Yesterday I found this story on another recovery board, maybe some of you read it but I want to share it with you because reading this just shines a new light on my recovery. I think maybe her name was Mary (not sure) and her husband just gotten married. Life was going great for them until she injured herself and was put on oxy's. Of course the first time it was an instant rush and she loved the way she felt. Months went by with her taking more and more, then her husband just wanted to experiment with maybe just taking one just to see what it was like..He was instantly hooked. A year went buy with them both so high that they barley knew eachother anymore. One night they of course were high as a kite they both passed out in bed. the next morning she woke up to find her husband completley blue..he was gone. There is so much more to her story.. her feelings and guilt...I just couldn't type it.
I know this is not the only story that has ended up with death. Reading her words I felt like she was right in front of me telling me this will happen if you keep living your life this way. Last night I was thinking what if one of my children walked in and found their mommy completely blue...trying to wake me up crying mommy, mommy wake up but it was to late. How selfish am I... it makes me sick to my stomach... I mean this could of been me easly. I know to many times I have been on the couch passed out. I never know what that would do to them and with that I AM DONE. I will not do this to my husband nor my kids. I want to see them grow up and get married and have babies of their own.. I want to grow old with my husband sit on the front porch in our rocking chairs side by side. I want to live life again.. I've missed to much over these years being high.... I refuse to let pills take all of this away from me. Maybe an angel was there with me yesterday brought me to this sight and made me read her story. I will never know why I found her story ...but I think she may of saved my life. I will endure these withdrawls, cravings, and what ever else it takes to make it for myself, my husband, and my children. I may still compalin and of course need all of my friends here without all of you and your kick in the butts I would be trying to find pills some way. I just wanted to share this with all of you.