Hey Guys n Gals.... There are SO many post/threads going on that it's so hard to keep up with everyone.... I just wanted to start a fresh one to see if everyone can check in and update on how it's goin...how you're all doing, etc....
Same crapola here.... Just CAN'T WAIT for this damn winter to be over....the cold weather is killing me. Even my Pharmacist told me the other day that he noticed how much worse my limp was nd how much more pain I looked like I was in during the winter time. I guess maybe it' time for me to seriously contemplate a move south - or west....Pennsylvania winters sure aren't gonna get any lighter anytime soon.... I'm just soooo sick of this pain....I really wish someone, somehow, somewhere could make it better for me... Oh, and yes, I am STILL nursing that damn broken heart, but that's getting progressively better. I'm now at the stage where hurt is turning into hate....I know that's not really a great thing, but hey, hate is better than hurt any day in my book. Just confused s to why a good man like me still hasn't found someone to walk thru life with....
Ok, enough whining - that's not was this thread was intended for...lol...
So folks - PLEASE check in when ya'll get a minute....I know it's tough sometimes with the hectic-ness of everyday life, but I really do worry about - and think about you all often.
Hey Tat, it's nice to hear from you, and see how you're doing!!! Me, I had to break down and make an appt to see the Dr one more time. I just don't want to come this far and have the rest be difficult.. ya know? It's hard to explain. I know that I'm doing the right thing though. He'll give me just enough to continue my taper from 2 right on down to none. I want to do it the right way.. since I have so far. I guess that explains it.
I've been very busy at work, and under a lot of stress. For what I get paid.. It sure ain't worth it. So I'm about out of here for today and glad I have a weekend to recoup. I feel I haven't seen my boys in a while..
So, I hope everyone on here has a great weekend, just remember to think positive.. 1/2 of this is really in your head..
Life moves along for me day by day. I filed the initial paperwork for disability. I had an hour and a half phone interview and answered a million questions. A bit overwhelming, but I am going to do what I have to do concerning it.
My grandson, just turned two, came for the day. Jeepers! Think detox is tiring????? Chuckles. Awww, I enjoy every moment with him. We played trains, went for a little walk, had a big bubble bath, took a nap.... all the nice things in life for a two year old and a Grandma. But I am sure I will be turning in a bit early tonight!
I am still reading here a lot. Trying to keep up with my old friends and meet some new ones as well.
I had some news this week that is pretty emotional for me. You all know how I have written about how wonderful my family doctor has been to me through so many things. He has been one of my staunchest supporters through so many things in my life, including getting me off the drugs. The man really has my heart. Well, after 30 odd years with him, we have to say goodbye. He is giving up his practice for a less hectic job at a nearby hospital. It is a needed chnage for him... he suffers pain every single day from back and neck issues and has not looked well at all for a while. His office practice is a hectic practice and this is something he needs to do for himself. He has struggled with the decision for three years now. It will be hard for me to say farewell to him, but I do wish him well. A year ago, this would have sent me into a frenzy of hiding in pills. Today, it is just a bit sad for me, but I am glad for his decision for him.
Nothing else earth-shaking to report. I think of the board often, keeping you all in my prayers and wishes for wellness. This board hs lent new maning to the phrase 'extended family' to me.
Hi Tat and friends,
I can't tell you how surprised I was to see my name there and I didn't even type it LOL. I check the boards daily but have been just plain lazy about typing or replying to posts.
Life's has had it's ups and downs lately. The big up: I finally got over a pretty major depression that started last fall when I went cold turkey. Thank you Zoloft
The down - I've had a problem that I thought was a severe UTI but after weeks and anti-biotics, cranberry juice etc, it just felt worse. Spent 10 hours at the ER Tuesday because of the never ending lower abdominal/back pain. They did a CAT scan and it didn't show anything which I was glad of but does not solve the problem. Left there with a script for 20 5 mg oxycodones which I have used very sparingly. Glad to report they don't give me the thrill they once did
Saw my regular dr today and we think it's probably adhesions from a complete hysterectomy I had a few yrs ago. I'm going to give it a few weeks before making numerous dr appts to deal with that. The only way to really know if it is adhesions is to have laproscopic surgery. My daughter is working in the production office of a movie being filmed in Miami, staying in a nice condo/hotel on the water. We are going to mooch off of her March 1st - 8th. Plan on checking out the Keys while we are there. I'm really excited about that and worried about "the problem" that I'm hoping will just go away.
