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Old 06-22-2008, 12:11 PM   #1
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Taking steps to get off Cocaine Addiction and looking for support...

Hi board,
I have had a Cocaine addiction that started up about 3-5 years ago and like many thought I could control it but cannot. About a month ago after having an all day binge I finally came clean to my wife and admitted that I have a problem. She had been suspicious from money disapearing from our acccount and I had been good at hiding my problem. It finally became too much for me...the guilt the feelings everything and I just want to get better. It was hard to amit it to her but I did it.
I have started to attend CA meetings in my area. I am going to also seek out a counselor through my insurance but I also wanted to find out if anyone knows where I can find a 24 hour support number in case at times I cannot get ahold of my CA sponsor.
THere are times like early in the morning on the way to work when I would abuse and at times like that I would like to be able to call someone....
I really hate the feeling I get when I start thinking about using...I get that upset knot in my stomach, my body rushes and the impulsive thoughts of scoring some is sometimes unbearable. And these are the times when I really need help to overcome this....anyway any help advice would be greatly appreaciated....I have had a relapse 3 days ago and am clean for now and want to stay clean....

Regards,
Dano

 
Old 06-23-2008, 06:12 AM   #2
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Re: Taking steps to get off Cocaine Addiction and looking for support...

Hi Dan

Looks like you are taking serious steps here in battling your addiction. Good for you! It is a stony road to walk, but putting all the safety nets we can in place helps us to stumble less as we walk along.

There are some cities that offer a 24/7 phone number manned by AA people. They can be found throgh a simple search. I don't know if NA or CA offer the same. However, AA people would surely speak to you and help you through those early morning drives. Don't overlook calling home either! I am sure the sound of your wife's voice would go a long way in calming those urges. It is just great that you have come clean to her and incorporating our spouses into our plans is a wonderful thing.

I also believe that working with a counselor will be an avenue that is going to be so helpful. They can really point out objectively where our thinking needs to change and most importantly, offer concrete suggestions on how to change it. I think a counselor could give you suggestions on what to do when the thoughts of using push forward. A concrete skill that you can practice and use to help yourself.

Wishing you all good things in your efforts. I, too, was lost in my drug use and had to fight my way out of the haze. Not easy, perhaps, but certainly possible and undoubtedly worth every hard step.

Looking forward to more sharing with you
reach

 
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Old 06-24-2008, 08:46 AM   #3
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Re: Taking steps to get off Cocaine Addiction and looking for support...

Thanks for the support reach! Yes it is definitely a tough road. My biggest challenge is just trying to stay clean and the desperate urges to use. Its a struggle for sure. The thing is for me, I have so many other things that I love to do, hobbies, business etc...and I really don't want to use and know I shouldn't but getting back to normal is sure hard...and the thoughts that go through my brain can be hard to control....

Have to go for now..thanks again...

 
Old 06-24-2008, 09:23 AM   #4
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Re: Taking steps to get off Cocaine Addiction and looking for support...

Dan, hang in there, my friend.

I,too, had the same problem with coke for years and years and years. I'm surprised my wife didnt leave, but she stuck thru it.

I took many NA meetings for me to finally get the hint that I was killing myself with the white powder. I finally dont want it anymore. Only took me like 25 years of abusing it to see the light.DUH!

Keep hanging in there. Got to some NA meetings. Read alot here, and keep posting. Theres many here that can help you thru this, if you want it bad enuff.

* just another dopeless hope addict.*

jerry.

 
Old 06-24-2008, 07:20 PM   #5
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Re: Taking steps to get off Cocaine Addiction and looking for support...

Drugs
Are
Negative

Now that positivity is entering your life,
please remember the words above.

Take care and God Bless.

Phoenix

Last edited by Phoenix; 06-24-2008 at 07:21 PM. Reason: spelling

 
Old 06-26-2008, 08:04 AM   #6
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Re: Taking steps to get off Cocaine Addiction and looking for support...

Thanks everyone for your support I really appreciate it. I almost had a relapse just yesterday, but fortunately it didn't happen. But the urge and impulse was strong and such a terrible feeling. How do you get through that rush feeling the compulsive feeling that overcomes you?
Also, does anyone know where I can get a simple cheap test from a lap to check and see if I am clean? thanks

 
Old 06-26-2008, 09:13 AM   #7
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Re: Taking steps to get off Cocaine Addiction and looking for support...

Hi Dan

How do you get through that rush feeling the compulsive feeling that overcomes you?

Dan, in my experience, those rush feelings are associated with the searches the brain and body are doing looking for remnants of the drugs. They are an upsetting pain in the butt, aren't they? I think it can easily become a craving if we do not understand what is happening and recognize it for the anxiety feeling associated with it. The craving is the brain's thinking response to the only thing it currently knows will alleviate the anxiousness.

When things like that hit me... which was frequently in the beginning, I would breathe my way through it as I made myself do something physical... walk around, dance. sweep a floor. Sweep and slow, rhythmic breathing. The feeling would pass. As we work to retrain our brains on how to react when the anxiety hits, it really does begin to react differently. It takes practice and time.

As far as the lab tests, I have seen phamplets for them at bloood drawing stations... I have no idea of the cost. They are for mail in results for individuals to use. There may also be some in chain pharmacies. I know there are parents here who get them to test kids at home.

Good luck, Buddy, and stay strong.
reach

 
Old 06-30-2008, 09:47 AM   #8
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Re: Taking steps to get off Cocaine Addiction and looking for support...

Thanks for the support and info. I have been staying clean and intend to. I am looking right now for somewhere where I can get a test to verify for my own self that I am clean. Also I am going to regular ca meetings weekly and really enjoy going and talking and just knowing that I am not alone seems to help. Thanks again...

 
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