Hi all I hope this reaches everyone in good health and spirits. A little recap of where I have been and where I am currently. I was at least a 2 gram a day IV heroin user. April 17th was the last day I used. I took suboxone for 5 days to detox then cold turkey from there. I first came to this board my 3rd day on the subs I believe. I was scared,feelin crappy,and mostly depressed. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to make it. I thought life was waaay easier hidden behind a cloud of dope. I posted here and when the replies came in it was like coming home. The advice and encouragements were heeded and helped me get a handle on where I wanted to be. I wanted to be sober...I wanted to be a mother ,a grandmother,a friend. Dope made those things impossible, I just didn't know that while I was using. I am now relearning how to live. I mean really live. I'm taking everyday for what it is...a gift. I'm filling my time now with meditation..self reflection..exercise, as well as keeping a journal..etc. I asked my kids to write or speak to me their thoughts on my drug abuse. I was floored that they knew so much. My 16 year old daughter wrote " When I last saw you I knew you weren't going to live much longer. While picking out an urn for Keith we picked out a casket for you. We had your favorite summer dress hanging in the closet waiting for your funeral. You don't know how hard it is for us kids to know you're dying, plan your funeral and yet you had no idea death was on your doorstep. Now mom we're picking the next hot spot for a nature walk with you. Having you back is a blessing." A blessing indeed. Everyday is a journey into the unknown for all of us. But with the help from my God and my friends here,I have a greater understanding of what life can really be. I'm not saying it's easy but it's getting easier. i just wanted to share those thoughts with you all. And say thank you for all the comfort and advice I have received here. ~~big hugs~~
cakes - what a post. ive got a lump in my throat (honest). Such a major change/turnaround. You've done remarkably well (as a fellow heroin addict i know what its like to jump down off 2gram a day - thats quite a habit). You've got an amazing positivity about you now - just keep building on that day by day. Focus on the things that will help keep you on the right track; childre, grandchildren, health etc. There will no doubt still be trying times ahead - but im sure you have the personal strength not to throw this away.
Keep up the good work & keep choosing life. An inspiration to all who read this
keep on keepin on
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."
Sounds like you are doing well. I can't wait for my 30 day drug free anniversary. I've only got 11 days under my belt and it's been rough. My addiction is pain killers. I'll be thinking of you and hopefully getting inspiration from you as well. Keep up the good work.
Thank you....feels awesome to have someone root for me! I know that I have friends, family, and church, but for a total stranger says good job, it really means something. I guess that's why I'm here. Thanks again!