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Old 01-20-2008, 08:56 AM   #1
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Mr Bo Jangles

Hi Guys

I have watched that new show Celebrity Rehab a few times. I seldom watch reality shows and at first I thought this whole thing was hokey. Just some celebrities getting some money for baring all, you know? Then, as I watched a new episode, I began seeing stuff that was real familiar to me and became more interested. Got me to thinking. As I watched last night, the song story of Bo Jangles kept running through my mind. Couldn’t figure out why. This morning it was still going through my head, so I looked up the lyrics and it came to me ( The self-hypnosis thing…. search in the subconscious to discover the whys of the conscious). I read over the lyrics a few times and thought about them.

Bo Jangles was a simple, happy old soul at first ; led a simple life dancing for money around the South. Seems he was a really great dancer and dancing gave him pleasure as well as others. He hung out in life with his dog for 15 years doing his thing. Then his dog died. It was a great grief to him. Great grief. He carried it with him for more than twenty years and while he was dancing, he sometimes told the story and cried. He was an alcoholic. He danced and drank. Never got over his grief. He just moved along ( not moving forward, just along) in life for so many years dancing to earn enough money to get drunk and then would sit in jail for a while. When he got out, he started the pattern all over again. Dance, get money, get drunk, go to jail. And crying in grief over a long ago hurt. Couldn’t get past the old hurts in his life and became an alcoholic and a lost soul.

I think many of us are, or have been, Bo Jangles. Stuck in an unhappy pattern and not doing anything to change it. Like why the heck didn’t Bo Jangles get a new dog? Why didn’t he take his talent for dancing to a new level and work to make it a real career instead of dancing for pennies? Why didn’t he try something different instead of staying stuck in that sad, sad pattern?

Poor old Bo Jangles didn’t have rehab of any kind. He stayed stuck in his life and carried pain with him that he couldn’t, let go of. I had a lot of resources and still I remained a Bo Jangle for many years. What was I thinking???? I guess I didn’t want to think. All these resources at my beck and call and I hid from them. When I finally broke, I could not hide from them anymore. It was change my life or die living it the way I had been.

Jules asked what it takes to reach bottom., to change the way we live and think as an addicted soul. I think I have a more definitive answer now…. We have to recognize the Bo Jangle in us. We have to accept that we are stuck in a holding pattern of nowhere. I watched those celebrities as the withdrawal really began and reality set in. I saw myself. I know that they are going to have to deal with whatever pain and hurt life had dealt them and let go of it. Lifestyles need to be changed, a lot of soul searching to be done to figure out what they are hiding from in the pills and liquor. Like me. Like you.

Bo Jangles did not have the resources. Poor Bo did not even have enough smarts to start with a new dog. We don’t have to be Bo Jangles. We have the resources to gather tool of knowledge and help ourselves out of our sad patterns. We have to use them, understand them, put them into practice. We have to stop our crazy Bo Jangling dances and become who were meant to be…. happy, productive, drug-free. I hope the people on the show make it. It is sad Bo Jangles did not. Don't be a Jo Bangles!

reach

 
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Old 01-21-2008, 10:11 AM   #2
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Re: Mr Bo Jangles

That was great. Of course.
RR

 
Old 01-21-2008, 03:25 PM   #3
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kadee HB User
Re: Mr Bo Jangles

Reach
If I would have read this post first on change, I doubt I would have even posted anything in your previous thread, life after drugs. Gotta throw out my old shoes, and get a new pair. When I wake from this heavy-body nap. Wish we could facebook.
kadee

 
Old 01-22-2008, 06:15 AM   #4
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Re: Mr Bo Jangles

Hi RR and kadee

Thanks for the nice words, Redrock. Smiles to you for sending me a smile like that.

Kadee... any thread you post on is just fine with me. I am always so happy to see you. I read the other post, but decided to reply here. Kadee, you have gone through two major life episodes recently. Mom passed on and a relationship with a man came to an end. Both were big deals, kadee. Both were paople you were invested in with your heart. Whenever I experience loss, it always makes me stop and evaluate life, my life. There have been lots of time when that evaluation makes me sit and think, "Where am I headed? What am I missing that I am supposed to be doing?" So in my thinking, you are just evaluating things that have happened recently and the thoughts are leading to old stuff, unhappy stuff. It's a level of depression, Sweetpea, and I think a part of grieving. Take it for what it is. Experience it for a little while and then move on to living your life again. It is but a time of pause and does not have to be where you remain. You are smarter than Bo Jangles, you have more knowledge.

The time is at hand to inject something new into the couch pattern. One new thing, kadee, for today. Get up and pretty yourself up. Smile in the mirror when you do even if the smile is forced. Go back and rest on the couch if you want to, but look pretty when you do. Tomorrow, when you lift yourself from the safety of the couch, make yourself pretty again and add one more new thing... take yourself for a short walk. Then rest again if you feel the need. You will rest better because you have added and accomplished two new things into your pattern.

Do these things for you, Sweet kadee, just for you. Recovery, restoration, is a time we must take for ourselves alone. We must become selfish in order to get to the place where we can share of ourselves again. And along the way, I have learned that I can share myself freely and gladly, but only to the extent that I remain healthy in my own mind and body. If I give away all of myself and leave nothing for me, the responsibility of others takes over my life and I resent it. And you know what, kadee? It is self-imposed, the giving to others at the expense of ourselves. It is often an expectation we force on ourselves, not one forced on us by others.

Balance, kadee, seek balance.

Start by balancing the daily pattern of your life and the rest falls into place by default.

Hope to share again soon.
Love
reach

 
Old 01-22-2008, 11:38 AM   #5
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Re: Mr Bo Jangles

Reach, my friend,
Ohhhhh, shivers you send, the last paragraph, slight shivers over my head, like you are waving your hand over my hair. Yes it is so true, recovery is restoration,I must remain healthy in my own mind else I resent so many around me. And if this means getting selfish, then selfish, I will be to make myself better towards a better life for myself. Others can wait, it is so true, how I expect them to expect from me, I must let myself be and stop placing these demands that might not even exist..

I have been having some experiences that some professional doctors might think I am hallucinating, but I am not, I know it is the soul receiving something I cannot see, I can feel it, and I can hear it. To put it bluntly and abruptly, an out of body experiences before I slept 3 nights ago. I felt numb for days, today I must resist this and get up and on. Snap out of it. snap the sweet pea out, and rolling.

I must not let this get me, the depression, and yes you are right a life long relationship with my mom and my X, a 9 year relationship. I have been snared so much, I become accustomed to the restraint. Anyway, yes, today is sunny, and I opened the windows, had a shower, am going to have a walk with you, like I did last spring, maybe I will buy a little plant, maybe I just need to go shopping, or maybe I need to get my hair done, I haven’t been clothing shopping or hair primping for 4 months. So, I am up from the 3 day sinking couch today, I tried to smile in the mirror but I couldn’t, I’ll try to do that tomorrow. I have done that before when feeling on top of the world and the world smiles back in appreciation.

You are right, it is time for re-evaluation, I think I am seeing too many doctors, I think I am going to say good-bye to some of them, they make me feel sicker.

You say,"The rest will fall back into place by default", you are a wonder drug,

Thank you so much for helping me find myself.
I wish I could the same for you.

blessings
kadee
and blessings for you too Mike, thank you

Last edited by kadee; 01-23-2008 at 10:42 PM. Reason: personal

 
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