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Old 06-02-2008, 12:40 PM   #1
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Backwoods Maine. USA
Posts: 375
jerry111165a HB User
About Me

Ok, I've been in here awhile now. I have been tring to help and give advice from my experience to others but just havent said how I've been doing with ME. So I suppose I should. At least just for my own head.

Quick rundown. Just about,well, almost two months off of my drug of choice. Opiates. Any kind. Harder the better. As much as I could get. As most of you know, I did do a couple of lines of coke in a moment of weakness some time ago, but I'm ok. Shouldnt have done it, but I did,so, so be it. I'm not gonna dwell on that 'lil screw-up.

Anyhow,pretty much 2 months clean. Next week, anyhow. The 10th. Most of you know I quit cold turkey. Was pretty rough, but again, I dont need to tell most of you what that is like. First couple weeks - rough. Third - fourth week, rough, but not anywhere near as bad.

Right now I feel absolutely wonderful. I feel like I have my head screwed on at least half-tight. I feel pretty confident. I do say "pretty", tho, you may have noticed, and not "totally" confident. yeah, I do still get urges. I havent acted on them,tho. I DO feel good about that. I like getting up in the morning now. (well,to a point! haha). I dont get up needing my fix. Or,even if I have it, I dont have to worry about hooking up for later. Or, even worse, waking up sick because I dont have it.God, I hated that. I hated being sick all of the time. Even when I had it, I needed more every 5-6 hours or I would get sick. You all (or at least many of you) know what I mean.

I'm not spending my $$$ on it,lots of $$$, everyday.Ya wonder where you come up with that much money sometimes. I'm not taking off on my family on the weekends because I need my fix. My legs dont hurt. My eyes arent dark anymore. Big,awful rings around them. Gone. Now thet are bright, and full of light and energy. I can see it when I look in the mirror.

I dont mind the person in the mirror anymore. Personally, I think he's pretty cool...*grin*
See, I can smile and laugh now. My garden is in. My lawn looks good. Not great,but pretty good....*lol*

I guess I just wanted to say that after close to a couple months clean from those ridiculiously stupid and obsessive opiates that I feel good. Better than I have felt in years. Much,much better.

So, if you are clean, be very,very proud. I know what it takes to get there now and its alot of work. But anything worth having....right?

If you are not clean, please look at me, and many others here, and know that THERE IS HOPE.

Thanks for being here. I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you guys and gals werent here, I probably wouldnt be clean right now. I mean that.




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Old 06-02-2008, 01:28 PM   #2
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Chicago Il
Posts: 47
cakesluvscheeks HB User
Re: About Me

Jer, You're doing awesome. Actually you are awesome. I'm so happy for you on the upcoming 2 months. Wow ! Keep up the great work. You are a very positive force on this board. I have told you this before and I'll say again..if not for you I don't know if I would have made it sober. I'm glad your lawn looks good...trip to Saginaw? Mine looks terrible !! LOL

Peace Love and Skittles
Have a Grateful Day

Old 06-02-2008, 02:51 PM   #3
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: The here & now.
Posts: 475
Yossarian22 HB User
Re: About Me

hey jerry

What a story. Im so glad that you've pulled through to the otherside. As you know -we've both been posting on here for roughly the same time & ive followed your story since day 1. It was a tough start - but gone is the doubt, the uncertainty & the weakness of will. Its great to hear the strength in your posts. It reflects massivley in the help/support you pass on to others. A story that will inspire those reading who are on the verge or have made the jump to give up. A massive pat on the back (in an unpatronising way).

Well done my friend

You also must take a bow for the garden & lawn - now THAT is something to be proud of! - i have arranged for someone to re-do mine, its that bad!

"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."

Old 06-02-2008, 03:48 PM   #4
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 842
granny0 HB User
Re: About Me


You are one pretty cool guy

You are a true inspiration for everyone on this board. You have such a positive attitude and I'm so glad you are feeling absolutely wonderful! Keep up the good work and good posts!

