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Old 06-29-2008, 10:42 AM   #1
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emsmom HB User
Confirmed date for Rehab, drastic taper starts tomorrow...

Hello friends,

Well, the time has come. I have my confirmed date to enter Rehab - Monday July 14th - and tomorrow I'll start the drastic taper so I am detoxed "before" I arrive.

I got some very good advice from Lou the other day - He explained why it would be better for me to have detoxed before I arrive at the Rehab Centre. It made perfect sense once I looked into a few things. Sure, the first week is considered detox, but I will get so much more out of the program if I am clean walking into it. The detox at Homewood (the Rehab centre I am going to) isn't just sitting in my room feeling the w/d's. In fact, I will start "program" the day after I get there, regardless of what my body is going through.

Here's an example of my schedule...

7:15am - meet with group and go for a 45 minute wallk
8am - breakfast
8:45am - meeting with group (similar to an N/A meeting)
10am - meet with counsellor for one-on-one session
11am - meet back up with group for outside activities
12pm - lunch
1pm - spend entire afternoon with group, talking, doing activities etc.
5pm - dinner
The rest of the evening is considered leisure, however each individual is expected to choose one activity from a list (meeting, gardening, sports, etc.) and have it signed by the counsellor in that section.

So, essentially, my day will be packed full of stuff!! There isn't time to sit around and feel w/d's. I assumed I'd be in my room for the first week, detoxing. I was wrong. So basically, I realized that it would be in my best interest to have detoxed before I go. Many people walk into Homewood still using, and they have a schedule to follow, regardless of whether they are detoxing or not.

So thats why I am starting a drastic taper as of tomorrow. The reason I am not starting today is because its my daughters 3rd birthday and we're having a party for her.

I must admit, I'm terrified to detox at home I thought I'd just wait until I get there and have professional help, but its a choice I've made and I'm going to do it.

My husbands brother is going to Europe tomorrow (with his wife and child), they live across the street from us...so I am going to use their house to detox. I'll be right across the street from my hubby, so he'll be close by. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? I'll be tapering quick. I will go down half the amount every three days until I am finished.

I am terrified, simply terrified but I've set my mind to do this so I'm not turning back now.

Wish me luck...

emsmom

 
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Old 06-29-2008, 12:35 PM   #2
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jerry111165a HB User
Re: Confirmed date for Rehab, drastic taper starts tomorrow...

Emsmom.

First off, *hugs*.

Second, congrats on your determination.
I believe you are making a very wise choice to detox before rehab. Make sure you HAVE A PLAN. Make the plan, and stick to it. I can tell you want this and need this, so grit your teeth, make that determined face and tell that demon where to go.

This isnt going to be easy, but you know that, too. I must tell you, tho, that after myself being an addict for many years, that the last 2-3 months have been the happiest in a very, very long time. Boy, your body and head feels soooo much better...It is so nice to smile and know that you are clean.
I cold turkeyed after a long oxy/opiate in general addiction, and it wasnt fun, but after 4-5 days the worst was over and I was so glad that i didnt cave in. Be strong. Do this. You will thank yourself a million times after you have done it. Dont be scared or frightened of the wd's. remember, your body knows what is best and is cleaning house on the bad stuff.

If you can, pray. It helps tremendously. Lots of hot baths. Try not to sleep during the day so that you can at night. keep your mind occupied with different things that you like. Eat. Keep yourself hydrated. Stock up on any other items you might need beforehand.

I'm proud of you making this choice. You know it is for the best, so hang in there. Remember how many folks here will be rooting for you. *smile*

*more hugs*

jerry.

 
Old 06-29-2008, 02:23 PM   #3
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granny0 HB User
Re: Confirmed date for Rehab, drastic taper starts tomorrow...

Hi Em's Mom,

I'm so glad you have your date. Now you have the anxiety of not knowing when you will be going "out of the way". For your tapering, will hubby or Mom hold your pills so they are handed over on the schedule you prepared? That way, even if you are tempted, you can't take more than allowed. Since you are tapering, maybe it won't be as bad as you have yourself worked up for.

I'm wishing you all the best. Hey, that rehab sounds like a fun place to go

Hugs and prayers,

JB

 
Old 06-29-2008, 05:20 PM   #4
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emsmom HB User
Re: Confirmed date for Rehab, drastic taper starts tomorrow...

Hi All,

I just got finished up with my daughter's bday party - last family just left - and I find myself freaking out! I know its all going to start tomorrow. I'm anxious, nervous, can't seem to settle down etc. I guess I'm just scared of the unknown. I've never actually been in "full" withdrawals. I've started the process but always caved in.

