It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Addiction & Recovery Message Board


Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-07-2008, 09:05 PM   #1
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: ireland
Posts: 62
ryan10 HB User
WHOLE FAMILY addicted

hi everyone well i have a mother sister brother{2of them} addicted to valium my sister and mother are also taking oxicontant whenever i approach my mother about this she always denies that she takes more tha n the prescribed dose .i have reported it to her gpi dont know how many tines but shes obviously bluffing them coz she still gets them . what really pees me of about her she gives out to my son about taking hash and cocain at the weekend and gives him a sermon but he is my problem not hers my thought do be that she should sort out her own life or does it make her feel better because hes taking street drugs and it dosent make her addiction look so bad. even though she wont admit that she is also an addict with prescriptin drugs.i dont know when i visited last shes either in bed sleeping a 7 oclock or her speach does be slightly slurred she makes me sick looking at herand i get angry with her because i feel she dosent behave like an normal mum should.we cant plan anything with her coz she never wants to go shes only 67 all she does is retires to bed at 6 and reads im on antidepressant and im cutting down was on sleeping tabs to but i dont take them antymore im afraid il end up like them

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 06-08-2008, 05:43 AM   #2
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Kaiserslautern, Germany but from Mililani, Hawaii
Posts: 164
jinx2418 HB User
Re: WHOLE FAMILY addicted

Hi Ryan. I'm a recovering addict of many things... coke included. Well, I should say I "did" coke, but that's not what I was really addicted to. I was addicted to meth. I did a lot... how old is your son? If he's a teen or even in his 20's, it might just be a "thing" he's doing. Many people have done coke in their life and not become life long addicts. So he may grow out of it, especially if he's just doing it on weekends. It might take him getting a job or career, or something of worth that shows him he doesn't have to do that anymore to make him stop. And, it could just be to party. I've known lots of people who like to party hard on the weekends and then live productive lives during the week taking care of kids, family, and their responsibilities. Not that I condone he usage, but if he's taking care of his life, and doesn't need t drug to survive, in my opinion he's not an addict. An addict to me is someone whose only purpose in life is to get more of the drug they use. That's how I was with meth. I could care less abou my son or school or work, just meth. My whole day was consumed on how to get money to buy it, who to buy it from, where to do it, how much to do... etc.

As for your mom, I don't know how to help you there. She's an adult and if she doesn't admit to it, I don't know what to do. She needs professional help, but if she doesn't want it, I guess you can't force it on her. It sucks though, and I emphasize with you.

As for you, it's good that you recognize the problem and can take steps to stop. Just be strong. Be a pillar of strength and maybe if your mom sees your strength, she can find hers to stop. My mom stopped smoking after 46 years because I stopped (cigarettes). Just be the one to stop the cycle because you don't want it to go on. And maybe that will show your son too that if dad can do it, so can I!

Good luck. Addiction is a messy thing, but at least you are trying to stop it!

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 06-08-2008, 06:54 AM   #3
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: ireland
Posts: 62
ryan10 HB User
Re: WHOLE FAMILY addicted

hi jinx2418 first of all im a mother not dad. my son is 24 and yes he dosent touch it during the week he likes to party at the weekend but not every weekend. your post has helped me a lot because i truly thought his life would turn out a mess

 
Old 06-08-2008, 11:13 AM   #4
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Kaiserslautern, Germany but from Mililani, Hawaii
Posts: 164
jinx2418 HB User
Re: WHOLE FAMILY addicted

Oh sorry! I didn't even see the (female) under your name! Just thought of the Ryan! But I'm glad I could bring you some comfort. 24... he's still young, but growing! My husband and I also would party on the weekends, and me until I was 26! but I always took care of my life and school and everything. So that's good to hear! He has hope and promise!

 
Old 06-08-2008, 12:08 PM   #5
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: ireland
Posts: 62
ryan10 HB User
Re: WHOLE FAMILY addicted

thats what my partner tells me that he will turn out right someday. my son dosent have the same confidence in himself as my other 2sons do, they give out about him because of the annoyance he causes me and i know he feels like hes a scumbag which he has often refere
d to himself as. he went into a treatment clinic for alchohol drugs and gambling but discharged himself after 2wks he found it hard doing the group meetings he wasnt able to open up and talk in group therapy. he reckoned who was he to pull anybody apart when he was no better than them. so the concillors gave him a hard time and told him he wasnt participating that was when he left. he has a 4yr old son whom i adore but when he was living with his partner everything seemed to be out of control. after 2 years of living together he came home to the family home and she went back to her dads. my son seems more content in himself and so is she they are still seeing each other. his problem was he hated telling his mates that they werent allowed in the house and thats how it became known as the party house. his house was raided twice and they found small ammonts of canibiss. and he was charged (dont know the outcome yet} the good thing about him being home is he can tell his mates there not allowed because its my house thanks for replying its nice to talk to someone whos been in the same situation.many many thanks will you keep in touch

 
Old 06-09-2008, 03:38 PM   #6
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Kaiserslautern, Germany but from Mililani, Hawaii
Posts: 164
jinx2418 HB User
Re: WHOLE FAMILY addicted

we sure can keep in touch... though it has to be through the boards as we are not allowed to share email info. Even though these small set backs happen, he has a chance to get away from it. I smoked marijuana for 10 years straight, every single day. I always took care of my responsibilities, but still, there was a haze. Now I am glad to say that i am not and have not since august. I do crave it now and then when things get tough, but it's not like life revolves around it. It can just be a fun thing every now and then and not be an addiction. As I said before, if it's not controlling his life, then it's not an addiction. Thought court seems rough, it was an unlucky break. Maybe enough to teach him to have some discretion or to just stop. He's young,and I'm sure he'll find his way.