Tat, sorry you are still fighting the pain and the cold. I've been sick of winter since it started and if I didn't have the trip to FL to look forward to, I'd be my usual miserable winter time self. Has your financial situation improved from where you were during the holidays? I sure hope so. Thank you for thinking
of me. I appreciate that.
Well, enough about me, how about the rest of you?
Best wishes to all,
Jules... it was, indeed, a great day with the baby. He always brings sunshine to my day. Smiles. It is one of the things I have looked forward to for a long time and I am so grateful that I am able to enjoy him so much these days.
Tat... the weather sure does play havoc with old surgeries... ( and for me, old age does, too!). Hot baths, hot patches and rest help me a lot.
Granny... Oh, I am so happy anout the depression lifting. It is a long haul for sure. I am so happy that you are able to use the pain killers only with the thoughts of them relieveing pain and sparingly. It is sound, sober thinking. Congratulations. Truly. You keep that up! I hope they can get to the root cause soon.
Brandi...I am with you, Sweetpea. keep the faith, keep it strong. Rooting for you all the way.
Anyone seen MEDDGUY lately? I was happy to see LOU1 ( Spidey) post the other day. Thinking of you guys. And MAGGIE. I know you are busy with the pregnancy. Best wishes to you, Little Mama.
I am mellow today. Mellow and mild and enjoying it. Just living my life in my little corner of the world here and glad in it. A little of this, a little of that. In the day.
May the Force be with Each of You
Well, well, well, Tat !! Glad to hear from you.... and so so sorry that you have to deal with pain and hurt. That sucks .
But life goes on. Mine too. I am still at 3 - 4mg. Not getting any better, any worse. Im ok. I think i updated you on the "otherside" about trying to find more ways to "market myself" to get more clients. Business is just a little slower right now than I want it to be, but not slow enough to get me REALLY worried. I was offered a job managing a gym very close to here and i have some time to think that over. So, all in all, i feel very lucky b/c i DO have an option open to me.
But, more about you, im boring. How are the kids? Where are you in terms of meds? Have you had to increase at all? Do you have a solid doc now? Coming to cleveland any time soon? LOL enough questions?
And about your ex - as far as i can tell she's just plain stupid (harsh words, sorry) to give up a guy like you !!!
I have some ties to Cleveland. Ever been to East Coast Creamery ( ?) over in Parma. Ummmmmmmmm! Real,old fashioned frozen custard... the real deal.
Michelle, as long as you don't go backwards in your taper. Hold steady for a while longer, maybe trying to hold steady at 3 mgs. There are times in a taper when we need to do this. Just don't let your commitment to endure what you have to fade so that you can eventually move forward again, okay? If we wait until we get too comfortable, I think we can get stuck like in the beginning and have to make a huge effort to get motivated again. Stay strong, baby Girl.
YES !!! i have been ! i LOVE LOVE LOVE ice cream. Definitely one of my weaknesses! And East Coast has some of the best ! They just opened one where i live, in Solon, so i dont have to drive to Parma anymore! Lucky Me !!!
And, Reach, thank you for the kind and very meaningful reminder not to get too comfortable and not to go backward. You are sooo right - its very easy to become complacent and stop trying. So i thank you for that. Its one of the reasons i wont stop coming to this board. I NEED that constant reminder, everyday, that I, too, am trying to accomplish something.
You take care of yourself, and that darling grandbaby, girl !!!!
p.s. Have you ever been to the Honey Hut in Parma? Yummmmmmmmmm!!!
Last edited by oh-notagain; 02-08-2008 at 06:08 PM.