Jerry, thank you for your kind encouraging words. At a time like this, I am holding on to every bit of encouragement I can get. I know this is for the best, so I'm going to remember why I've made this choice and hold onto that

Granny, yes hubby has ahold of my pills, otherwise I would not be in this position. There's no way I can give myself just two, I tried that before, I'm just not that strong. I use to think I had such profound will-power, however that is not the case when it comes to pills (as so many of us already know).

Yes, the Rehab Centre I've chosen does sound like alot of fun I went for a tour last week and its exceptionally beautiful. When I decided to be detoxed before I arrive, I realized that I'll actually get to enjoy my time there, instead of wishing the days were over

I hope everyone is having a great night, sleep well friends and thanks for all your kind words

Love emsmom

 
Old 06-30-2008, 01:43 PM   #5
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g8trgrl15 HB User
Re: Confirmed date for Rehab, drastic taper starts tomorrow...

Hey Ems! Just wanted to wish you best of luck and let you know that I'm thinking about you! We all do what we have to.. and are stronger people for it. I'm rooting for you 100%!!

g8trgrl

 
Old 06-30-2008, 02:20 PM   #6
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spark-o-cet HB User
Re: Confirmed date for Rehab, drastic taper starts tomorrow...

that is great news,i am very happy to hear that you have got it started.as for the taper before goin in rehab,that is also very good.i couldnt do it i would have to go in rehab using the very day but im glad you will be free when the start day gets here.good luck and im proud of you em.-spark

 
Old 06-30-2008, 03:40 PM   #7
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emsmom HB User
Re: Confirmed date for Rehab, drastic taper starts tomorrow...

g8trgrl & Spark,

Thanks guys! I am blessed to have you guys in my corner. I look forward to writing while I'm there, telling you all how things are

I hope all is well with you both.

Love,
K

 
Old 06-30-2008, 06:43 PM   #8
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emsmom HB User
Re: Confirmed date for Rehab, drastic taper starts tomorrow...

Oh boy, I am having a bad night. The w/d's are kicking in (I tapered 160 mg yesterday) and I feel rotten. I went out this afternoon (on purpose) with my husband, to try and get my mind off everything. Now that I'm home, I don't have too much to do, so I'm feeling alot of it.

I took two hot baths (within 3 hours), walked on my treadmill and elliptical machines...sweated out alot. My legs are so restless and I'm sweating, yet cold. I took a clonidine about an hour ago but don't feel any better.

I knew this was coming - anticipated every bit of it - I'm writing to let it all out.....

I'm a 31 year old mother of two beautiful little girls, and wife of a great man - how the heck did I get myself into this mess?

I guess its good to feel it all, as it will help with recovery. I remember someone on this board saying "remember everything you feel, the way your body feels and the way your mind feels. Remember that, and don't ever allow yourself to go through it again!"

I'd like to wish everyone a good night, hope all is well

Hugs,
emsmom (K)

 
Old 07-01-2008, 04:13 AM   #9
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mariecan HB User
Re: Confirmed date for Rehab, drastic taper starts tomorrow...

emsmom,
I know exactly how you feel. However, I did a 2 day taper and than stopped. Have you thought about cold turkey today and just get it over with. Sounds like you are already going through withdraw, why extended it? I know its a scary thought but just know we are all here for you. Today is day 6 for me and the RLS has been my worst enemy, but im hanging in there.
I am so proud of you, for making this decision, for you, for your family. Sounds like you have alot of support on the home front.
Keep writing. I found to be somewhat accountable. Does that make sense? It really helps to know other people know and understand just what we are going through-emotionally, mentally, and most of all physically. Also, when I felt the worse, I would gain encouragement from reading other message boards and following their road to recovery.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Mariecan

 
Old 07-01-2008, 05:36 AM   #10
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emsmom HB User
Re: Confirmed date for Rehab, drastic taper starts tomorrow...

Hello Mariecan,


Thank you for your encouraging words I agree, writing it all out does something for me too. I really need the feedback I get from everyone, as it helps me stay where I am and not have a setback.

I thought of going cold turkey. In fact, I was so set to do it, but my doctor and husband advised against it. I originally was at 800mg of Oxycontin (2 weeks ago). I went down to 400mg right away (OMG the w/d's were violent) and now I'm doing a taper every 3 days. Sun, Mon and today I took 240mg. Tomorrow, Thurs and Fri I'll be at 120mg. Sat, Sun and Mon I'll drop again to 60mg. Its fast and it sucks, however I really didn't have the option to go cold turkey. My doctor said I was at way too high a dose to just stop. I would have needed to be hooked up to an IV and be under doctors care 24/7 so that means I'd have to have gone into the hospital. I originally intended to taper as much as I could at home, then go into Rehab and detox there, but I found out some info and decided my best option would be to detox at home.

