Hi everyone. I have seemed to of developed a dependency to opiates. I can't take hydrocodones because I have to take soooo many to get high. I have been taking around 320mg of oxy cotnin's and if they're not around, methadone and saboxin (sp?). I inject the oc's and the methadones. Anyways. I have been on them for around a year now and need to get off. My friends have offered me support. They can see how it's ruining me. I can see it as well. I have a full week off from college this up coming week (from feb 16 - feb 24). Do you think this would be long enough to get passed the withdrawal? I know after the physical part there will be the mental. I quit smoking cigarettes on the fifth of february. Should I start them up again if things get to stress full or should i just go back to the opiates? I have had a previous problem with crack-cocaine. I went to rehab twice for it. Rehab this time isn't an option. Any help would greatly be appreciated. Tomorrow will be my second day clean. Today was pretty bad. Lot's of crying and all that jazz. Some minor stomach pains. Will this get worse? Wish me luck everyone! This isn't the first time i tried quiting these either. This time I'm really serious about it though.
Last edited by Spork Schivago; 02-14-2008 at 01:54 AM.
Can't seem to fall asleep at all guys. I'm starting to think this was a bad idea. I'm going to keep trying to go without taking any. Tomorrow is going to be the true test though. If I can go all day without buying any, I've made it farther than I ever have with getting off these opiates.
I'm Baja, welcome.
Today I am working on day nine clean and I feel not ill effects at all.
I did a rapid taper not a cold turkey. I went from 120 Oxy (MAX) mostly 80 per day down to zero in a little over 2 weeks.
One week was plenty of time for me after I went to zero for the major physical problems.
I am on day nine today and fell super.
I am still haveing some sleeping trouble but nothing I can't deal with.
I smoke cigs too. My Doc told me NOT to try to quit while I was doing this. Too much may send me to relapse. If you to have some poison don't choose the Opiates.
After W/D's you also have something you should look into called PAWS.
Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. I never had this problem when I got clean off booze 8 years ago and nothing yet from the oxy but take a look at it. Might help you head off another relapse.
Also NA/AA meetings help too. I just started going again myself.
Talking to the shrink is my next step.
Poke around on this board a bit. Read some of my posts.
I got double vision soooo bad I thought I had a stroke.
It is gone in the morning now but I still get a little at the end of the day.
Sleeping probs are totally normal. Look at me. I'm on nine days and I'm up at 4AM.
This was one of my good nights. I got about 6 hrs but usually if varries. sometime much, much less. sometimes it feel like none.
Try to do something that will make you tried if you can. Walk, workout, anything. It will help. It does me.
Thanks Baja. 9 days sober just seems so long away. Congradulations man. I'm only on day 2 now and I feel like I can't do it. I keep crying. I can't imagine 9 days. I will read your posts. I seem to be able to read better when I'm crying I guess. Pretty sad to see a 26, almost 27 year old man cry. I am definitely having trouble focusing my eyes. That's for sure. I keep sweating and then freezing too. I don't know if I can go cold turkey. I'm going to keep trying. As for no smoking, I have decided to start smoking cigarettes right now. Sorry. I just can't do both. I don't think I can do this. Even with everyone's help. I have friends who have tried and they couldn't make it and they got a hell of a lot more will power than me. I know i can't think like that cuz then I'll go back to using. Just even buying some saboxone off the streets would help right now. I know I have abused that in the past but I think if I only take one I would be okay. Do you suggest that at all? I asked a doctor to help but they said I'd have to go to detox and then rehab and then outpatient to get on something like that. :'( I am so scared for some reason too. I don't know why or if that's normal. I feel so alone.
Last edited by Spork Schivago; 02-14-2008 at 03:10 AM.
I know EXACTLY how you feel.
The worst of my W/D's were gone by day 3 or 4 then started getting berrer real fast.
I too felt alone. I cried for no reason. Worried about everything!
It is the W/D's buddy. This is where I had to dig REAL deeeeep. I refused to slip back and is has been well worth it.
If you feel like crap and can't move, that's normal. Happened to me too. Watch some TV. Funny movies helped me out.
Also TV shows like COPS helped. Kinda like being in an AA/NA meeting in your home. When I saw someone worse off that me when I was just in W/D's it somehow made me feel better.
Hot shower or bath does wonders too.
Read the "sample home detox" thread at the top of this board.
You gotta eat. I couldn't myself. no matter what. I was sick and just puked it back up.
