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Old 04-26-2008, 07:01 PM   #1
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Day two on Suboxone...I feel ashamed to feel this good?!

Well..yesterday was my first day with the Sub Dr. Very tight protocols they use, which is good of course, but I was about 42 hours into my withdrawals and feeling pretty puny, my first dose was a half of an 8mg. and within 20 min I felt better, then in another half hour they gave me the other half. Felt much better, then about 2 hours later they have me another half. I felt as if I were my old self again, no..not the druggie high, but me with a clear head..does that make sense? Any ways, my dose is 8mg three times a day which I have done, but honestly, it kept me awake all night, and this ol gal has to get up at 4am on my work days, so I think I will cut it back..Dr. tells me to stay with what he says because my receptors need to think like there getting the opiates and it takes 3-6 months? Does this sound logical?!?! I have to admit, I do feel guilty in a way..in a weird sort of way, because the way I am thinking, I'm still using, just the legal way now. Any advice? Feelings? Thoughts?

PS..Big hugs Jerry!! You hit a rock and went right through it..didnt you

 
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Old 04-27-2008, 02:25 PM   #2
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Re: Day two on Suboxone...I feel ashamed to feel this good?!

Hi Vickyc!

It's so great that you've taken this step to get your life back! You shouldn't feel bad about feeling better, though! Everyone has their own road to recovery. If this is the one that works for you, then it's time to celebrate!

You've just started on the sub...I don't have any experience with it, but I think that you should relax for a little while...and then have another talk about the timespan that the doctor suggested with him. Did the doctor mention that you might experience some sleeplessness? If not, perhaps you could call him/her and have a talk on the phone about adjusting the dosage?

I wish you nothing but the best! You've taken a huge step in your recovery!! YOU ROCK!!

love, peace and understanding

Dream...
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Old 04-27-2008, 02:35 PM   #3
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Re: Day two on Suboxone...I feel ashamed to feel this good?!

hey vicky,

dont feel guilty - you're on the right path - and theres no shame in that! i hope the sub settles down in your system soon and you manage a bit more sleep. keep us posted as to how its going tho - im sure there are a lot of people reading this who are thinking of trying out Subs - you can share that knowledge/experience with them all.

i hope it all goes well. and again - a big pat on the back for a job well done.

take care

yoss

keep on keepin on
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"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."

 
Old 04-27-2008, 06:45 PM   #4
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Re: Day two on Suboxone...I feel ashamed to feel this good?!

Thanks Yoss..and Dream for the support, cant tell you how much your words mean to me!! *hugs* I think I may have been given a stronger dose than needed because I still get "euphoric" feeling, Bad thing is when I check my motives about taking them, I cant wait to take the next dose... Not good! I am off tomorrow, so I think I am going to cut it to two pills a day instead of three and take my last dose at least 4-5 hours before sleep time..see what happens. Still have this huge huge guilt thing going about using the sub, but then I think..shoot, if I wasnt on the sub..I would be doing some serious partying tonight. I sound screwed up because...I am right now! Love and peace..Vic

 
Old 04-28-2008, 01:09 AM   #5
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Re: Day two on Suboxone...I feel ashamed to feel this good?!

hey vicky,

hows it going? i know the feeling of guilt due to taking meds, its a weird feeling. but what you have to realise is that you are taking them for a reason. And that reason is the best reason in the world - 'sobriety'. You're heading for a whole new life - but you have to take the sub & taper off to get there. The euphoria of the sub you are taking may just be a transitionary affect and it may fade quickly over the coming days. Tell your Dr & explain to him your fears etc. He may have put you on a higher dosage than is necessary.

And another thing - you didnt party for a reason. this is good.

And you're not screwed up at the moment - you are slowly changing back to being human. it takes a while - but hell, its worth it. Try not to be so hard on yourself - you're doing the best thing you can for yourself (and others)

take care - and remember - "its just a ride"

yoss

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"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."

 
Old 04-28-2008, 05:09 AM   #6
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Re: Day two on Suboxone...I feel ashamed to feel this good?!

