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Old 05-12-2008, 06:35 PM   #1
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Starting over

Since the age of 17 (23 now) hard times were in my life and they were the fault of everyone else or so i thought. Im addicted to opiates. I got into some legal trouble and was in jail for 12 days in result of using herion/oxycottin. It was the most difficult time of my life suffering from withdraws, anxiety, depression you name it. Now that I am out I will have 2.5 years of probation and regular check- ups to my P.O which im yet to get assigned to until wendsday.

I am powerless over my addiction and decided for myself to enroll in a treatment facility called narconon in Nevada for 3-6 months( i am still waiting to get approved by my p.o Hopefully she will approve of me going out of state for treatment) Its taken me a loss of unbelieveable measures and even then i was easily diverted, to destruction and drugs. I need help rebuilding my life to be the best man i can be and learn the skills vital to my well being that i have lacked in the past which impaired my ability to be a productive member of society. One of the main reasons i used was my inability to confront people. Just remember Drugs/alcohol equals NO FUTURE, which only results in institutions, jail, and death. Nothing to me is more important to my sobriety. I have no other choice but to stay clean and out of trouble. So far I have 15 days sober and eagirly waiting to go to rehab and get back the life ive always wanted...without using drugs

 
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Old 05-12-2008, 07:19 PM   #2
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Re: Starting over

My very best to you. You are well on your way. 15 days clean, and now work on how to combat cravings.

I don't suppose you will have internet access where you are going, but if you do, or after you are done, keep visiting this site. Many wonderful people on here who are, or have been, where you are.

Get your life back, and enjoy a great life!

Friend999

 
Old 05-13-2008, 02:06 AM   #3
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Re: Starting over

Keep thinking good thoughts.
It only gets better.

Good luck,keep up the good work.

"let there be songs to fill the air."

peace,and God bless.

jerry.

 
Old 05-13-2008, 03:08 AM   #4
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Re: Starting over

Hello R,

It is good news to hear that you are now 16 days clean.

Addiction can take us through "maze-like" adventures, if we allow it to.

The mere fact that you have admitted being powerless speaks volumes.

I hope that you receive permission to attend the treatment facility but in the event that this does not become a reality, please take into account that there are many good treatment facilities out there (I only say this because it is always good to have another option, in the event that your first choice is not accepted).

Stay focused and keep posting.

Take care.

Phoenix

Last edited by Phoenix; 05-13-2008 at 09:39 AM.

 
Old 05-13-2008, 09:18 AM   #5
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Re: Starting over

Ry, Congrats on your 15 days clean ! I know this is very hard for you. I too am a heroin addict. This is my first time clean in well over 2 years. You will face many hurdles along your way,however if you think about what you did to score dope etc.. it makes those hurdles seem small. You can do this. Keep your head up and your feet planted. Post here often..keep us updated.

Peace Love and Skittles
Have a Grateful Day

 
Old 05-13-2008, 11:25 AM   #6
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Re: Starting over

Hey R

15 days is great news! And you will get your life back - day at a time. Its a great feeling. i also had legal trouble - the threat of long term prison etc. i HAD to do it.
6 months on, i wonder why i didnt do it sooner. i wish you all the very best.

take care

yoss

keep on keepin on
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Old 05-14-2008, 06:56 PM   #7
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Re: Starting over

Today I had an orientation so that i would get assigned a p.o. I said to her that I was enrolled in an out of state treatment facility. She didnt approve of it, suggesting she would get me into a rehab here in state. I was really comfortable about going to this place in Nevada having talked to the addmissions counselor about the ciriculum there and that it has an 80% success rate. She has been calling me just about everyday since i got out of jail about a week ago to see how im doing as far as my addiction is concerned and we talk for awhile forming a good bond.

I live in Anchorage, Alaska and there arent really any great facilities. Ive looked around here in town all having about 3 month waiting periods and I explained that to my p.o. "well we can fit you in some place dont worry" she says. Now when the counselor calls back ill have to tell her the bad news or maybe i could have her call my p.o. i just dont know! That really bummed me out for the day. My drivers liscense revoked so its hard to go to na meetings and i have no friends that could take me who dont use. All I have are my parents who are helping me tremendously but they are not here for me all the time due to work. They are worried sick about me.