Even if you can't sleep just try to rest. Your body has gotta heal up and it takes time.
Believe it or not you are on the way down from your W/D's already being clean for 2 days. It might not feel like it but you are.
Remember one thing.
There is a road into hell and there is also a road out. Your lucky and found the road out so don't stop for a **** break or worse make any U turns. Just keep on keepin on.
Hang tough and dig deep, real deeeep for me. I just refused to stop digging.
It felt like I had the worse flu ever. Aches in muscles and bones. Real loose stool, vommiting, you name it. Just plain OUCH!!
Try to take some vitamins too. It will help. Drink lots of water and try to stay away from caffeine. The caffeine just made it worse for me. I would drink the DEW to give me energy but I would get anxiety. When I started eating I got the energy and now can't even drink one DEW without zinging big time.
Think of it like the flu. The flu goes away and so does the W/D's
It is fresh in my mind at only into day 9 for me so I can really relate to how you feel.
spork, my son is almost 22 and like you an opiate ADDICT. along with benzos. he went thru an inpatient rehab a year agao was clean for months than went back...this is not just about stopping the drugs you need much more than that..you need to be detoxed on your own or medically and some sort of program and meetings..even with all that its going to be a rough ride.
By listening to you, it seems this is going to be hard for you to do by yourself, forget about your friends tho,im sure if you told them you needed something that would help you in that way...thats wrong! Not good..
you said you tried suboxone..is that an option for you? to go on it the correct way? maybe that can be a start..
I was part of the bad a-- Navy and opiates made me cry for my mama. Boot camp was a cake walk. WAR (WAR?!) was a cake walk. Etc etc. I kid you not.
A tiny yellow pill owned my soul.
Here are a few things I think might help you - my situation is/was a little different.
a. READ READ READ these posts. Read everyone, back to whenever it started. If you run out on this board, wait 2 minutes --- someone will post something new! You'll start to feel your line of reasoning changing from finding the message boards that tell you how to get high more efficiently...to these boards that focus on finding that 27 year old who can function in the real world without pulling out all his clothes from the dresser, hoping there really is one more Oxy hiding in there.
b. After you keep your mind busy...get your body busy....Baja is right -- find a physical activity and DO IT ...if you're at your college right now, I've got to believe there's a pool. Even if you don't swim, get a kickboard and just start doing laps. The act of completing ANYTHING positive can do wonders for your psyche. If you hate the water....measure out 1/2 mile and walk it. Get your iPod/music out and listen to music/podcasts that make you move forward.
c. Read the sample home detox on this board --- I stress the vitamins, exercise and hot soaks. They help.
But that big muscle between your ears --- that's the one I know can be the hardest to handle. You can do it. Stay close to this board.
PS - I went to college in NY. I survived the winter there, too!
When I asked both doctors treated me like I was scum and said that they're not that kind of doctor and if I want something like that I have to go threw rehab. I told them I had already been threw rehab twice before for another substance. I asked a male doctor and a female. I asked the male doctor the other night because I knew this was going to be a rough road. Just didn't know how rough. He said if I couldn't do the rehab thing then to just cut the dose by 25% each night. That isn't going to work. And neither is this cold turkey thing. I have been going threw living hell. I have tried to stay busy all day. I can't sleep. I took cold medicine, a normal dose, that used to knock me out cold. It doesn't even make me even a little tired. This is really bad. I'm not going to make it threw today. I'm sorry. I know going to the streets to get stuff isn't a good idea. It's either that or go back to oc's though. I can't do it cold turkey. I want to stay away from injecting stuff. I threw out my rigs in a dumpster. Broke the needles and put them in a tuberware container. I have to try something new. The sub's aren't around that often and it will probably be hard getting them today. I can get the non-injectible kind of oxy's. Should I try that and try weening myself off of it? I might be able to get some xanax but that's looking slim. I had a friend give me a lanesta. Will this help me sleep or is it just a waste of time? Should I try to avoid the oc's all together because that's what got me into this mess and that's my drug of choice? I can get hydro 10/325's. I would have enough to take 20 a night for 10 nights. Right now, even though I've been clean for two days, I don't think I'd feel much of a buzz from 20 of them but it'd be enough to get me to a safer distance in time from these oc's, right? If I go that route, how should I decrease them? What should i do??? Please help! I NEED to get away from this stuff. I can't get back into it. This is the longest I have gone in a long time and it's killing me. Getting back into it fully right now would be soooo stupid. PLEASE HELP! My hands are shaking too. Is that normal? I read about buying medicine in the home detox thread but I'm