Just thought I would write today because I'm having a real hard time. My pain has really picked up and I have an appt with my pain doctor today. Don't know what to do or say I don't want to go back to the meds. I hate going to the doctor but I have no choice I have to go. I'm scared!!!
Your fear of going to the doctor is justified. Im new here so I really dont know everyones story. Have you actually stopped taking the meds? Does this physician know about your addiction? Maybe you can talk to him about alternative treatments. Fill me in just a bit, if you dont mind.
Winnie, I hope you can hold on. You're about 3 weeks clean now, correct? Your brains opiate receptors are screaming for relief and haven't barely begun to repair themselves. Your endorphin production is probably extremely low, so your pain is exagerated at this point...it is real pain, don't get me wrong, but alot of it is probably caused by the lack of opiates and is being made much more intense than it really is....Plus all the added tension associated with withdrawing causes additional pain. Have you been exercising? Like at least a walk every day. Are you taking lots of Advil to help with the pain?
It's going to be very hard for you to turn down a script if your doctor offers one. I think the 1st words out of my mouth to the doctor would be " i don't want any narcotics". Maybe some prescription 800 mg ibuprofens would be your best bet about now, but the exercise is crucial. Walking really is amazing too. my doctor preached wqalking daily to me for years, even before i got addicted to opiates. i always fought it and said I don't need top walk...i work 80 hours a week and i'm walking all the time. She always insisted that it is not the same, and she is right. I am now hooked on walking, and get a high from it. For me, it's better than taking a valium.
I totally sympathise with you, and i know i will be going through this same thing here shortly...try and remember the reasons you wanted off these in the first place...and "play the tape forward" if you are thinking of using again.
Can i ask what you detoxed off of and how fast you tapered? Please try and hang on longer. You have been having some good days and some bad it seems, and that will improve if you give it a chance, I truly believe that your pain will become managable once you get through this adjusment period.
Stay strong...don't listen to that little voice in your head telling you to accept an rx for anything opiate related. Slow and steady will win the race.
I had been on Hydros 10/325 for about eight years. At first I didn't take them daily just when I had severe pelvic pain ...well as years went by yes the pain had got worse and I went through two surgeries. I became addicited to them and didn't take them just when the pain was bad. This went on till the end of December 07 when I started tapering and then as of January 4th everything was gone. Yes this road has been hard as hell but I am determined to make it. Mano, I know you are right i think my brain makes the pain worse that it really is. I don't want to be like this anymore...I know that with time it will get better...just having a bad day!!
Winnie, how was your pain prior to taking the norco on a steady basis? You say you only took it during bad times, but then you progressed to daily usage due to increased pain. Did you abuse the meds during that period, or did you take them as prescribed? One extra one here or there when you are really hurtin' and don't have breakthrough meds isn't abuse either. I'm new here, though not new to this subject. I don't know you, but just from reading this thread, I had to ask you these questions so I can further understand the dynamics of your situation. I am also a pain patient, so I do empathize with you. And remember, just because you get sick if you run out doesn't make you an addict. You may be, yes, but with just that to go on, the only thing it definitively says is you are dependent on your medication. My mother takes methadone (after too many percocet and she couldn't take oxycontin either because it jammed her up) every day, as prescribed, for her pain. She isn't an addict, either. She never runs out early. But, she has to take her meds on a regular schedule. Her pain never lets up anyway, so she has to take it on a regular schedule for that reason. But, if she didn't hurt all of the time, she would still have to take her meds so as not to get sick. Unfortunately, that's the trade off. There are many people who can take their meds as prescribed and do so, every day. If they were to be separated from their meds, from whatever, they would get sick. They aren't addicts. They are dependent on their meds. It's a state of being the body undertakes when one is exposed to opioids for a long period (or maybe not so long) of time. It's the nature of the beast. Unfortunately, our pain and tolerance progresses to the point where we have to take our meds on an around the clock type of schedule. Many people couldn't sleep if they didn't take their meds that way.
Last edited by mmmmichael; 01-24-2008 at 11:19 AM.
Well to make a long story short yes I have true Pelvic pain that I have suffered with for eight years. I have been through surgeries and god knows everything else. At the beginning yes I took the medication as needed but as time went on they made me feel good and I liked the high. So yes I would ok myself to take a couple extra a day and it got worse from there. It seemed like I had no control over myself. Then not to long ago it hit me and I was like what the hell am I doing to myself I felt like such a junkie. I also read a story of a girl who took hydros and got her husband hooked and he overdosed and died right next to her. It made me feel so selfish for what I was doing to my kids and husband It hit me pretty hard and from then on I was determined no more. I have been doing so good..felt good etc until today the pain has hit me hard ..like a Mac truck and I feel awfull today. I have tried everything under the sun for releif. I don't want to go back to narcotics because they always say it's worse. I feel like i'm starting to slip!!!
hang on in there winnie! its a tough fight - and i have no idea what you must be going through!- i do know 1 thing though, and thats that YOU are no junky - i AM/WAS/ALWAYS will be. you see there is a difference - you started abusing something that is highly addictive and was prescribed to you for a legitimate reason. if people were prescribed 'chocolate' for ailments - there'd be a lot of overweight people out there. If you take something that is addictive for so long - guess what? you become addicted. that doesnt make you a junky. you still have your self respect, you aren't throwing everything away and turning to crime to feed a raging habbit.
you're a wonderful person winnie and you can beat this. hang in there and focus on where your life is going now - forget what WAS.
keep on keepin on
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."
Sorry about the tough day. Pain can sure be a drain on us.
Winnie, you are about three weeks off now, yes? I am not downplaying or making light of your pain at all. I just wanted to share that for me, pain increased for quite a while as I came off the drugs. Yes, there was real pain for me, but it was exaggerated by the withdrawal. The brain has not yet caught up to the withdrawal. It is not yet making enough painkilling chemicals to help deal with the pain.
For me, the pain eventually came down to its realistic levels and today I am able to cope with it without the opiates. It was not until I was completely off them for 2-3 months that I was able to truly evaluate the actual pain and the level my body could sustain realistically. It is hard to wait it out, Winnie. Really hard. There were lots of times I would just lay in the bed and cry about it. I cried and then gritted my teeth and endured it because I understood it was exaggerated pain. I prayed, oh Lord, how I prayed, that it would become bearable. And it has, Winnie. I hope the same for you.
I don't know if you remember but I went through this with my neck just a few weeks ago. Guess what? The pain went away without more medication, my doc said that there was irritatation and simple stretches and motrin will work. I was in complete agony. It was my brain opiates screaming to get relief from a synthetic product. I know it's not easy, or over, I will have intense, intense pain again and will go through this cycle of "I NEED RELIEF"
For you, I hope when you went to the p m doc, they helped you understand this, if they know. My doctor knows so it was easier for him to assess.
Let us know what happened.
hey winnie hope your feeling better this morning. don't give in just yet. isn't a couple of months of pain better than a lifetime if you can manage to stay away from opiates. i know that it is hard sometimes but the mind is a very powerful weapon. nhguy