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Old 05-16-2008, 08:49 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: summerfield, flordia, U.S.
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makinit HB User
Man In Need Of Help! Long History Of Abuse

Hello fellow boardmembers!
I will start out by telling you a little about my history. I am a long time abuser of opiates, since 1986 or so. I had started opiate abuse at a young age, just to experiment. I soon had a small dependence and then, later came a very long roller coaster of on and off and etc. Most of us knows of this same old routine. Fast forward>>>>after 12 years of constant abuse and in an out of impatient treatment>>to 1998, I was truley lost and was open to just about anything that would help me just get a small grip, just to allow me to make a right decision, for once.
In 1998 I was in a business meeting where I met a woman that later, told me of the addiction she once had and proceeded to tell me how she got help with addiction. Now here comes the laugh>>>She told me that she worked a stricted program, where methadone was involved. I was already turned off by what Information I knew about methadone, until she had said that she was only on it for a week. Now, I was all ears and wanted to hear what she had to say. In short form: With a after care program, already in place, this doctor or clinic used methadone to stablize her on her heavy use of pills and after 3 days, brought her down on the next 2. She told me she did not feel uncomfortable, but didn't sleep for a while. She worked through a aftercare program and then NA. She showed me her six year chip. Needless to say I wanted what she had. That happinest on her face, in her heart (you could just tell, it stood out naked) and the freedom from bondage, she explained. She wanted to tell more about it but I was such a inpatient person, making important decisions, at the blink of an eye(an addicts way for sure) Blink forward>>>>>> three weeks later I was on 85mgs methodone maint. and was ashamed what I had done. This clinic, as many do, lets you choose what mgs. you want to work your way up to (gosh! what has the world come to?) Anyhow, I was more strung out than before. Forward>>>>>>>>to six years later(2004) still on methadone, with many failed attempts to detox from such a high dose and other complications. Forward>>>>>3 months later>>>Had a high risk procedure, in Michigan (ultra rapid detox) So horriable, I would not wish this on a 2 leg stray dog, with cancer about to get run over and then ask him to pay 8,000 to get hit. Another bad decision and more to come. However, I still had thought that methadone would have gave me a chance if I had done it right, like she did. Forward >>>>a month later I was right back on the pills again, which took me all the way May 11, 2008(Sunday) with a nasty pill habit (consistency and large amounts of norco and Soma).
Now here comes another(somewhat of a revolving mistake!) On Monday I started a detox(not maint.) on a different Methadone clinic, then the one before. I was started on 20 mgs. and throughout the week have been taken up only to 25 mgs. Currently>>>>on 25mgs. and feel stable, but I really am scared of the potentual, of this drug. Because of the half-life of this drug I want to come down to 20 mgs. for Sat and Sun. and 15 on Monday and Tuesday and 10 on wend., then JUMP! With excellent Aftercare program.

In Conclusion, I would like to hear from anyone, especially the people that have been through a methadone detox. Please share some of your experiences with me. Also, be honest and let me know what you think of my plan. Pro's, Con's and why? or Whatever you think that may help. Please don't hold back because of feelings, as for what I have been through, so far, I have had to be tough to take the torchure, I've endured.

Makinit

 
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Old 05-16-2008, 11:26 AM   #2
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jamesoc73 HB User
Re: Man In Need Of Help! Long History Of Abuse

Hey Makinit. I have a similar story. Got off 70mgs of methadone in Oct 07'. A terrible process I might add. It took 3 mos to feel normal again. Got on Suboxone in Feb 08'. Got off that after a few months and that was not easy either....not as bad as meth but bad enough. Now i'm back on Sub just cause I did'nt feel right. I abused pills for years as well. Can't seem to kick em' for good. Soma and Norco was my thing as well

J

 
Old 05-16-2008, 11:37 AM   #3
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Yossarian22 HB User
Re: Man In Need Of Help! Long History Of Abuse

hey mak.

there was a lot of points in your story that i have also lived through. Its a hard knock life being an opiate addict aint it! I was a heroin addict - on & off for a long long time. Anyway, long story short - i have been clean of heroin & methadone for just over 6months - i started posting on here the day i did the jump off. 25mg aint a big dose (tho it depends on weight & habbit size). I reduced from 60mg (though at points i was taking 'black market' stuff on top - to make it up 90-100mg). I reduced slowly down to about 25mg - no problem. i then jumped to 15 - no problem, then 10 - still no problem really (3-4day gaps between each jump) - i stayed on 10mg for a couple of weeks while i went on a family holiday (no point ruining everyone elses fun!) - when i got back i jumped down to 5, then to 2mg. At the 2mg point - the drug no longer had the ability to 'hold me' and i experienced withdrawals - so i thought "Do it" - i was scared, but i also was excited in equal measures, weird huh? For 7-10 days i felt pretty ropey (not nearly as bad as full blown cold turkeys ive had in the past, i might add). I couldnt sleep properly - restless leg/muscle spasms being the main culprit for this. I wont lie - the sleep deprivation is a real 'testing' time. But on reflection - i'd do it all again, anyday of the week to be where i am now.
It can be done - i was (by my own admission) a man of low moral fibre & had no threshold for pain/discomfort. If i can do it - you CAN. I mean it. Its all a matter of self motivation & a REAL desire to be free. Im not sure what sort of program you are on - maint/reduction - but speak to whoever is in charge and tell them of your plan - seek their advice. Have a viable plan ready - dont set your sights to high/to hard - you'll be setting up to fail, which will end up putting you back into the spiral of addiction.
Most importantly - take care of YOURSELF.

If i can steal a few words from a popular dead rastafarian

"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our mind."

This speaks volumes i feel.

keep us all posted as to what you are up to - there are people on this borad who have been through it, some are going through it and some are thinking/preparing to go through it. This place is worth its cyber weight in gold.

Hope this helps

Yoss

Keep choosing life
__________________
yoss

"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."

Last edited by Yossarian22; 05-16-2008 at 11:41 AM.

 
Old 06-15-2008, 03:20 PM   #4
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greeneyes1 HB User
Re: Man In Need Of Help! Long History Of Abuse

Hi friend. I have battled, and am still battling an addiction to Vicodin and Soma. I made a huge mistake a few years ago and took my first methadone tab...at my mom's funeral. It made me feel great...I thought it was the miracle cure I'd heard so much about. I didn't even crave the Vic's or Soma's, though I still took them sometimes just to feel that old familiar buzz. After about a year on the methadone, I decided it was time to stop. Since I was buying them on the street, I didn't have a doc supervising my taper. I just did it on my own. I tapered down to just 5 mg.s a day, but at that point, I hit a wall. I tried skipping days, I tried 2 1/2 mgs., but I just couldn't do it. The physical w/d's weren't much of a problem at this low dose, but the mental part was unbelievably bad for me. I honestly felt like I was losing my mind at times. I've detoxed from many things, including Vicodin and Soma, but nothing can touch methadone in my opinion. I guess it took about 3 months before I started to feel even a little normal. But it did happen. Since then, I've had an on and off battle with Vicodin, but I would never, ever consider taking methadone again. I hope you can stick this out and get off the meth, because it does get better...it just takes awhile. I know that methadone has saved a lot of lives, and I know that under supervision it is supposed to be safe, but for me it was a nightmare. I wish you the best of luck, my friend. I hope you can get off of it and stay clean. Time is the only way to get past it, and I think if I can win this battle, anyone can. Please keep posting because the support of this group is something I didn't have at the time, and it has really helped me alot through my other battles. Just remember, you can do this.

 
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