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Old 06-23-2008, 08:14 PM   #1
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StacyVictor HB User
Unhappy Also trying to get off Suboxone! Need Help and Encouragement!

Hello everyone, although I am not new to the board I have not been on for several years. Basically since I started taking Suboxone. I started out in 1996-1997 as a heroin/cocaine addict. Went on methadone and got pregnant. Tried to get off the methadone and withdrawals were so bad, got hooked on vicodens! I took 20-30 vicoden's a day for about 6 years, then in 2003 or 2004 I found Suboxone and I have been on it every since. Why was I on it for so long you ask? Well I had one doctor that I saw every month and was very understanding that he let me stay on it as long as i wasn't using anything else and I stayed at 2mg a day. Then I moved to phoenix and found a new doctor. He claimed to be an expert on suboxone and said I should stay on it for life. Please know that this doctor was NOT just taking my money. My insurance covered the minimal office fee of $50 and I applied and was accepted through the suboxone manufacturer for a year for free suboxone (30 8mg a month). Of course over time, my dose went up because it could, after all I was getting it for free. Then came 2008! Everything was fine until January 25, 2008 when an accident at work (I was a waitress) left me in the hospital for a week with a broken hip! I was given more pain medicine than you can imagine but the suboxone kept it from working. then I had to have another surgery and then 2 weeks ago another. In the meantime, about 3 months ago, I found out my "expert in suboxone" lost his license to practice medicine because he was already on probation with the medical board and he got caught taking provigil w/o a prescription. Well all of a sudden, bam...no suboxone doctor (manufacturer will only send suboxone to a doctor's office) all of a sudden I have no doctor to prescribe the suboxone! So I have decided to quit! I am sick and tired of worrying about where i'll get the next prescription. It's just as bad as vicoden! I just had a third operation on my hip. I hadn't taken suboxone for 3 weeks b/c I had prescription pain meds, but I was still having suboxone withdrawal the whole time. You know, no sleep, feeling so anxious, having weird paranoid thoughts all the time. Yesterday I ran out of pain meds and broke down and took just a little bit of Suboxone. It made feel sooooo much better. But I know how this story ends, so I know I can't take anymore.

I am sooooooooooo scared! I keep telling myself I can do this, but can I???? I have had a crutch for so many years how can I be completely clean now?? I DONT want to go back to taking Suboxone everyday! I want to start my life over and be free from this demon! But how??? There are so few threads about people that have completely become free of this drug!!!! I have 2 bottles of 30-8mg pills. Should I start a really slow, low dose taper? I just don't know what to do and I have know one to talk to about this.

Please I would really appreciate as much help and encouragement as everyone can give. I really want/need to do this, this time!!! I want to be free of this demon!
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Stacy

 
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Old 06-23-2008, 08:25 PM   #2
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oh-notagain HB User
Re: Also trying to get off Suboxone! Need Help and Encouragement!

Stacy,

Welcome Back !!!

To answer your question - the only people i have "known" (chat boards) to have successfully come off suboxone did the long slow taper thing. 2 mg down to 1.5 mg. then down to 1 mg. then down to .5, then down to .25.
then every other day, then stretch that out. until you no longer need it.
it works if you can do it. it takes a lot of patience and fortitude. - neither of which i have found in myself to this point.
i take 4 mg a day. no more no less. it doesnt get me high. and it doesnt bother me to take it. i've been on it for a little over a year.
I think if you really want this you CAN DO IT. use this board, use any support that you can find at home or around you. it will take a long time, but IT CAN BE DONE. the people on this board are always here to help when you're having a bad day/hour/minute. so keep posting and let us know how you're doing.

good luck,

michelle

Last edited by oh-notagain; 06-23-2008 at 08:28 PM.

 
Old 06-24-2008, 12:54 AM   #3
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treehousier HB User
Re: Also trying to get off Suboxone! Need Help and Encouragement!

I found your post while waiting for a reply to mine. I wanted more information on Sub I have just started taking it and to tell you the truth I havent felt this good in years. It helps so much with the depression that I have had while trying to stay off the narcs. Have you felt or know of people that find this? I went off the narcs for 2 years and felt like hell most of the time, the craving in my bones went away, I could function at some level but was never happy, never looked forward to anything, I functioned not enjoying anything. And I started useing again and after a year of that I knew I couldnt go there again. So I heard about Suboxone looked around for months to find a Dr. that wouldnt charge hundreds of dollors $700.00 or more until I found one and got on the meds. It is a God send the depression was gone along with the desire to use narcs. I could find a bucket of oxy and not even be tempted, with Sub I feel so normal and happy. I know this is not helping you but thought mabey talking to someone would help you evaluate your situation. I also am like you I have no one to talk to. And like you I live in Az. So I guess you could say your at the end of your situation with sub and Im starting. Was your exp. with sub worse than your addiction?. Keep in touch.

 
Old 06-24-2008, 08:25 AM   #4
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specwolf82 HB User
Re: Also trying to get off Suboxone! Need Help and Encouragement!

im in the same situation,. everyone says that youre supposed to do a slow steady detox, but what happens when you have to pay over $600 all at once, and you can not do it becuase your 25 yrs old completely independent and have to many bills to pay to cover that, which is why i was going to try and detox myself using vicodin, or somethin. and I have tried the NA deal and it is good but, i live in a small community and i have a high profile job which i can not risk my secrecy. i dunno. im so confused, maybee i will just start taking pills save of enough money which will take about 3 weeks, then go to the doctor and try the very slow detox. but what happens when you have a bunch of pills that you know will make you high and your only supposed to take a quarter of one everyday.. (sarcasticly) yea, ok...ill make sure i do that!