I am very surprised that my name is up there. Thanks for that. How am I doing? Well a lot better than before I stopped posting. I have been lurking but not posting because of just too lazy I guess. The depression that I was in has lifted thanks to excercise and a new schedule. The withdrawal from school this term was helpful to reach out to a dear friend and schedule weekly outings with her, after watching her beautiful two year old daughter.
Though I must say this past week or so I have been struck with a terrible case of bronchitis. Antibiotics did not work so might have to go back to the doctor. It takes so much out of you especially when still withdrawing. I am down another half and going to work as scheduled. Yes I agree with winter. I get the pain, and depression. I have to say though putting my ipod on and dancing around my apartment is great for me. Soon I'll be able to do it for longer periods.
Just hope this cough gets better soon. I can't stand it.
hi all - i have read all your posts and have been lurking/reading them every other day. at the moment i am up to my ears in work fitting a new kitchen in my home - so haven't had a great deal of time to post. glad to hear you are all hanging in there and doing well. (hey g8tr - dont worry about taking that last bit of the taper slow - thats the part that counts - you're doing amazingly well and i know you'll get through it smelling of roses ). nice 1 tat for starting a new thread - as i have no idea where you'd all gone - seems to be a lot of new faces around these days? which isnt a bad thing tho. and yes - i think you should move somewhere warm tat - so long as it has a pool and a spare room for yoss . keep hanging in there mate. michelle! - theres nothing wrong with 3-4mg!! you're at a plateau at the moment - you'll know when it s time to move on with the taper - the tortoise beat the hare remember?! hows your son? did you have the appointment? capt - i hope you feel well soon - the best medicine in the world is music - so keep that ipod on 24/7 - and keep dancing - it'll work wonders for you! . reach! well what can i say about the omnipresent omnipotent reach - with more arms than 'Shiva' to type out all the help/advice that anyone could ever want - if the world had more 'reach's it would be a greater/happier place to be - na noo na noo - now THAT had me laughing my busy little socks off!!
mk? anyone heard from him???
anyway - i have had a longer break from the ongoing work in my kitchen, so i shall love you and leave you all. you've been a great crowd, thank you and goodnight.
yoss has left the building
ps - i'll pop back later - take care all
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read"
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."
Yeah, I'm still hanging around. I've been reading a little here every day. Thanks for thinking about me. Forty days without a smoke---that rocks!
I bought a pair of giant binoculars yesterday for looking at the stars and wildlife. I've wanted a pair of those for years (my sober ones). Since I have a lot of travel with my job, I will carry them with me all of the time. I can't wait to get out and play with em.
The neighbor has a four-wheeler that I have been drooling over...
This is probably the only place I will know most of you good folks here, these boards. It would be terrific to have a real person-to-person fire-side chat with yoss (I would be laughing my stomach into fits), reach (who commands the greatest of admiration), tat, michelle, gatorgirl (don't need fires in Florida, though), capt, RR, granny, kadee, shay4bliss, chrissy, medguy, wireman...
God bless you all.
Last edited by mk7657; 02-10-2008 at 09:24 AM.
Good to see you, Buddy! All hope that you are feeling well.
I think you are going to enjoy those binoculars. What an interesting hobby and with your travel you should get to see a lot. I am a complete klutz with the stars and planets. It drives my brother nutz! He is always calling me to say, "Look out the backdoor, face this direction or that, and see this particular celestial body or that." He gets crazy when I can not see what is so obvious so lately here I just say, "Wow! I see it. Isn't that something." Keeps him calm, but I still can not see what ever he wants me to see. Chuckles. He is my only sibling, so whatever it takes....
Along time ago, I borrowed the new telescope from my son's class overnight. Oh, I was so excited! I was going to get the moon in focus and then share the whole magnificent sight with my kids at home here. Well, I fiddled with it for a while and finally found the moon! It had black spots on its glowing yellow suface. Wow, what a great job of focusing with this gadget I had done. So I have my fourt grade son look first ( it was his class I had gotten the telescope from). He peered at the 'moon' and then shook his little head in disqust. "Mom," he said, that's the street light on the next street." Hahahaha! What I thought were craters on the moon were simply dirt spots on a nearby street light. I returned the telescope the next day and left all the teaching of science to the rreal teachers from then on. hahahaha
My brother is a trucker. He loves a spot along I-80 that is the highest spot in the area. When he is there at night, he loves to see all the stuff looming over our heads. he says on a clear night there is is fantastic.