Count me in that group hug!


Old 06-02-2008, 05:06 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 1,570
Re: About Me

Wow, Jerry~
What a great story! Over on the Pain Mgmnt Boards we have an "introduction thread." that way everyone gets to tell their story, and others can glean from it and get to know the person and what they/ve been through. You should ask your Mod to add that to your forum. Just my opinion, but I think it would be a great addition to your Addiction Forum.
If you already have it, then im sorry, Im not over here much~

Old 06-02-2008, 06:18 PM   #6
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Re: About Me

Hi Jerry

I am so glad to see this thread. There have been a lot of times when I read a response you have written to someone and I think about you but don't want to barge in on another's thread. So I am glad for the chance to write directly to you. Smiles.

I dont mind the person in the mirror anymore. Personally, I think he's pretty cool...*grin*

These are my very favorite words in your post. To me, this is one of the biggest indicators that you truly do feel the renewal and restoration that can come in recovery. We get rid of the all the crazy insanity we were living in and begin to see life through clear and happy eyes again. We get to see ourselves through clear and happy eyes again. When we can finally see again and understand that we have so much more to offer the world than our addiction~~~~ well, I guess that is just one of the biggest blessings that comes to be.

The changes are amazing and awesome, Jerry, and I am so happy to celebrate them all with you. The total honesty you share in the good and the bad parts of your story just makes it all so real and inspiring. We can chnage, we can be happy, we can enjoy life again. If the proof is in the pudding, then you, my friend, are a huge bowl of pudding..... with whipped cream on top to boot. Chuckles.

I am proud to know you

Old 06-02-2008, 10:28 PM   #7
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Re: About Me

Hello Jerry,

Had to get in on that "group hug."

You are experiencing the effects of a "clean mind" and your body is beginning to thank you for it.

I want to wish you all that recovery has to offer.

In saying that, may your sunny days be cloud free and your cloudy ones, drug free; it puts things in perspective.

Take care.

Sincerely stated,


Old 06-03-2008, 04:59 AM   #8
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Backwoods Maine. USA
Posts: 375
jerry111165a HB User
Re: About Me

* Honestly wiping away some kind of salty liquid coming out of my eyes*

I dont even know what to say. It hasent been that long,over the whole scheme of things. Not when you look back on years and years of abusing myself and those around me. But at the same time it feels like much longer, just because of how good I feel, I think. I feel so Alive!

Yoss, Reach, Pheonix, Granny, Izzysmom,Cakes.. and all of the rest of all have no idea how much of an effect this place has had on my recovery. Or maybe you do, because I feel like many of us are all in this together.

All I can say is thank you for being here.



Old 06-03-2008, 05:08 PM   #9
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: The here & now.
Posts: 475
Yossarian22 HB User
Re: About Me

maybe your eyes are just a little sweaty today jerry? i get this a lot

we ARE all in this together amigo.

take care

"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."

Old 06-04-2008, 08:55 AM   #10
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Atl
Posts: 9
coldlevinexi HB User
Re: About Me

I use to make jokes about how a mirror is a druggie's worst enemy (maybe a little insensitively). So hearing that you like who you see now is great.
I was clean for such a long time, and I'm still doing fairely well but I noticed I'm slipping into the same pattern I was in when I first starting doing them heavily. Hopefully the board will work as well for me at keeping me from lapsing completely as it did to help you get clean.
And yeah, I know exactly what you mean about continuing to take them in order to keep from getting sick. I hated the days I didn't have enough to carry me all the way through the day, it was horrible. In the beginning, the people who didn't know I was taking drugs mistook that for depression. Whenever somebody talked to me about getting help, it always because they thought I was depressed and needed therapy. I still can't believe some were that oblivious.

anyway, I'm talking too much and off subject. It's great to hear somebody's better. Hope you stay that way and that it only gets easier.
~ X there are some places you can't come back from X ~

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