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Old 05-13-2008, 02:23 PM   #1
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Bend, Oregon
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Lindsabins HB User
Unhappy Bad bad day for me today

Hi everyone, I am glad to say I have been clean for 1 month and I am so happy for that. Here is the bad part, I got an email from an abusive ex of mine and wow did it make me want oto use again just to forget all that he brought back to my mind. Just seeing his name made me sick and want to use. Well if you read this far thank you. I guess I am just venting... Lindsay

 
Old 05-13-2008, 03:32 PM   #2
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Yossarian22 HB User
Re: Bad bad day for me today

hey lindsay,
Clean for 1 month - thats brilliant news - far better than crappy news from an ex! Addiction does funny things to the mind - it uses situations to try and worm its way back in, hence why u felt like using. The urge to use whenever you feel stressed/down gets weaker & weaker with each day as you get better & healthier. Just try and ride out the craving and carry on with your new life - you've come a long way - & im guessing that HE (the ex) isnt worth throwing it all away for?

take care - keep us posted

yoss

keep on keepin on
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Old 05-13-2008, 05:57 PM   #3
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zonie HB User
Re: Bad bad day for me today

Yoss is Right! Good job for picking up the mouse and keypad over a drink or drug!
Why not go to a meeting? That always got me through during my first year. I always STILL hear just what I need. GOOD LUCK... and remember, picking up would be allowing this person to STILL have control over your life. Take back your own power.
Z~

 
Old 05-13-2008, 06:21 PM   #4
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Washington, DC USA
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DroopyEyes HB User
Re: Bad bad day for me today

Wanna drive abusive Ex up the wall?

Change your email address.

It seems you and I are in the same place in sobriety and struggling...and well, I read your post and am proud of you. You're never alone, think of all the people you inspire who can not imagine a MONTH clean.

 
Old 05-14-2008, 04:10 AM   #5
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jerry111165a HB User
Re: Bad bad day for me today

Linds...*smile*

luved Yoss's reply about ex not worth throwing it all away for...NOBODY is worth throwing away what you have accomplished...and that is so,so much...you should be SO proud of yourself. Quitting drugs must be one of the hardest things that we,as addicts have to do and face in our lifetime, and you have done it...Just think about how hard it was to do....the wd's, the rls, that first week or two of hell that you put yourself thru to finally get away from your demon.
I'm not a stereotype role model by any means. Maybe I'm not the one to give advice to ANYONE, as I just dont have the best track record over the course of my life,but I've been watching your progress and you are just doing so well,we are all so proud of you here. Its also people like you who have that month,or 2 months or whatever amount of time clean that I look at, and it helps ME stay clean.

You need to be proud of yourself for not picking up. My own demons try and give me any excuse in the book to use...is so hard sometimes.

Keep on fighting the good fight.Be proud of your major accomplishment.
Be vigilant. Theres a demon around every corner trying to get us to use.

"Well the first days are the hardest days; dont you worry anymore.
But when life looks like easy street there is danger at our door"

peace, and God bless.
jerry.

 
Old 05-14-2008, 07:05 AM   #6
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Brooklyn NY USA
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dreamingoutloud HB User
Re: Bad bad day for me today

Hi Linds--

I used to use any excuse to take another pill...Being dissapointed or hurt by my boyfriend was a big trigger. When I decided to get clean I also made the decision, or should I say came to the realization that we're all individuals...we can't change anyone else's behaviour...but we can change how we deal with other people's actions. I chose to make my sobriety my most important thing...it didn't matter what anyone else did, or said...I kept my promise to myself...and stayed clean...

I see the same behaviour in you sweetie...you didn't let your abusive ex lead you down the wrong path...you stayed true to yourself and that's a HUGE thing!! You were able to wake up this morning with the knowledge that he was powerless! You're still clean...and the walls didn't fall in...you lived! I think that what you did was make your ex-powerless! He was this huge, hurtful presence in your life...and now he's this tiny thing in the corner...I recommend that you sweep him out entirely...but even if you don't, you'll know for next time, that you can get past his stupid behaviour without using!

You Rock!

Love, peace and understanding

Dream...
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Dream up the world you want to live in...dream out loud!!!

 
Old 05-14-2008, 07:21 AM   #7
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Lindsabins HB User
Re: Bad bad day for me today

I see the same behaviour in you sweetie...you didn't let your abusive ex lead you down the wrong path...you stayed true to yourself and that's a HUGE thing!! You were able to wake up this morning with the knowledge that he was powerless! You're still clean...and the walls didn't fall in...you lived! I think that what you did was make your ex-powerless! He was this huge, hurtful presence in your life...and now he's this tiny thing in the corner...I recommend that you sweep him out entirely...but even if you don't, you'll know for next time, that you can get past his stupid behaviour without using!

You Rock!

Love, peace and understanding

Dream..



Thank you all so much, what you said here dream meant so much to me. Jerry, yoss, zonie, droopy thank you all for your kind words of support, I needed them.
Jerry, I also have been watching your progress and it is weird but when I thought about using, I did not want to let you or my other friends that I met here on this site down. I thought about all of you and that helped stop me. I am proud to say I did not use yesterday And again, thank you all for such kind words, a girl like me needed to hear it. Love ya all, Lindsay

Last edited by moderator2; 05-14-2008 at 09:00 AM.

 
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