I'm New - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Secrets1983 · 07-22-2008, 11:45 AM

WOW. This feels like such a big step to even make a post.

I am a married 25 year old woman with an addiction to pain medication. I can't believe I just wrote that!!! I have been addicted for about a year and even though my family knows I have to take the pain medication for a valid reason they have no idea I take it for the high.

About a month ago I was switched from Vicodin to Percacet because I had some other health issue's arise. Since then I have discussed with my doctor that I don't want to have to live with pain forever so he referred me on to a local pain clinic. I am half relieved and half scared out of my mind because I know that more than likely means living pill free and it scares me to death. On the other hand it's a relief because i know I can't keep going on like this.

Right now I am currently waiting for my Dr. to call and let me know my script is ready for pick up. My body aches.. I took my last 2 pills last night at about 5pm and I am already panicking that he may not have it ready or something may come up. I am sure it will come thru but I am sure you all know what I feel like right now.

I never thought I would have this problem. It started out so innocently and now...... I am up to 10 percs a day most days and I know this road needs to come to an end. My appointment at the pain clinic is for Aug. 6th. A day that brings so many mixed emotions... Until then.. The Dr. said he is going to keep giving me the pills and we will go from there.

THANK YOU for letting me get this off my chest. For a long time now this is something that I have been living with internally and secrets are so harmful sometimes.

I am so sick of counting pills and going to a pharmacy with my head down. I want my life back. Then.. the other side of me is DYING for that phone call letting me know that script is ready for pick up..

Currently, my back feels like it is ready to snap, my legs ache, I feel jittery... I can feel W/D symptoms already and it scares me.

Thanks for reading this far! I look forward to getting to know you all.

AnnD · 07-22-2008, 12:02 PM

It is a hard place to be isn't it. Withdrawals are no picnic but they don't last forever and you can do it... however, you didn't say anything about the pain. Do you also have a condition that requires pain meds?

kelly378 · 07-22-2008, 12:24 PM

I am addicted to Vicodin/Lortabs as well. You are not alone. And you will find many helpful, supportive people on this board. I went for a week or so without the pills and got another script yesterday. Its a cycle that I am just frustrated with.... Keep visiting here and posting... Not only does it help you, but it helps others who are going through the same thing!

Wishing you love and light.

Secrets1983 · 07-22-2008, 12:47 PM

Thank you all so very much for your replies.... It feels like a weight has been lifted just opening up to some one about this.

I do have a medical condition that causes pain. I have endometriosis that is extremely painful. Have had several surgeries for it.... Had my last surgery in Dec. 07. That is when it started getting really out of control. In March I had all of my wisdom teeth taken out. Ended up with dry sockets... SO more pain pills were given. By the time that was over I was beyond hooked. Then about 1 month ago had a large cyst in my ovary rupture and that was when they went from vicodin to percacets for good..... Since then I have started taking about 8-12 a day depending and I really need to stop it here.

I just got a call from my Dr. refilling my spript that can be picked up anytime today and as soon as I took that call a feeling of relief just came over me. I feel so ashamed admitting this. I never thought in a million years would I ever admit that. Just yesterday I found this site and I know I stumbled upon it for a reason.

I have not even filled the prescription but I am already worried about running out for the weekend. I will get a bottle of 40... I just never thought it would come to this but it has and I think it's time step by step I face this monster.

I am so afraid of the w/d. I went thru it once a few months ago for one week and it was terrible.

Thank you for not letting me face this alone!

ohiogal · 07-23-2008, 08:04 AM

It sure is a hard thing to come out in the open about your addiction. I myself found that everyone already knew I had a problem before I even told them. We think we hide it well but we really don't. I can tell you that things will only get worse as far as the amount of perc's you take. You probably have already noticed that you have to take more than when you originally started. Your body builds a tolerance so quickly. That is where most of us get into trouble and start trying to find other ways to get the pills. I'm in a lot of trouble now for doctor shopping. I'm scared to death to go to jail. Please try to get some help before things get completely out of control and believe me it happens before you know it. Be proud of yourself that you have admitted you have a problem and you want to do something about it. Just don't wait until its to late.