Vicky,I agree w/ Yoss.
You cant feel guilty about using the sub. You're using it for a very different reason than when you were using pills in general. Talk to the doc about the euphoric feeling. maybe he will cut the dose down. Might not hurt. I guess the reason that you're using the sub is to avoid the withdrawls,and wean yourself off in a proper way,whereas the Ct just didnt work.

*hugs*

jerry.

 
Old 04-28-2008, 07:46 AM   #7
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dreamingoutloud HB User
Re: Day two on Suboxone...I feel ashamed to feel this good?!

Hi there Vicky!

How are you feeling today? I know that you're feeling guilty about the euphoric feelings that you've been having from the sub, but like Yossarian said, it might just be a transitory effect until your body gets used to it. I would call your doctor if you have any more concerns...

I hope that you're doing well today...I hope that you could look at the sub as your first step down from using narcotics and not feel so bad about not being able to stop ct or by tapering. Everyone has to find their own way out of the darkness of addiction...there's not one "script" for everyone. I stepped down from percocet to tylenol with codeine, and then slowly stepped down from that..I found my own way and this way is yours! It's amazing that you're off narcotics, Vicky! I wish that you could just relax...you're on the way out...you are a miracle!!

I'm off to work....in the rain (boo-hoo for me! LOL)...

Have a blessed day...

Love, peace, understanding and big hugs

Dream...
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Old 04-28-2008, 08:15 AM   #8
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Re: Day two on Suboxone...I feel ashamed to feel this good?!

Good morning everyone.. *yawn and big hugs* Those subs..grrrrr..... Took my last pill of the day at 6p yesterday and was up all night, I pulled another all nighter, could sleep and felt just like when I was using, so what does this tell me.. Cut the dose! I got out of bed today around 8a which is super early for me on my days off and slept maybe 2 hours and it was one of those party sleeps, know what I mean?! So this morning I only took 1/2 a pill (4mg) and will TRY to only use a total of 12 mg verses the 24 that was RX'ed. So far I feel pretty darn good! Still gives me a slight buzz though, I know my body is trying to adjust to it, but I dont want it to or it will get used to what ever I am feeding it..right?! Today is day 4 on the subs. I read somewhere here where someone wrote that if you start subs, taper off of them quick or your body does get used to it..makes a heck of alot of sense. Yoss and Jerry, I know I have to stop being so hard on myself, but I think its that attitude that will get me off the subs faster..Ya think, I cant rely to much on what I say and think sometimes, after all it was my thinking that got me here today!

Hope everyone here has a great day... I know I am with using words like darn and heck...cant go wrong!

Love and peace...Vic~

 
Old 04-28-2008, 01:49 PM   #9
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Re: Day two on Suboxone...I feel ashamed to feel this good?!

Vicky,hon,I am glad to see that you want off of the sub,but listen...
Cold turkey just didnt work for you. It obvoiusly isnt for everyone. So now you are on sub,but you need a plan for the taper...dont just keep cutting down...maybe write it down so it makes more sense...when you have something on paper in front of you you can see more structure...I am just afraid if you do it too fast...you know what I mean.
Enuff said.
I am so proud of you making the step you needed to take to fight the beast. Kick his ***. I know you can do it, I hear it in your tone.

Be strong,girl.*smile*

*great big 'ol warm hugs*

luv and peas,
jerry.

 
Old 04-28-2008, 09:36 PM   #10
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mogj3222 HB User
Re: Day two on Suboxone...I feel ashamed to feel this good?!

Hey everyone, i am new to this board but sorry to say not at all new to addiction or withdrawl. Vicky, just really want to let you know that your doctor has no idea what he is talking about. The reason you are having problems sleeping and feeling euphoric feelings is because the mg you are on is WAY too high and not needed. The pill, Suboxone, is so strong that a 1/4 of one pill should last you atleast 48 hrs. Seriously, I am a hard core heroin addict, and trust me you need to cut down right now, or your withdrawl from the suboxone will be hell on earth whenever you decide to finally get completely clean. Right now I am trying to quit heroin for the 100th time, and am at 48hrs, and the way I detox which has really worked to kill most of my the withdrawl symptoms is I take 1/2 a suboxone on day 2 and then a 1/4 on day 3 and feel almost no pain. Anyway just really wanted to give you a heads up, but congrats on deciding to get clean, and good luck im pullin for ya.