 
Old 06-10-2008, 05:47 AM   #7
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: ireland
Posts: 62
ryan10 HB User
Re: WHOLE FAMILY addicted

hi jinx2418 glad to hear from you ye court is tough i just hope they dont send him away coz i know he wouldnt cope with prison. dont think id cope to well either if he was locked up.he was supposed to be in court this thurs but we had to get it adjourned. we discovered a couple of months ago that one of his kidneys dont work so he has to go to dublin thursday for tests they dont know if they will operate. how we found out about this was when he was at a party one of his mates were messing which there always at and they gave him a dig in the side he ended in hospital for a week but i thank god they found the problem. i thought that this would scare him into stopping but no hes still at the coke and hash god knows what else. but he does seem to be slowing down a small bit.my problem is i love him so much it breaks my heart in two to seeing him do this to himself. hes left himself that he has no self worth and he thinks his brothers are better people than he is.they are in steady relationships and to him everything is going right for them:

 
Old 06-14-2008, 04:12 PM   #8
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Kaiserslautern, Germany but from Mililani, Hawaii
Posts: 164
jinx2418 HB User
Re: WHOLE FAMILY addicted

well I'm glad they found that problem, even if it was in a bad way! God has a reason for everything! It always seems to us, when we are in a bad place that others have the perfect life. I remember thinking that about my brother who makes so much money, have a big house, a great job, a family, nice cars.... but then, his children are monsters bec they are so spoiled, his wife wants a divorce, and all that money can't buy him the happiness he wants so badly. So, it's just a matter of perspective. Hopefully he can on his feet and see that he can make something of himself and then be proud. I always used my brothers as inspiration... I can be like that too, I would think! If they can do it, so can I! I wasn't always like that, but hopefully, he can get there. I wish you all luck!

 
Old 07-09-2008, 05:39 PM   #9
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: ireland
Posts: 62
ryan10 HB User
Re: WHOLE FAMILY addicted

hi jinx hes in court tomorrow over the drugs and other stuff say a prayer that all turns out well. will let you know

 
Old 07-10-2008, 08:18 AM   #10
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Howard City, MI
Posts: 16
waitingtolive HB User
Re: WHOLE FAMILY addicted

Hi, I really no how hard things can be for you. I come from a long line of family addictions. My father was a pot head and alcoholic. (My dad just passed away this march) My son is now sitting in jail an he is only 17 years old ! He had one stupid drunk night with friends who talked him into breaking into cars while they were drinking.I am trying to get out of a relationship ( 6 months long) with a man who uses pot,booze,pills. I found out he shoots the pills. I am so devastated !!!! I have health problems and due to that became addicted to vicodin myself.
I made the decission to join this site for support because after what i seen with the boyfriend i dam sure do not want to go down this addition road any longer. I started taken the meds for the real pain but feel like along the way i let my lifes pain take over.
As for your son i wish you the best and all you can do is stay strong for him and yourself.Your mom on the other hand has to beable to face the truth about her problem or she will not get better. I learned this the hard way thru my boyfriend. <removed>
Sometimes as much as we love our family and want to help all we can do is stand back an wait until they see the light then go from there. Good luck an i am always here for support.

Last edited by mod-anon; 07-10-2008 at 09:01 AM. Reason: the buddy system is not a function of HealthBoards

 
Old 07-10-2008, 10:45 AM   #11
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: ireland
Posts: 62
ryan10 HB User
Re: WHOLE FAMILY addicted

thanks for that reply waitingtolive your name seems very appropriate after reading your story. yep this is a great site its nice to know people do care. my son got his case adjourned for another two weeks. they say he could get six months so iv asked the solicoter can i take the stand and explain to the judge that he has moved back home with me and relly has calmed dowm a lot. he isnt drinking or using as much b\c he rarely goes out and he knows i wont allow him to take drugs at home. so now im thinking is he really addicted when he can do without during the week.as for my mam and sister iv decided to just let them get on with it i think i have enough to deal with without worrying about them. they are supposed to be responsible adults and they wont listen to me and im sick of banging my head against a brick wall. i feel for you with all your problems and i hope that through the board you may get the help and advise to get over this hurdle everybody is so kind and suppotive and it makes you feel better to ofload your anger or sadness and know that someone is listing. good luck and keep in touch

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Family back at it with my pain meds for my back kkmom Pain Management 20 07-31-2007 02:25 PM
Holidays with family who don't understand! Bictwin Pain Management 12 01-09-2007 06:55 AM
In desperate need of advice and knowledge from recovered crack addicts and family bujo007 Addiction & Recovery 7 01-04-2006 01:35 AM
family of addicts blurayne Addiction & Recovery 8 11-07-2005 11:15 PM
Worried-Family Member Addicted to Vidodin-Not Sure How She Gets It---Want to Stop Her Kiki_Smiles Addiction & Recovery 5 10-06-2005 01:18 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:27 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!