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Old 02-04-2008, 07:08 PM   #1
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mandypaige24 HB User
How to tell

Hello Everyone,
I'm new to this, so please bare with me. My mother is a constantly recovering addict. She was a nurse with an addiction to pain meds...at one time 70 a day. She has been using, relapsing, and "recovering" for over ten years now. Long story short...she and I just started to rebuild a relationship about three months ago after five years of no speaking. She just finished a two year program and appears to be doing well, with the exception of a few times. I don't know if I'm just paranoid or what, but I need to know some sure signs to look for.

I.E. at dinner last night she kept nodding off and having to shake off her "exhaustion" as she called it just to get through the meal.

I would appreciate any help. THX

 
Old 02-04-2008, 07:47 PM   #2
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ilovejoaquim HB User
Re: How to tell

its hard to tell just because she was "nodding" off. it could be a bunch of things, or she could have just been really shaking off her exhaustion. My mother does that. She is a nurse and she's constantly "shaking" off her exhaustion. But could be anything.

For pills, some signs to look for is exessive talking, like..she won't shut up and she keeps on blabbing and blabbing. If she seems to have alot of energy or can't sit still for a long period of time. When I take pills I get like that. But thats usually the only sign I show when I take a pill. There are other signs to but it just depends on the person.

 
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Old 02-05-2008, 03:54 AM   #3
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jules3 HB User
Re: How to tell

nodding is a sure sign of opiate abuse..also take a look into her eyes..if her pupils are tiny or pinned thats another sure sign...good luck

 
Old 02-05-2008, 07:09 AM   #4
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mandypaige24 HB User
Re: How to tell

Thank you so much! Her pupils do get like that, and her eyes almost delayed and jittery. What types of opiates are we talking about here? How many does it take to get a physical reaction like this?

 
Old 02-05-2008, 12:35 PM   #5
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Re: How to tell

mandy i dont know the answer to your questions hopefully somebody else will answer..

 
Old 02-05-2008, 05:52 PM   #6
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DroopyEyes HB User
Re: How to tell

I would look for these things if it's pain pills:

-going off to another room with her purse or wherever she would keep the bottle.
-Excessively dry eyes (if she wears contacts, she'll be constantly blinking and/or wearing her glasses instead)
-Nodding off inappropriately
-cotton mouth to go with the motor mouth
-always having a drink (not alcoholic) around so she can slip a pill in.

wait a minute - *I* did all those things!

 
Old 02-05-2008, 07:48 PM   #7
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mandypaige24 HB User
Re: How to tell

If you don't mind me asking do you still do these things...by-the-way, you hit the nail on the head! She does all of these things, her drink of choice is Diet Coke, and one after the other.

 
Old 02-05-2008, 07:50 PM   #8
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mandypaige24 HB User
Re: How to tell

Quote:
Originally Posted by jules3 View Post
mandy i dont know the answer to your questions hopefully somebody else will answer..
Jules, thanks so much for being kind enough to respond.

 
Old 02-05-2008, 11:35 PM   #9
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DroopyEyes HB User
Re: How to tell

Hi Mandy,

You asked if I still did these things --- answer is no --- about a month ago, I "came clean" with my wife and came up with a tapering schedule. My wife holds the pills and doles them out to me. I had surgery about 2 weeks ago and involved the surgeon's nurse, too, so that I didn't receive an extra "stash" of pills.

My taper is slow but I haven't fallen off the wagon once. it's been nice wearing my contact lenses again; they were almost intolerable when I was high on pain meds.

I would also add that she might have zero appetite, alot of constipation and a bloated stomach. The reason is ...the vicodin/pain meds slowwwww the system down and tend to kill the appetite. But, it slows EVERYTHING, so she will become "backed up" and therefore her colon will remain full of ...stuff. Depending on the strain she's doing to her liver, her abdomen may swell, too.
Some people choose not to eat because food will slow down the rate of absorption of the drugs, reducing the high.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this but I'm glad you're trying to educate yourself, too.

 
Old 02-06-2008, 02:21 PM   #10
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mandypaige24 HB User
Re: How to tell

Droopy,

Congrats on your attempt to let it go. You'r family will benefit just as much as you will! I admire that.

I have decided that I will not tolerate losing her to this again. I love her too much, and as long as I m in the picture she at least tries, and that's all that I can ask for. I feel like she just "slips" every now and then. Is that a realistic feeling?

Last edited by mandypaige24; 02-06-2008 at 02:22 PM.

 
Old 02-07-2008, 04:29 AM   #11
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jules3 HB User
Re: How to tell

mandy, you sound like a real sweetheart. i want you to know that her addiction isnt about what you want, its all about her...she has to want to stop. believe me, she knows how much it is hurting you but she cant help herself..shes an addict..selfish,selfcentered,selfabsorbe d...you need to get some outside help for yourself. reading your posts makes me so sad, you sound like a wonderful daughter that is suffering. its not fair to you..Please help yourself.. Keep posting..

 
Old 02-07-2008, 07:40 AM   #12
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mandypaige24 HB User
Re: How to tell

Quote:
Originally Posted by jules3 View Post
mandy, you sound like a real sweetheart. i want you to know that her addiction isnt about what you want, its all about her...she has to want to stop. believe me, she knows how much it is hurting you but she cant help herself..shes an addict..selfish,selfcentered,selfabsorbe d...you need to get some outside help for yourself. reading your posts makes me so sad, you sound like a wonderful daughter that is suffering. its not fair to you..Please help yourself.. Keep posting..
Thank you so much Jules,
I do have a wonderful therapist. Mom is actually going to do a group session with me on Monday! I know all of these things about her personality, and I know that I cannot change her, but I refuse to give up on her. When she flies straight she is so wonderful. I love that person, however I hate what she does to herself and to all of us who love her. I am sure that she has not spun out of control, that person is the one that I walk away from. She is not beyond help at this point. She is an occasional popper. I have been dealing with this for over twelve years. My body and my mind are exhausted, my hear is broken, but Christ calls us to love. I will continue to answer that call. As long as she is willing to help herself.

 
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