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Old 05-19-2008, 05:30 AM   #1
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 291
ReadyToBeDone HB User
Just dropping by!!

HI all!! It has been a WHILE since I've been on here, but I just wanted to see how things are going and to give a brief update. I'll have 9 months clean and sober in 1 week. I haven't had that much time since I was 13 (I'm 34 now). I have finished my outpatient counselling, and am still doing NA meetings 2-3 times a week. I did my 4th and 5th steps last week, and am moving on to the 6th. All in all, things are going well. I start back to college next month (working on my Master's Degree), kids are doing well, relationship with hubby is going better, and I have a new perspective on life.

I often think about how things were and how they are now. I don't stay trapped in the past, but I don't forget where I came from either, because as good as my life is going, I'm still an addict and will be one until the day I die. But being an addict in recovery has given me this opportunity to see just how precious life is and how blessed I am. Gratitude is an important tool in my spiritual toolbox and serves me well.

I've fought addiction for a long time, and have often thought that I was too broken to fix, but I'm not. And neither is anyone else here. Life is out there, and spending time and energy on the high and the drug is not living. Living is watching your kids play and remembering their laughter. Living is putting out a garden with your parents and husband and making those memories. Living is having friends who will call you on your BS, but also let you know you're loved. Recovery is a precious thing, and nobody is going to put it on a silver platter for the taking. It requires work, but my using required work too, and I've gotten so many more good things from recovery. It was hard gettinng here, and I still have tough days. But you know what? As bad as the withdrawals were, and as scarey as it was to face a life without the use of drugs, and as demoralizing as the legal things were, I'm so glad I went through them. Because if I hadn't I would either be dead now or, worse yet, still using. I still crave at times, but that fix isn't worth dishonoring my soul anymore.

Sending positive thoughts and prayers to each one of you.

Stay Strong,
RTBD

 
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Old 05-19-2008, 06:37 AM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Backwoods Maine. USA
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jerry111165a HB User
Re: Just dropping by!!

Great post and congratulations on your clean time. Liked the silver platter part; anything worth having is worth working for.

Thanks again.


peace,and God bless.
jerry.

 
Old 05-19-2008, 07:14 AM   #3
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,397
reachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB User
Re: Just dropping by!!

My Ready Freddy

Your post has made me cry. And it has made me so happy. I am going to implant these words in my head and heart permanently:

I still crave at times, but that fix isn't worth dishonoring my soul anymore.

I don't know that I have ever read more eloquent words concerning being in recovery. Not worth dishonoring my soul anymore.... what beautiful words and what a life changing thought.

Oh, I do love you, Ready. I love you for your courage and your honesty and your sharing. I love you for your determination to stand tall after a fall, to face headon what addiction was doing to you. I love you for your ability to find joy in the things that are joyful... our kids and family, gardens, and living life in a state of gratitude.

I am glad things are well with you now. The change in pwerspective just flows in your words now. Stay well and continue to honor your soul. It is a precious soul, indeed.

Always
reach

 
Old 05-19-2008, 01:53 PM   #4
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,115
slipperyslope HB User
Re: Just dropping by!!

oh my gosh RTBD. I remember you and your story from last year. you were in so much trouble and I remember all you went through. I am SO darn proud of you girl. you are an inspiration to so many people on this board that I hope you can find the time to help others out as you are living proof this can be done. I remember everything you went through and I was always so worried about you, but you made it. you did it girl and I am a big ol smile today.

Do you still live with your dad? I know that situation was so hard on you. How did you overcome that temptation of dad's pills?

I have not checked the addiction board in a long time and was so happy to see your name.

Big hugs to you and many prayers to you.

SS

 
Old 05-19-2008, 02:51 PM   #5
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: NY
Posts: 837
FullCircle08 HB User
Re: Just dropping by!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ReadyToBeDone View Post
I still crave at times, but that fix isn't worth dishonoring my soul anymore.
RTBD
That is some seriously good words. HI HI. I too have a bunch of clean time (73 days) and owe most of it to NA. I go to 2 meetings a week and havent even come close to starting the step work. They are great and are not pressuring me. I am taking it slow. I read the JUST FOR TODAY and sometimes I give out the key tags. YES!! I love the little sayings. It was great to read your words because I feel the same way, but have never said it that way. "dishonoring my soul" is an awesome way to put it.

Thanks for coming back --post often, your words mean a bunch

D
__________________
"1 is too many and 1000 is not enough" -

 
Old 05-19-2008, 09:11 PM   #6
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 291
ReadyToBeDone HB User
Re: Just dropping by!!

You guys rock! It is soo nice to be reading this board with a smile on my face, compared to last year...*sigh* yes, SS, that was an extremely rough time. My parents moved about 1/2 mile from us, so that has helped out a LOT. I'm not sure if he's on pain pills or not now. I don't ask, and they don't tell, and as far as I'm concerned, that's best. I don't think I would go and steal them again, but the fact is I'm an addict and I don't want to find out I had an excellent cousellor in day treatment, and my NA home group is awesome. Without that program, I honestly believe I would've had a fatal OD or committed suicide by this time. I think I made it there the day before I died.

D, don't sweat the steps, brother. Like it says, easy does it (just do it). I have a wonderful sponsor who guides me through them. My "Just for Today" is my daily ritual. Good words there. Those meetings are the best. Put a dollar in the basket if you have it, and soak up the recovery. Cheapest and best therapy I've ever gotten

Reach, you are still my hero, you know that right? Regardless of how many times I fell, and how much trouble I got into, you were always right there for me, never giving up hope even when I had. You touch the lives of so many, girl. You've been blessed with a gift of being able to reach into the souls of others and not letting them give up on themselves. That's something that not many people can do, and it makes you even more special.

Everyone here is definitely on my gratitude list. This road has been the hardest one I've ever walked, and it is far, far, far from being over. My life is just beginning, and with my Higher Power and people like you, it is only going to get better.

Stay Strong,
RTBD

 
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