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Old 01-18-2008, 04:24 PM   #1
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 88
ilovejoaquim HB User
my story on how it all started

so i was doing pretty good. got off the oxycontins and only took percosets. I been controlling it, maybe 10mgs at a time twice a day or three times a day. Well today I am ****** at myself.
I spent $50 today and bought 10 of them. I bought them at around 2:30pm and it's now 7:30pm and took all of them already.
I was on my way home at 3pm and was fine. Then came home and started feeling depressed, then I went back out to the store at about 6pm and all of a sudden while I was driving I had a break down. I started sobbing hysterically. How the hell could I take so many? Why the hell did I spend so much money when there are bills that i'm behind on? Why the hell do I need them? Why am I addicted.
I remember how my addiction started.
Two years ago I was dating a man whom I was in love with (or so I thought) untill I found out I was pregnant with his child and he was not happy, made me and I mean he beat me untill I got an abortion, a few weeks later I found out he had been engaged to another female for two years already! That weekend I found out which was mothers day weekend, I had a prescription in my purse for vicadins for a toothache. As I was crying and sobbing on my way over to confront him about how I just found out he was cheating because his girlfriend answered his phone when I called, I took a pill for a toothache and within 20 minutes I stopped crying. That whole weekend I kept taking those vicadins to stop me from crying.
THAT IS HOW I BECAME ADDICTED.
Since then in May of 2005 I have been addicted to pills to stop depression.

So today I broke down, started crying and hated myself for ever taking my first pill 2 years ago.
No wonder my life hasn't improved in two years. I've accomplished nothing in these past two years.

Thats my story. It felt good to share it

 
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Old 01-18-2008, 05:55 PM   #2
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Washington, DC USA
Posts: 111
DroopyEyes HB User
Re: my story on how it all started

Hi....I'm going to begin by saying something lighthearted, not to hurt your feelings. OK? Here goes:

I hope your name is Joaquim.

Because I want you to change your username to ILOVEMYSELF and not the LOSER who treated you so badly. I am just disgusted over what you wrote.

There is no better revenge than good living. I know it's hard, but try to laugh off the other girl by reminding yourself that she is chosing to be with someone who BEAT another woman.

The next time you want to drop $50, go to your YMCA or equvilent, and make an investment in YOURSELF. Get yourself strong, mentally and physically...and remind yourself that Joaquim won't ever have YOU again.

I hope you understand everything I wrote as kind and caring. I'm an older brother and I really want to kick Joaquim for how he treated you.

God bless, take care of yourself and move forward away from him.

 
Old 01-18-2008, 06:32 PM   #3
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 88
ilovejoaquim HB User
Re: my story on how it all started

hi droopy eyes,
you kinda made me laugh, first off, joaquim is my fiance, lol. He is the man that treats me very well but does not know my secret with the pills. Joaquim is the man who has never, and will never put a finger on me. It took a long time to get over Leo and just as I thought I would never love or never trust another man as long as I live and just when I stopped believing in love, is exactly the same time when I met Joaquim. Funny how stuff like that happens, but anyways, lol

Leo is the "man" who hurt me and cheated, lol

but good point, i should change my name to ilovemyself,
thank you

and also thank you for sympathizing with me with my story. It was one of the worst times of my entire life. I wanted that baby too. I remember how he drove me to the abortion clinic and when I was in the parking lot I was so damn scared and didn't want to do it, I cried and cried and refused to go in so we got on the highway and he was so mad that I didn't go in that he tried to push me out of the car on the highway. Then when I found out he was cheating I went to his house and ripped up every clothing item i bought him, took a knife and cut up all the shoes i bought him, took back all the jewelry I bought him and he called the police, charged me with B&E, theft and crap like that, I spent a week and jail and got a guilty record. Then I had to pay restitution ( $2,000) for everything I ruined even tho I bought it.

I hope he gets his some day.

Last edited by ilovejoaquim; 01-18-2008 at 06:34 PM.

 
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