Boy, I seem to be on a real yakkety-yak sharing streak here today. Words trailing out behind me like with Hailey's Comet. (groan).
It was good to hear from you, Mike. Stay strong and keep on embracing life. It suits you. Smiles.
You live in a great country for looking at wildlife and the stars. wow - you've inspired me. i must get some binocs too. i got my son a pair for xmas (from santa) - just a little pair from the 'early learning centre'. he absolutely loves them. he even made a bird feeder at pre school ( a plastic cup filled with fat and seeds/nuts), so we've tied it to a tree in our front garden and we watch the birds through it. which is when i got this weird feeling of deja vu - life being cyclical. i remembered the fun i had with my pappa (grandfather) looking out of these old ww2 binoculars at birds in the garden. "recherche temps perdu".
I was quite a 'feral' child (due i think to problems at home) so i spent the majority of time in the 'great outdoors'. its almost unbelievable when i think back on how pragmatic i was at such an early age - i could catch fish with my hands (by tickling them under their bellies - no joke!!) i used to eat them (cooked of course) i also constructed nets to catch salmon from onion sacks. And there wasn't a bird in Scotland that i couldn't name (even from the sound of their call) There is a British film called 'Kes' - from the book 'A kestrel for a knave' - i was pretty much the main character - Billy Casper (fantastic film - don't know if it would translate that well to an American audience though - almost like a fly on the wall documentary in parts). Wow just you mentioning 'Binoculars' has opened this flood gate of memories and caused this rambling post!!! (my humblest apologies).
You'll need to post back and let me know 'what' you've seen - i'd be thrilled to hear all about it.
Stars is on my list of things to learn/read about (after 'tree's' but before 'insects')
If you keep drooling over the neighbours 4x4 - it might rust - you could probably get it for a good price then
As for the fire side chats - i know what you mean. its weird thinking that there are these people who you feel so close to - who you have shared some of the most intimate feelings/details of your life with, but you'll never ever meet!. and what a wonderful get together it would be if we all 'could' meet up. I'll bring a nice bottle of Rijoca with me - and some lollipops to keep my cigarette free hands occupied
ps - reach - im gonna reply to that wonderful post you left me, as soon as i possibly can! though i feel bath/bed are not very far from my horizon old bean so until then
pip pip & keep a stiff upper lip
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read"
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."
Last edited by Yossarian22; 02-10-2008 at 01:50 PM.
Reason: appaling grammer - must do better!
thanks for remembering about my son. Yes, we did have a nice "get together" with the school phychologist, guidance counselor, teacher, mom, dad and gramma. And Michael was invited in at the end - to recieve his goals and hear about our little plan to help him learn good behavior. Next is the appointment with THE phychologist at the Cleveland Clinic. Everybody was in agreement that we will try every option before mentioning medication. So I am happy with the way things are progressing there.
So besides the ever growning resentment with my mother, all is well here in Michelle -y land. But thats a story for another time.
So good to hear you sounding so well, so full of living !!!! I was just talking last night with my "husband" (another story) about the "old" days. Instead of going out to a nice dinner with the kids we both agreed we would have been at home, broke, hiding in the bedroom with our buddy heroin and letting the kids watch tv and tear the house apart. Really, thats what it used to be like. So we had a wonderful, grateful moment...... It really puts things into perspective, doesnt it?
So I hope all of you, each and every one, take a look at your lives and pick one thing that you are grateful for today. Because we all DO have something to be grateful for, dont we?