afraid of spending all this cash on different vitamins and finding out I can't make it and then not having that cash to buy opiates. I know it's stupid and wrong to think like that but right now I can't help it. I have tried walking, even though it's freezing out. I went up to my moms. She thinks i'm sick. I've been playing the flue route. I'm not throwing up but my stomach is killing me and it's hurting more and more. I took a shower up there. That was nice. But it didn't feel right. I don't feel right at all for some reason. I feel weird. Maybe this is soberity? I hope not. I am going over to a friends work. She is the only one there. She runs the shop by herself. She's going to give me support until my dentists appointment at 3pm. After that, I will come back and read if anyone wrote anything. And if they haven't, I am afraid that I'm going to go buy something. I don't know what yet. I just know from past experiences that it's probably going to be the wrong stuff. The person I'm going to see....she can administer what ever you guys suggest to me....she only smokes weed and wants to see me get cleaned as much as I do. This is just so hard. I knew it was really bad when I got into it but I thought I could handle it and now look where I am? My whole life ruled by a damn pill. For you guys that made it, you have unimaginable will power. I've been going to family partictioners. Should I try a different type of doctor for the sabaxon's? If I take one, I don't get high but for some reason I don't want any opiates. I don't know why. Other people I know take them to get high. They don't do anything for me but make me feel normal. This sucks. I'm sorry guys.
Spork, young friend, it is obvious you are in a torment right now and need some help. Buddy, it is not will power alone that helps us through this. Your body and brain are traumatized currnetly from the abrupt stopping of the opiate and I am sure it is hard to think staright right now.
It seems you have jumped into detox. That is not always the best course of action in my mind. better to have a plan set out for detox and aftercare.
If you are going to stick to what you are doing, I would suggest getting to an ER room and spillling the guts. Get some immediate help.
If you think that Suboxone is the route for you, then you must contact a doctor's office that deals with Suboxone. They have special training that allows them to prescibe it. My understanding is that you need to be in a state of withdrawal for a minimum of 12 hours before it can be administered.
Spork, stay off the streets. It is not the way to go. Not at all. You are risking your very life doing that and it is not a path to sobriety.
For me, I think the conclusion that I was going to do whatever it took, for however long, to get off the pills and get my life back. If time off from school is needed, then so be it. Your life is far more important and must be the priority. We can not let anything... not school or work or relationships, stand in the way as an excuse. All those things will be waiting to work on once we have gotten clean and sober. If you need rehab again ( which I truly believe you do) then do it. If a month in rehab can help you get your life back on track, it must be the priority. Who cares if you have been before? Who cares???? When we are talking our very life, who cares? We do what we have to do, Buddy.
My own path to healing meant retiring from a 20 year job, it meant financial hardship for my husband and me, it meant a lot of things, but most of all it meant my life. Without my life, what else would I have had a chance to make better? Nada. Jack.
Right now, the priority is you and your life. Take the steps necessary, no matter what conflict they seem to cause, and get proactive in Saving Spork.
Not all doctors prescribe suboxone; they have to be trained. If you search the internet for suboxone doctors in your area, you will most likely find one, but you may have to wait for an appointment. I found three of them in our area, and one would take me on a monday (addiction doctor). But I think that I was lucky. I changed my mind and cancelled the appointment because I felt like I was having a pity party and didn't want to be addicted to another opiate. But, YOU need to do what is right for you at this time. If you are injecting OC, then it will be even harder for you. I was a "pill popper," and never got into the needle scene.
I'm surprised that there isn't a doctor who will at least put you on a maintenance dose of opiates until you find your sub doc. My doctor put me on a maintenance dose until I could find a bed in rehab, but I rode the opiate detox horse out at home. It was HELL, just like your feeling now, and I didn't think it was going to end without my death. But, my friend, IT DOES END.
My wife almost filed for a divorce when she saw me in that condition.
I had every withdrawal symptom in the book, the shakes being the worse. I couldn't put a spoon to my face without spilling food all over the floor--it was pitiful. You learn an important lesson after all this Hell---these drugs are very dangerous. However, hang in there, friend, you CAN do it.
Don't go back to the dealer to get more drugs--it is obvious that you can't control this demon. Go to another doctor and spill your guts out so that he can help you. It will still be hard, but will pay dividends for years to come.
Oh, sorry reach. I guess we posted at almost the same time. Listen to reach, Spork, she is very wise.