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Old 02-18-2008, 04:08 PM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 6
joe73 HB User
I hurt wife

by my stupid actions with my pain medication experience the other day and she is going to talk to a counselor now. I guess I messed up big time by being an idiot and she said it will take time to trust me again and for her to heal. I feel like a Rat now with taking someone elses pain med who needs it for what it was intended to be used for. I liked the euphoric feeling I got but hated the damn tiredness that followed later on. It's been a couple of days now and I feel like I'm dragging in work and was even asked by friends and co-workers what's wrong. I guess it will take time for both of us but I just miss the laughter that we used to have and it feels tense around the house and if anybody can learn from this I would say learn by my mistake. I have a great marriage and wife who feels deeply hurt by my being a goof.

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Old 02-18-2008, 05:55 PM   #2
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 308
bajaboats HB User
Re: I hurt wife

Hey Joe,
I know exactly how you feel. Read some of my posts bud.

I have let my wife of 20+ years down twice now and I admitted the second time and she didn't even know I had a problem.

Time and sobriety will heal thing (Hopefully). I had my Doc talk to my wife to help her understand the disease of addiction and if seems to have help a ton. Lots of butt kissing and being super sweet and above all, sobriety.

Things have settled down for me and my wife but I didn't get caught like you. I admitted to my problem and still got in a ton of S*IT.

I'm just going to pray and kiss butt and stay sober and clean.

Only God knows what will happen.

Be patient, Time heals all wounds bud.


Old 02-18-2008, 07:49 PM   #3
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 6
joe73 HB User
Re: I hurt wife

Thanks BAJA,

I guess it will take time buddy!


Old 02-18-2008, 07:53 PM   #4
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 6
joe73 HB User

How is your situation coming along. I think it's great 14 days now for you!

Old 02-19-2008, 03:17 AM   #5
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 308
bajaboats HB User

Mornin Joe.

I feel excellent. I am working on day 14 today.

I have no symtoms of W/D's anymore and no signs of the PAWS either.

I can't believe it is 2 weeks clean for me.

My wife has her moments but for the most part she is O.K.
We talk quite a bit and she understands that united we stand and divided we fall.

We are as the very least on the same page which is a huge relief for me. I think when I had my Doc talk to her it made a big difference. He helped he understand better than I could.

I honestly believe I'm going to be O.K.
It really feel good to have hope again. Makes me smile.

Hang in there Joe. If she is worth fighting for then fight for your life bud. Thats what I'm doing.

Being clean is paramount to regaining her trust. It's like we have to prove to them we love then all over again. You remember the chase to get her the first time. Well here goes round two.

Time does heal all wounds And again sobriety.


Last edited by bajaboats; 02-19-2008 at 03:25 AM.

Old 02-20-2008, 10:45 AM   #6
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 205
mannie8 HB User
Re: I hurt wife

Just thought I'd chime in since I'm on the flip side of a similar situation:
I know how your wife must have felt when she found out. I'm sure she was deeply hurt, wondering who you really are, confused, betrayed, and disappointed. But she also has deep love for you which led her to seek counseling and try to support you. Good for her!

My boyfriend swore up and down he would never choose drugs over me. Well he did, and I had to find out by accidentally finding his stash, and I was so hurt by it. I can't trust him now. He was leading me on like he quit which makes things worse because that tells me he's comfortable lying to me in order to keep drugs in his life. For me it's not just about the drugs, it's about his character, it's about who he is and how he makes decisions and his priorities. What he's willing to risk in order to stay high. It's scary for us women when we depend on guys and they go and risk everything just to escape reality for a little while or for whatever the reason is. At least that's my view. I have never gone beyond alcohol so I can't say I understand the addiction side of it. But women like stability and dependability. When things like this happen we are upset, then try to understand because we love you men too damn much, eventually come around, and forgive and forget. But there will come a time, IF it happens again and again, that it's just too much to repeatedly get hurt and we will leave.

Always think of this as your last chance to keep your wife. When you make the conscious decision to do drugs, you are making the conscious decision of losing her and everything you care about. Just think to yourself next time you get an urge, is it worth it??!!

Hope this helped shed some light from the flip side.

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