Thanks for being here - every single one of you. It means more to me than you know to have this wonderful place to come to and share my life. A little fireside chat would be nice.................................
im glad to hear that things are heading down the right track with your son. im sure that he'll stick to the 'goal' system and make his mum very proud
I know what you mean about the 'differences' in your life with 'Mr H' out of the picture - i hate to use the word 'normal' - especially next to the word 'behaviour' - but going for a meal is what the majority of people do with their disposable income - not spend it on opiates! So it is kind of funny when you look back on the previous life on opiates and compare it to now.
i hope you had a nice meal by the way
and as for a 'greatful moment' - i had one today. My probation officer rang me whilst at work and told me that my (suspended) sentence had been revoked . So out of a 2 year sentence, i served 11 months on a community drug order - so now i am "Free"
No more bi weekly drug screens (which have all been nice and clean for ages anyway) no more keyworker meetings, no more probation meetings. Its slowly starting to feel like i've got my life back. 11 months ago - for a brief moment in the courthouse - i thought i was going to jail.
zziiiiipppaadee dooo da
take care one and all.
Champion the wonderYoss
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."
Just a little note to report on me. I decided to go back to the Dr to get what I needed to successfully taper the way I wanted to. I feel good about my decision, and knowing I won't go backwards, just forwards. I'm at 3, (2 was too hard) and am going to taper slowly. I feel better, safer I guess knowing I have it there as back up if I need it. But overall I'm feeling great. Lost some weight, becoming more active gradually, it's like energy took a long time coming, but the more active I am, the more energy I have. Dr's right on that one. As much as it killed me to pay that Dr money, it's worth it.
Didn't know if I should post here or not but I didn't want to start a whole new thread. All of you listed here have helped me the last couple months!! Just a little follow up....still clean besides the little slip a few weeks ago. I'm finding more things everyday to fill my schedule so I have no down time to think about the pills. I joined a fitness club started working out three times a week, got my hair cut and highlighted, and went shopping. It feels amazing!!! I can't wait till this snow and freezing weather comes to an end..I'm ready for summer!!! and being able to go outside without six layers of clothes on Anyway, from the sounds of it everybodys picking up new things to do and moving on with life.......... what a great feeling!!!
Great job winnie! No need to worry about the slip--I've had a few relapses. However, each and every one got shorter and shorter in duration, and the pain of detox wasn't as bad as the first time (good or bad?). I'm opiate free now (have been for quite some time), and that is what counts.
Gatorgirl: I am glad you posted. Not being able to jump at 2 to 3 mgs might have hurt your will, but you stay strong---you sound determined. My prayers and thoughts are with you---knowing that you made the right choice. It's a long, hard road back, but you can do it.
Reach: thank you for the kind words. When you shared those thoughts about your brother??? it brought back memories of when I was clean, celebrating the glory of my marriage. My wife and I were in leisure in the back yard on a warm summer night. I asked her if she knew the constellations. She said no, but she was interested. I showed her the patterns of stars using a real bright one as a guide, and she loved it! With her piqued interest and a nice dark sky, I told her that she must see a globular star cluster. So, out came the eight inch reflector telescope, which is a real pain to set up, and I showed her the famous Hercules Globular Star Cluster. She was amazed---a huge mass of glowing diamond chips clustered together in deep sky.
Another time, it was a cold and clear night. She went with me on one of the jobs and winter nights at 5500 ft above sea level are miraculous. We pulled off on a country road---no city lights to spoil the view, and looked at the great bowl of the night sky. There were so many stars that I had a hard time finding the constellations. It made us both dizzy looking into the fire, dust and vast empty space of our galaxy--wonderful!
Yoss: like your birds, I can still name most of the constellations. Isn't it funny how different yet similar we are. I am glad that you got a flood of some good memories with the binocs. My fascination with the night sky started at about six years of age, looking at the moon and planets through Bob's telescope (our neighbor). Candy, bubble gum, and a good book with pictures of star clusters and diffuse nebulae (was heaven for this kid)---wonderful stuff!
Tat: thank you for the kind words--they mean more to me than you'll ever know.
Last edited by mk7657; 02-12-2008 at 01:11 PM.
Reason: Forgot to thank some good folks