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Old 01-22-2008, 01:02 PM   #1
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jules3 HB User
The evil twin

Ok im on here all the time so you guys know my story 21 yr old ..opiate addiction , benzo abuse probably bipolar, full of anxiety and suffers depression. we dont know which came first so everything is being treated in one program. hes on an anti-depressant and a mood stabilizer...Hers the pattern, which is so obvious its disgusting. heavy drug use for a coupla days, we know about it and confront him,hes sorry,he cries,he seems to want help and we help him,he is calmer,nicer you would like him now!! this time he is in an outpatient program and works 3 days a week..than after a couple of weeks and all the drugs wear off, we can tell just by looking at him, the other twin comes out,this one is angry obnoxious, hates us, everything is our fault,doesnt want to work threatens to quit the program..bal-bla--this is a pattern that is going on for way too long now. His eyes turn evil looking and we are telling him if he uses again hes out...does this pattern sound familiar?

 
Old 01-22-2008, 02:30 PM   #2
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isitme HB Userisitme HB User
Re: The evil twin

I used to call it being on the roller coaster ride. Sorry it's bumpy at the moment for you. Look after yourself.

 
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Old 01-22-2008, 02:52 PM   #3
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ilovejoaquim HB User
Re: The evil twin

jules,
your son sounds like me when i tried to quit and went a day or two without pills. I was EVIL! I yelled at everybody; my mom, my son, my boyfriend.
I hated everybody, i called out of work and stayed in bed and cried. Thats when I bought more.
My mom didn't understand why i was acting like that but she knew that i was trying to quit.
What I wanted her to do what tell me its okay to be evil, its okay to yell at my son and its okay to cry. I wish she coulda said something like that to me because if she did, I probably wouldn't have collapsed back into another pill.

Stay strong for your son, with time, it will pass, it's worth the evilness your getting for a better future between u and your son.

good luck!

 
Old 01-22-2008, 05:02 PM   #4
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cram315 HB User
Re: The evil twin

Jules, remember when we were growing up and they used to say we had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. No surprise that evil is the last four words to devil. Your son once again he is engaged in a battle.

How did the program miss this? Think back over the past week or so, there had to be signs he was slipping mentally or back to his old using patterns.

Do you think he should have been in a program full time and then stepped down into a part time program?

You can't give up, not yet. There is hope. Build walls. They will serve two purposes, one to keep him in check and two to distance you from him.

Is he using now? Have you ever kicked him out before? Are you in any danger? Please, if you feel scared of him, remove him. He isn't himself right now.

He sounds scared but scared people react like scared animals. They snap.

cram315

 
Old 01-22-2008, 05:37 PM   #5
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jules3 HB User
Re: The evil twin

No cram, hes not using..maybe hes slipping mentally..tomorrow is the program and he has a pdoc appt. we are not afraid of him we are in awe of him and his actions. its like hes a rebellious 16 yr old again..he never was like that at that age..hes really all messed up now. maybe it is that he doesnt know who he is without using.. We never did throw him out, we did call police on him once but nothing came of it..they told us to call the courts and get a restraining order if we felt we needed it. we never got that far.

 
Old 01-22-2008, 05:38 PM   #6
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jules3 HB User
Re: The evil twin

o sorry, yes i do feel like he needs inpatient and than a step down program...he refuses..he compromised with outpatient..

 
Old 01-23-2008, 02:40 AM   #7
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captnanny HB User
Re: The evil twin

Hey Jules,
I hope the appointment goes well today. I remember my doc telling me that he wished he could go away when he had patients like me detoxing. Of course he was joking but he was talking about the anger, irritatibilty, frustration that we take out on him. I wish there was something that took a more in depth approach to dual diagnosis. They usually do for everything else. I know that after that evilness you describe at least for me, comes depression. It's like I don't know who I am, why I am this age and have so few coping skills. He's younger than I am, maybe he lost his coping skills at 16. Maybe he has to meet a few more developmental steps before feeling like a true adult. That in and of itself is very humiliating to feel, at least for me it was. So of course I would get so mad that my life had to be this way. If only I knew that nothing was going to change the way my life was, was at the moment except for me. I needed to accept the help. If your son wants to accept the help, then if he is going on these good guy, bad guy trips, something has got to be available for him to help him with this.
I hope the doc has good advice.
Keep us posted.
MP

 
Old 01-23-2008, 01:08 PM   #8
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Re: The evil twin

Hey Jules ~

I'll be eager to hear how it went, too. There are so many ways to approach these issues --I just hope the doc can cut through the BS that your son will likely be handing him. Which doc is it that believes he might be BP? Does it change the treatment plan in any way??

I'm doing OK -- day 16 since my surgery. I go to the surgeon tomorrow to see how I'm coming along. Husband's 87-year old mom goes in for the very same surgery for what sounds like the very same problem on Tuesday. Luckily SIL is taking care of her.

I think about you all the time, hoping that your son is getting a handle on his issues, and that you're doing better, too.

ta ta for now --

xx MM

 
Old 01-23-2008, 04:21 PM   #9
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langlee HB User
Re: The evil twin

Jules-

I'm thinking about you, too! I know this is taxing, but I'm hoping your son has a turnaround soon!

Love,

Hope

 
Old 01-25-2008, 09:05 AM   #10
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mznell HB User
Re: The evil twin

Jules ~

Haven't heard from you in awhile...is this bad or good?? Please give us an update when you have time.

I just got back from having an MRI. My recovery has hit a little bump and the surgeon wants to be sure my hardware is all in the right place and there aren't any squished nerve roots.

I hope you are doing OK and that son is getting something out of the program.

I haven't spent so much time with mine since he was in high school. He comes every day and stays with me. So far I haven't been able to convince them that I'm doing OK and could be home without anything catastrophic happening!!

Maybe after I get the results of the MRI they will let me go back to being an unsupervised grown-up.

Thinking of you....
MM

 
Old 01-28-2008, 11:42 AM   #11
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mznell HB User
Re: The evil twin

Hey Jules ~

I have been wondering about you...how you're doing...what's going on with your son...with the treatment, etc.

Please post when you have time and let us know, OK??

xx MM

Last edited by mznell; 01-28-2008 at 06:00 PM.

 
Old 01-28-2008, 05:12 PM   #12
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langlee HB User
Re: The evil twin

Hi Jules-

Where are you? We're all concerned about you and want to know how everything is. Even though I haven't been able to post as much, I try to check in to see what's going on.

How are you, my friend?

Love,

Hope

 
Old 01-29-2008, 01:47 PM   #13
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Ivorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB User
Re: The evil twin

Big ((((((((HUGS))))))) to you Jules. I hope that you are taking this time to take care of you....this has just had to have taken a toll on you. I am sorry my friend and wish that I could come by and take you away from it all for a while.

When it gets quiet we know that you need time away to not allow it all to be too consuming but when you are ready let us know how things are going. For now we will just distract you with updates.

As for me....my brother is trying with all his might to hang in there to see his favorite team WIN the Superbowl!!! Of course it is the NY Giants and I am hoping that they pull it off in tribute to a wonderful guy.

GO GIANTS GO


Love you lots ~ IG

 
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