I went for a walk today, trying to erase those negative feelings I get when im down. Doing anything I can not to use. I was a heavy pot smoker, modest drinker and herion/oxy Addict! pretty much since I was 17 with a few failed detoxes here n there. I have been clean and sober since April 28th

Am I just setting myself up for failure stopping all this at once going cold turkey from everything? I will continue to post and share my progress with everyone.

 
Old 05-14-2008, 08:46 PM   #8
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Re: Starting over

hey man, im bout to kick my methadone habbit at a rdc. you are a real inspiration, just wanted to let u know that. keep ur head up and never forget the pain of addiction and the loss of worth u will enevitably feel while using. best of luck!

dg

 
Old 05-15-2008, 02:02 AM   #9
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Re: Starting over

Hello R,

I would hold your P.O. to every word she says.

If she can pull some strings that will get you into a facility sooner, all the better.

Keep us posted and take care.

Phoenix

 
Old 05-15-2008, 03:20 AM   #10
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Re: Starting over

Ryan, good morning. Hope today finds you well.
I'm in the same boat about not really having any meetings close by, so I come here. Hope you continue to do the same. This place can and will help you much.
Read alot of posts. Post alot about whats in your head.

Good luck, keep posting.

peace,and God bless.

jerry.

"may the 4 winds blow you safely home"

 
Old 05-17-2008, 12:38 PM   #11
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Re: Starting over

AVOID NARCONON!! its NOT and accredited facility. PLEASE look into it further as I cannot talk about it here.. PLease heed my warning.

 
Old 05-29-2008, 12:20 AM   #12
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Talking Re: Starting over

Hello,

Its been awhile since I last posted but im pleased to say im 30 days clean. I did it! Ive gone through those terrible w/d symptoms cold turkey no methadone or sub. Just sheer will and determination. I think i hold the record with the most detoxes...maybe not but i have quite a few unsuccesful ones that im not proud of. This makes it the longest ive gone without any mind alterting substance for at least 8 years since i first starting smoking pot at the age of 14. This will be the last!! I must say theres not a day that goes by that I dont think about getting high, i hope that doesn't discourage anybody who are just now quiting. It seems everyday if not every other day I dream of certain instantces of using! I hate it! I still find it much different confronting people sober as I was always high on oxy's or herion when dealing with those kind of issues. THe drugs made me open up alot more to people and feel chatty. I still have no friends that are sober. It gets depressing. Keeping my mind busy is the best thing for me washing cars, going for hikes, watching movies, reading, listening to music. Tomorrow ill take the bus to get a physical so I start my in-patient rehab. wish me luck

 
Old 05-29-2008, 02:35 AM   #13
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Re: Starting over

Hey Ryan

Great to hear that 30 days of successful clean time is yours! Terrific!

I wish you all good things as you take your physical and get ready for inpatient. So much life awaits you in the years ahead. There is every reason to fulfill your dream of living them sober and happy. God bless you and be with you every step of your way. Rooting for you and waiting to hear from you when you return.

God Bless
reach

 
Old 05-29-2008, 11:54 AM   #14
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Re: Starting over

Ryan, congrats.

I did it the same way, cold turkey, when I was already sick with a fever...no fun but I knew I was going to be home from work with the flu already so I just figured I'd double my torment...*lol*

Seriously,tho, you sound good. Your words sound positive. I still think about getting high, but as the time goes by the urges are definetly getting less and less.

I dont have many sober friends, either. I come here. I hang with my family. Thats good enough for me right now...I dont need the friends that I had when I was using heavy. None of us do. Puts us in bad situations. Way too much work and effort to be put into those situations.

Take care. Stay clean. Youre doing great.

peace.

jerry.

 
Old 05-29-2008, 04:28 PM   #15
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Re: Starting over

Hello R,

You do what is necessary and remember that we are in your corner.
Come here anytime you need; you are part of our ever-growing family.

Take care of yourself.

Respectfully,

Phoenix

 
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