 
Old 04-28-2008, 11:20 PM   #11
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dreamingoutloud HB User
Re: Day two on Suboxone...I feel ashamed to feel this good?!

Hi Vicky--

How are you feeling this morning? Were you able to get any sleep? I hope that you're feeling better today...

About cutting down your dosage...I think that it's ok to have concerns, but I also think that it's best to speak to your doctor before cutting down...I know that you want to get off quickly...and maybe if you tell him about your concerns and side effects (uphoria and sleeplessness) then he'll agree with you...but i'd at least try and talk with him about it...couldn't hurt to see what he says, right?

You've been in my thoughts and prayers and will continue to do so! You rock, sista friend!!

Love, peace, understanding and big hugs

Dream...
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Last edited by dreamingoutloud; 04-28-2008 at 11:21 PM.

 
Old 04-29-2008, 01:31 AM   #12
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Re: Day two on Suboxone...I feel ashamed to feel this good?!

vicky - just a quick note. Dont cut down on any meds without seeing/speaking to your Dr first - you know it makes sense. the only way to do a taper is 'by the book'. I agree that you may be on too high a dose - but you have to explain this to him & get his point of view - there are too many factors involved to just take the decision on your own. make the appointment/call.

and hang in there -you're doing great!

take care - go to go, im late for work.

yoss

keep on keepin on
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Old 04-29-2008, 07:42 AM   #13
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Re: Day two on Suboxone...I feel ashamed to feel this good?!

Morning everyone *smiles* Yoss and Dream...I was naughty and cut my dose yesterday by half a pill, and I will call my dr to let him know what is going on, which is A) insomnia B) nausea C) Sometimes I get orthostatic (dizzy when I stand up to fast) D) Zero appetite and losing way to much weight, I am only 5'2 and was 115 now I am about 110, which is way to much loss. E) still get high when I take the pills...But again, will call Dr today and let him know I need and have cut my dose. I did take my first pill today, I usually take a whole pill in the am then I take 1/2 pill of my dose in divided doses thru the day.

Hi Joel, I have been reading alot and find the most things I have read is exactly what you say. I was using 16-20 mg of dilaudid a day, not to compare but I have read many herion addicts and people who where taking like a bazillion mg of oxys and others who started on either 8 or 16 a day! Long story short, I was feeling really guilty about starting Subs, but couldnt do it CT. But YOSS, this is for you..I am accepting the fact that it is a heck of alot better to be on Subs that using pills that were illegal and was out of control...just takes me awhile to sink in with my hard head *smiles* Joel, way to go with your 48 hour, I know it sucks, and it doesnt matter how many times you fall, it is if you stand back up..and you are honey!! Thanks so much for your post and hope to hear back from you! So many wise people here..so many new friends!

I still wont call myself clean until I am off all and everything...

Love and Peace..or as Jerry says.."Luv and Peas" (he is so silly) Vicky~

 
Old 04-29-2008, 08:58 AM   #14
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Re: Day two on Suboxone...I feel ashamed to feel this good?!

Hi Vicky--

It's sounds like you're in really good spirits and in a great place today!! Yay!!

I think it's alright that you cut down your meds, as long as you tell your doctor about it...it's great that you're going to make that call...

It took a long to time to get to the place where we ask for help, or decide to get clean...so it's going to take a little while to get to exactly where you want to be in your sobriety...I think that you're making a fantastic effort! If I could do cartwheels i'd be doin' them for ya sis! LOL!

I've got to get to work...but i'm looking forward to hearing how your day went and what the doctor had to say when I get back home later on tonight or should I say early tomorrow morning...working the stupid late shift!! *cries*

Ok...gotta run!

Have a blessed day...and remember...you rock!!!

Love, peace, understanding and big hugs...

Dream...
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