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Old 01-10-2008, 08:12 PM   #1
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livinfree47 HB User
how to help

Thanks for the encouragement, friends!
How can I best help my teenage son who has been experimenting with drugs? We've had the talks and now it's time for more serious help. He has admitted to not really wanting to change. He's having to much fun with recreational drug use and sees no need to change.He is very infatuated with the sixties era and music. I'm exhausted with the cat and mouse games of "is he high or not?" He is much more skilled at the game than I am.
Should I let him talk to someone who has been there...done that and overcome or should I put him in an out patient drug rehab program? I don't think he is addicted to anything, but I just don't know. He has changed so much in the past year. I can't stand to see him do this to himself. He's so precious to me.
Suggestions please!

 
Old 01-11-2008, 01:30 AM   #2
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Yossarian22 HB User
Re: how to help

hi livinfree,

i wouldnt advise placing him in any rehab situation - esp against his will, this will cause more harm than good to your relationship. I started experimenting with drugs (and sixties era music) at the age of sixteen - i am still alive - tho there are quite a few of my school friends who are dead/seriously injured due to alcohol alone. what im getting at is - its a natural urge in a high percentage of teenagers to 'dable' for a while (peer pressure in mid to late teens far outweighs parental pressure).i suppose it all depends on what drugs your son is doing - how long has he been doing them and how much is he doing (im putting my mortgage on the fact that these will be unknown to you - and thats not a criticism btw).
I am a firm believer in the fact that strong arming your kids into giving up something because 'you' want them to will only cause a further split in your relationship (been there - got the T-shirt). I personally (and this is just my advice - nothing else) would make sure your son makes 'informed choices', making sure he knows what he's getting into and what the potential pitfalls are. As a teenager, he's going to experiment regardless of what you think (sorry - but its true). my parents tried 'strong arming' me into giving up 'experimenting' whilst i lived in the family home, this resulted in me moving out aged 16 to move in with people who took drugs ALL the time - this resulted in me then sliding right down the slippery slope. Though i had a hell of a lot of friends who kept it a secret from their parents, and they stayed at home until they left and went to college ( where their experimentation/drug use still continued ). The 'drug use' for a lot of people tends to fizzle out in their twenties - they get bored - start to focus on a career etc. In my circle of drug taking friends - two of them are now Barristers, one is an Accountant, one is a Dentist and one is one of the worlds leading internet experts - it didnt seem to do them any harm. If he stays at home - he is at least under your roof, and if he knows the 'score' about the potential hazards, then the risk of harm is reduced drastically.

im also gonna go out on a limb here and possibly incur the wrath of a few people - but, between the age of 16-20 - i had some GREAT times on drugs. in fact - i'd go so far as to say some of the best times of my life were on drugs. The fact is - the bad times on drugs come after 'use' has become 'abuse',


"It's natural to feel anxious and concerned. The most important thing is not to panic.There's no strong evidence to suggest that young people who experiment will become regular drug users. It's actually a small minority of people who use 'soft drugs' (like cannabis) that'll move onto other drugs.

Arm yourself with the facts so you can begin to have an open conversation with your child about drugs." ......FRANK

i hope this has been of some help to you and i sincerely hope that it hasnt offended you in anyway - it wasnt intended to. Please post back soon and let us know how thngs are going.

and try not to worry too much - as a parent i also know that that is a difficult request.

PS - just being there for him and loving him is all you can do - and is all he really wants you to do.

yoss

keep on keepin on
__________________
yoss

"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."

Last edited by Yossarian22; 01-11-2008 at 01:35 AM.

 
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Old 01-11-2008, 07:58 AM   #3
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mano2008 HB User
Re: how to help

It's a tough situation, and really something he is going to have to learn on his own. I'm not sure how old he is either, but by the time he reaches 12th grade, probably at least 75% of his classmates will be experimenting with drugs too....and then if he goes on to college the numbers increase. Look at our society, it's no wonder kids experiment. They look at it as no more dangerous than drinking.

How are other aspects of his life? Are his grades good? Does he have nice friends? Is he involved in activities that he enjoys? Keeping him busy and finding the right role models for him might help, for example a coach or teacher that he respects.

I can remember my Mom finding pot when i was about 14, and telling me it could lead to harder drugs...Well of course i didn't believe her, and of course she was right. I didn't listen to my Mom, and your son probably won't listen to you, but he might listen to a role model...My mom did send me for counseling at a local drug clinic, but I didn't listen to a word the councilor said.

I'd say the one really great thing here, is that he is open with you enough to talk about it. Use that to your advantage in a non threatening way and try reasoning with him, telling him it is normal to experiment with pot at his age, but that pot and other drugs can change his chemical makeup of his brain forever, and he could easily wind up working at McDonald's for the rest of his life if he doesn't get his act together now.

Perhaps his guidance councilor might have some ideas for you as well.

Good luck with him....keep a close eye on him, and if things start to get too crazy, then it's time to get tough.

mano

 
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