazy person, but the more I think about the pain, the worse it gets. It's almost like I am asking for it. That is pure crazy. When I use words like my body is relaxing, calm I feel better. Than I feel some pain and run like it. What the hell is that, 'cause pills are not options for me, why would I do that to myself.
Today I am starting over. Going to work, I am going to limit some of my activity. But I am going to spend the early morning getting the girl ready for school, then playing with the boy until he goes to school. That is my plan.
God, I do need to hear some harsh words, I may not like them but it helps.
I didn't mean to sound harsh... you're way too hard on yourself.. Addicts are. There's no person worse on us than we are ourselves. You need to give yourself a break....you are doing so good!! No matter what, you have stuck to your taper.. that's a big thing, Mary Pat! It would be easy for you to go the other route. You need to give yourself some credit. And you know what helps with those muscles? If you can go get like a 30 min massage, you would feel 100 times better.. Just a suggestion.. I'm here for ya!
You weren't too harsh at all. I need it sometimes. I actually realized and posted it my other thread that I think I cling to the pain because in actuality I am afraid of starting school again next week. It's like a blankey kind of? Pain, pills it's almost like they are both inseperable. Yes a massage sounds so good right now. I do have a physical therapy appt. on Wednesday where they will give mini massages, but maybe I can get one in before then. Thanks for being so supportive, all of you.