 
Old 06-24-2008, 11:54 AM   #5
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StacyVictor HB User
Re: Also trying to get off Suboxone! Need Help and Encouragement!

Hello. Let me first start out by saying this! Suboxone is the devil! If you don't know for 100% that you will NEVER have to go off of it. Don't start it. What I mean by 100% positive is this. I thought for sure that my doctor would prescribe me suboxone forever. Then he lost his license to practice medicine and all of his patients were left high and dry. I have gone to other suboxone doctors in the area and they ALL ripped me off! I"m so sorry I ever started on it. Kicking Vic's or Oxy's is 100 times easier than suboxone. I have done my research and have come across few to zero people that have successfully stayed off of it. Yes, being on suboxone made me a new person, I am happy, no depression, lots of energy, no anxiety, but what happens when you have to learn to live without it!! when i started it, it just came out. there weren't people on boards telling me these things. I only wish I had waited and done a little more research.
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Stacy

 
Old 06-24-2008, 02:18 PM   #6
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g8trgrl15 HB User
Re: Also trying to get off Suboxone! Need Help and Encouragement!

This is really scary to read.. I don't want to be on this medicine forever. I do know some people that were on it for a short time and weaned off... I know for a fact that the longer you take it, the harder it will be for you to get off of. Here I am at almost a year (9 months) of taking it.. I tried jumping at 1 mg once and I couldn't do it. I have to pay 200 bucks every time I go see my Dr, and that's not always easy to do. I do wish that I had researched the medicine before I started taking it... but I also believe I had no other choice. I was on Lortabs, and I couldn't stand the w/d's after 6 hours.. then went to methadone, and I couldn't take that either. So suboxone seemed a lifesaver for me. Now like so many others, I question that. I don't know, and am truly confused. Ever since I went back to the Dr, I have been taking 4mgs a day, and supposed to take 2. So now I need to get to 2mgs for a while to get used to that, and then go to one I guess. At this point, I know it will be a slow process getting off. But I HAVE to believe that I can do it.. I have no other choice for that I'm sure..

Best wishes,
G8trgrl

 
Old 06-24-2008, 06:19 PM   #7
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oh-notagain HB User
Re: Also trying to get off Suboxone! Need Help and Encouragement!

Please believe me - YOU CAN DO IT. noone ever said it was gonna be easy. Talk to Reach. she did a long slow taper. SHE DID IT. and we can too.
Reach didnt do suboxone. But the discipline is the same. You have to have the discipline to do it.
spec... are you on sub? do you get high from it? i know that one of the pluses of sub for me is that it doesnt get me high. so it doesnt matter if i take 4 mg or 8 mg. in fact, if i take too much i get sick to my stomach.

there HAVE been people who have been on suboxone long term that have come off of it unscathed. i wish i could direct you to some day by day testimony, but i cant. so please take my word for it. if you do the taper very slowly and get down as low as .5 or .25 then start lengthening the time between doses the w/d will be so minimal that you wont miss a day of work.

i wish everyone luck. heck, i wish ME luck with this too. ITS HARD. But life for me right now is better than it was when i was using so i'll take this life anyday.

take care all !!!

Big Hugs from Cyberland !!!

Michelle

 
Old 06-25-2008, 03:04 PM   #8
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g8trgrl15 HB User
Re: Also trying to get off Suboxone! Need Help and Encouragement!

Hey Michelle,

You are so right. And thank you so much for that post. It just basically told me to quit worrying so much. I'm on the right track and that's all that matters. I'm so very good at beating myself up. I think all of us addicts are. I'm so glad to see that you're doing so good. And it's cool, because you'll know when you're ready to take that step and lower your dose, if ever. So I just wanted to say thank you for that..

Love,
Brandi

 
Old 06-25-2008, 10:37 PM   #9
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mikel94 HB User
Re: Also trying to get off Suboxone! Need Help and Encouragement!

I'm about in the same boat as you g8trgrl, I've been on suboxone for 6-7 months. I gotta say that suboxone was a life saver for me. I was on a downward spiral and I wanted to stop so bad but my tune always changed once the w/d's started kickin in. I had never experienced anything even half that agonizing! A combination of physical pain everywhere in your body and horrible mental pain (deep depression/anxiety/etc.). I couldn't tough it out; the suboxone saved me from that. I'm not saying getting off suboxone will be easy but I'd prefer a moderate & slow detox over an intense quick detox anyday. My life has done a complete 180 thanks to suboxone. I've also saved a ton of money since im not buying pills anymore. I just have to pay $100 to the doc and $15 copay for the sub.

Try the slow taper, seems that is what usually works. I always like to recommend exercise. I do alot of cardio and strength training b/c it produces natural endorphins which your brain must relearn to do. It helps me a whole lot so keep that in mind; even if it's just a brisk walk each afternoon. I hope everything works out for you and i'm sorry to hear about your doc. Hard to believe the kind of people that get medical licenses. Good luck.

 
Old 06-28-2008, 03:09 PM   #10
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oh-notagain HB User
Re: Also trying to get off Suboxone! Need Help and Encouragement!

Quote:
Originally Posted by g8trgrl15 View Post
Hey Michelle,

You are so right. And thank you so much for that post. It just basically told me to quit worrying so much. I'm on the right track and that's all that matters. I'm so very good at beating myself up. I think all of us addicts are. I'm so glad to see that you're doing so good. And it's cool, because you'll know when you're ready to take that step and lower your dose, if ever. So I just wanted to say thank you for that..

Love,
Brandi
thought you needed a nice swift kick in the arse. or a hug. take your pick.
big love from cleveland, girl. We're gonna be OK !!!!!

 
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