Re: how to help
i wouldnt advise placing him in any rehab situation - esp against his will, this will cause more harm than good to your relationship. I started experimenting with drugs (and sixties era music) at the age of sixteen - i am still alive - tho there are quite a few of my school friends who are dead/seriously injured due to alcohol alone. what im getting at is - its a natural urge in a high percentage of teenagers to 'dable' for a while (peer pressure in mid to late teens far outweighs parental pressure).i suppose it all depends on what drugs your son is doing - how long has he been doing them and how much is he doing (im putting my mortgage on the fact that these will be unknown to you - and thats not a criticism btw).
I am a firm believer in the fact that strong arming your kids into giving up something because 'you' want them to will only cause a further split in your relationship (been there - got the T-shirt). I personally (and this is just my advice - nothing else) would make sure your son makes 'informed choices', making sure he knows what he's getting into and what the potential pitfalls are. As a teenager, he's going to experiment regardless of what you think (sorry - but its true). my parents tried 'strong arming' me into giving up 'experimenting' whilst i lived in the family home, this resulted in me moving out aged 16 to move in with people who took drugs ALL the time - this resulted in me then sliding right down the slippery slope. Though i had a hell of a lot of friends who kept it a secret from their parents, and they stayed at home until they left and went to college ( where their experimentation/drug use still continued ). The 'drug use' for a lot of people tends to fizzle out in their twenties - they get bored - start to focus on a career etc. In my circle of drug taking friends - two of them are now Barristers, one is an Accountant, one is a Dentist and one is one of the worlds leading internet experts - it didnt seem to do them any harm. If he stays at home - he is at least under your roof, and if he knows the 'score' about the potential hazards, then the risk of harm is reduced drastically.
im also gonna go out on a limb here and possibly incur the wrath of a few people - but, between the age of 16-20 - i had some GREAT times on drugs. in fact - i'd go so far as to say some of the best times of my life were on drugs. The fact is - the bad times on drugs come after 'use' has become 'abuse',
"It's natural to feel anxious and concerned. The most important thing is not to panic.There's no strong evidence to suggest that young people who experiment will become regular drug users. It's actually a small minority of people who use 'soft drugs' (like cannabis) that'll move onto other drugs.
Arm yourself with the facts so you can begin to have an open conversation with your child about drugs." ......FRANK
i hope this has been of some help to you and i sincerely hope that it hasnt offended you in anyway - it wasnt intended to. Please post back soon and let us know how thngs are going.
and try not to worry too much - as a parent i also know that that is a difficult request.
PS - just being there for him and loving him is all you can do - and is all he really wants you to do.
keep on keepin on
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."
Last edited by Yossarian22; 01-11-2008 at 02:35 AM.