A couple of suggestions if I may:
There are ONLINE
AA/NA meetings. Just do a search for them. You will be totally anon that way. Please don't use a rural area/small town as an "excuse" for not going. You will be surprised just how many people you may know there if it is truely a rural setting. I live in a very small area, and have been going to AA with my friend (at first for support, and just to get her there b/c she was killing herself, she just got her one year chip!
). You will see Doctors, Lawyers, and everything in between. They really take the privacy thing and the "anonymous" part VERY
seriously. I was so shocked to see so many "successful" folks there. But if you need to worry about that "small town" thing for whatever reason, then please don't put off joining an ONLINE NA/AA group. NO
EXCUSE to not join one of those whatsoever!!
Though I don't suffer with addiction, this addiction thing is not new to me. My brother, whose birthday was Friday, died in 1985 of Chirrosis of the Liver. He only ever
drank beer, and though he put himself into 4 different comas that the docs said on each one he'd never live through, he never really (HELLO) saw himself as having a problem. My point to this is....They really DO
take the "anon
" aspect of AA SERIOUS!!
At the meetings I've gone to it was always said, "what you see and hear in this room STAYS
in this room". I also get a lot of support from this board. (I don't chime in much though).
The other thing I want to address was the point that Ex made. She's right. One of the classes I teach (college) is anatomy and physiology of the Hearing Mechanism (the ear) and through that, we study the nasal cavity. IF you were to "burn" a hole all the way through the cartlidge of the nose from snorting, you are opening up a far more serious problem and risk of a FATAL infection. By the time you would catch or know about the infection, it perhaps could be too late.
You say in that you've tried to "cut back" on the snorting.....well, here's a wake up call for you... IF
you don't STOP
the snorting now, I'm afraid you will have no other option but to seek a doctors help in getting it surgically repaired (and there goes your anonimity) or WORSE
, you will DIE
from a brain infection.
menmybooboo, I don't say these things to be HARSH or MEAN or JUDGEMENTAL, NOR TO SCARE YOU
, I say them to let you see the side of addiction I've lived. Where I've lost someone I've loved due to alcohol first (my brother), and second, my best friend in the not too distant past.
Please see your physician, ASAP, and lay it all out, and ask for help. You will be surprised how empathetic and understanding and caring they can be. They can help you develop a taper to get off of the pills.
Whatever you do decide, please know that I've added you to my "special prayers" list. Good luck, I hope things go well for you in whatever it is that you decide to do. We are ALL on your side.