So next Monday, I'll be at 60mg, and I may just stop there and detox throughout that week. Then I'll walk into Rehab and hopefully have the worst behind me.

I really am terrified of whats to come. I can already feel intense w/d's and I'm going to taper again tomorrow! Woah, this has been tough, but I'm going to do it regardless of what comes at me. I have use of my brother-in-laws house starting today (He and his wife went to Europe for 3 weeks) so I have a house to myself so my girls don't have to see mommy go through all this. My brother-in-laws house is gorgeous, there'll be alot for me to do and its right across the street from our house so my hubby will be very close to check up on me. My mom also lives near me so she'll come to stay with me for a night or two. The best part is they have a huge jaccuzzi so if my legs get any worse then they are now, I'll be able to sit in the bath and get the circulation going.

Congrats on day 6!! You must be feeling better now eh? (lol, Canadian speak) I hope everything starts to go smoother for you You deserve it, especially now

Have a great day, I'm going to wake up my 3 year old and take her out for a walk. Everyone is sleeping in today, yet I've been up since 5am lol.

Take care, keep in touch

Loves emsmom (K)

Last edited by emsmom; 07-01-2008 at 05:48 AM.

 
Old 07-01-2008, 06:38 AM   #11
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jerry111165a HB User
Re: Confirmed date for Rehab, drastic taper starts tomorrow...

Emsmom,

Just thinking about you. Hope yer ok, keep the goal firat and foremost on your mind...

hang in there.

jerry.

 
Old 07-01-2008, 09:24 AM   #12
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emsmom HB User
Re: Confirmed date for Rehab, drastic taper starts tomorrow...

Thanks Jerry, thats exactly what I'm doing. I'm constantly remembering why I have to do this, and how important it is to me.

I just got in from the park. I took my 3 yr old out at 9:30am this morning. I had to get out or I knew my day would consist of laying on the couch, sucking on peppermints all day (they help with the nausea) and not being able to motivate myself later (cause I was on the couch all day lol). So, I guess I did something right today cause the w/d's aren't as bad as I thought. They suck, thats for sure, but moving around helps so much.

To anyone out there who is suffering from withdrawals, get out of the house and do something. Go shopping, ride your bike, go visit a friend, see a movie...whatever. Just find a way to get out of your house, and I promise you'll feel much better. I am on day 2 of a taper (Oxycontin) from 400mg - 240mg and I thought I'd be freaking out by now but I'm doing well

Tomorrow, I'll drop again to 120mg. I'm assuming it'll feel worse since I'm dropping again so soon, however I'll take my own advice - I'll even read this to myself tomorrow if I have to lol.

Wishing everyone a good day

emsmom

 
Old 07-01-2008, 04:48 PM   #13
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mariecan HB User
Re: Confirmed date for Rehab, drastic taper starts tomorrow...

Emsmom
just wanted to check on you this pm. I am praying for you. Keep the positive going. You know what I wish I would have done prior to stopping my meds. I would wrote down all the reason for stopping and keep them close by for the days you cant remeber why you stopped.
Mariecan

 
Old 07-01-2008, 06:36 PM   #14
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emsmom HB User
Re: Confirmed date for Rehab, drastic taper starts tomorrow...

Thats a great idea Mariecan! I have my notepad beside me and I'll do just that tonight (after my girls are in bed, cause I don't have 2 mins peace when they're still awake lol)

Tonight is kinda tough. The w/d's have really set in and I can't help but think "I'm going down another 120mg tomorrow!" When this is all over, I'll look back remember why I did this.

I'm off to take my third hot bath for the day lol.

G'night all,
emsmom

 
Old 07-01-2008, 06:56 PM   #15
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spark-o-cet HB User
Re: Confirmed date for Rehab, drastic taper starts tomorrow...

just remember em,as long as you are taking a pill that is stopping some of the w/ds,and will until you take nothing at all.right now you can leave the house and get out and go,but the lower you go the harder it will get.when the dreaded runs set in leaving the house will not be an option.did your dr give you that many pills and prescribe 800mgs oxy?that is crazy but i can believe it with oxy,tolerance builds fast from it.you would be better off to go ahead and not take anything and get it started if you are gonna stick to this.ive never heard of a rehab doin things the way it does there,3days to detox is not near enough time and they know it.good luck-spark

 
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