Hey there folks. I'm tf. Years ago I was addicted to opiates. Strung out for bout 14 years on oxy, morphine, dilaudid, vicodin, etc., etc...just any opiate I could get my hands on. Well, I got myself clean and stayed that way for 12 yrs or so. Felt great! Well here I am, 52 yrs old and my dam hip went south on me. Yep, you guessed it....Total hip replacement surgery. They replaced my right hip Feb. 17th, 2009....17 days ago. Well, what do they give you a ton of in the hospital for pain??? Morphine.....Percocet.. and me bein me welcomed it with open arms, and a wide open mouth. Now you might be sayin to yourself, Hip replacement surgery gets ya about 4 days in the hospital, which is usually the norm. Sheesh, not me. 2 days after the replacement, I had to go back to surgery so they could open me back up and fix something. So.....this left me with a 9 day stay in the hospital getting loaded up on morphine and percs every day. Well, they released me, gave me a script for pain, and I came home to start my recovery. As of today, my hip is doin fine and no longer hurts, so I don't need the pain meds......right??? Well I think you all know the answer to that one. Anyway, I threw the rest of my percs away and am sittin here feelin like someone shot at me and missed, sh*t at me and hit. However, beins as I know just how good it feels when I'm clean of these opiates, I'm gonna mount up and take these withdrawls head on. Right now I'm hurtin like hell just like I did years ago. Only this time I know it WILL go away and I'll be just fine without the opiates. I guess I'm sharing this with you guys because I know there are some of you out there that have never gone thru this and are scared out of your wits. I aint scared at all this time around and would really like to help anyone who is. These withdrawls will bring the best of men and women to their knees. If there is anyone that wants to talk with me, I'm all ears. Hey folks, this CAN be done, and I'll help ya do it. We can email, talk here, messengers, whatever. Just let me know....
Good to here from you tf......Im CC and addicted to herion/meth. Im sorry that you having to go through all this again when you did so well....12 years sober. I would LOVE to be able to say that.....I cant even imagine myself doing it. Im really struggling and trying to taper on the gear and then off the meth. It was good to read your post because it gave me hope that I too can feel that freedom that you had. You're right though cause I am scared. Been like this 15yrs....who will I be? Will I make it?
Just really wanted to say thank you p;osting.....it gave me some encouragement and something to thin k about.
Hey there Lugar.....herion AND meth? hmmmmm, let's see...is it doable? well hell yes its doable. The human body is one high tech. machine, capable of doing whatever the owner of it wants to do with it. The very first thing you gots to know is ..... "It's doable." Lugar, I was so strung out on this stuff that quitting never even entered my mind. "There IS nothing better than this dope..." This was my thinking. I would remember back the time when I wasn;t doing it and think...."man, I sure was missing something" I didn't WANT to quit. It felt just to dam good! I never even fantasized about a life without my dope. Robbing people on the street.....breaking in to homes, taking life threating chances to get the fix. I was scared of nothing or no-one. My dope was my love....no-one get in our way. I've stole from close friends, my parents, hell, i even would mug a homeless person if i thought they had something of value. I guess I'm tellin you this so you can see just how deep I was in to this stuff so you might ask yourself, "How in the world can someone this bad ever be clean." Now, how on this earth did a low down piece of trash drug addict as I was, get clean?" I never "hit bottom" as they say Lugar, and I can't really put my finger on the exact reason I decided to shut it down. It just came to me one morning. I took about 400mg of oxycodone, went to work, walked in to my bosses office and told him what had been going on over the past 14yrs or so. (My boss was also my friend) well, with his and other's help, I cleaned up. So Lugar, you see my friend, it IS possible. Tell ya what, I'll cruise with ya on this board and let's see if we can get ya cleaned up. tell me anything ya want...ask anything ya want....say how your feelin.....oh, and you'll be sayin the phrase, "12 years sober" too. If a rif-raf like me can do it, sheesh, anybody can. So.....trade feelings with ya right now. As i type, i'm sweatin like a stuck pig, my chest feels like a strap is getting tighter and tighter around it, my stomach hurts to beat hell, head is pounding, and i'm weak as hell. TV is not interesting, not hungry, kinda shaking with chills, then hot again. Just feel like hell! BUT, I know why, AND i know it will pass without killin my silly ***. AND.....I KNOW what's comming after this....a beautiful, clean, crisp life of feeling great all the time WITHOUT drugs. I know because I already been there and lived it. This same beautiful life is waitin for you too Lugar, but your gonna have to take a detour thru hell to get there......Let's go!!
Last edited by mod-anon; 03-06-2009 at 10:47 PM.
Reason: Watch your language on the Boards.
TF, welcome and I'm so sorry to hear how lousy you're feeling. I just wanted to tell you my story is almost the same as yours. I was clean from heroin/methadone for 27 years. Six years ago, I had dental implant surgery followed shortly by back surgery. When asked what I wanted for pain, I played dumb and said, "Oh, whatever is strongest"....knowing full well I shouldn't be taking morphine or Percocet because of my previous addiction. The morphine made me sick, and at first the Percs did too. But eventually, I realized they gave me a ton of energy plus gave me a nice mellow feeling. At first, I only had one per day because it was difficult to get scrips....but then I got into pain management (for legitimate pain) where I could get 100 Percs instead of 40. Long story short, I took as many as I was prescribed, and more. And here I am....hooked on opiates again. Same as you. Unbelievable, isn't it? But I am SO glad we have found each other and the support of this board.
Welcome TFL! I recently went through the Opiate withdrawals and I never spent a worse time in my entire life. Talk to you doctor to give you something to help with the withdrawals. Be honest with them that you are a recovered addict and they may be able to prescribe something else to help you through the withdrawals and pain.
This is the place to be when you need advice or to ask questions. I'm still learning and recovering.
Hey tf! You out there today? Thanks for your reply,and yes,any help I can get would be awesome. Have pm you too. Feel pretty crappy today....how bout you? Im so glad that you know something better waits for you at the end of this. Hope so for me,too.
<removed> Congrats on the new hip, it will make a WORLD of difference when you are done rehab. Best thing for you is to get to PT and start your new journey on your new hip. Make your REHAB your new part time job. THink of it that way and the WDS will go away quick. Hey, you didnt do anything wrong in my mind. They gave you drugs for a purpose and you took them as directed. I wouldnt even care if you tapered properly off the stuff, because it was DR's orders. I am one week today clean of OXY and still battling. I will get there though. Hang in man.
"1 is too many and 1000 is not enough" -
Last edited by mod-anon; 03-07-2009 at 09:57 AM.
Reason: please keep these Boards anonymous
<removed> 1 week......its all in your head now my brother. this is where you grab hold of the nads and man up. i'm feelin ok, just a little ****** i had to do this. hell, i knew what was gonna happen but didnt have a choice. however, DAM that first shot of morphine felt good! haha... of course i knew it was "fake" and knew the withdrawls were commin. BUT, it aint so bad this time around cause i know whats commin.....feelin good WITHOUT the opiate. to you folks out there thinkin..."it aint never goin away, i'll never feel good again," yeah, the w/d WILL quit, and yeah, you WILL feel good without the dope. trust me, i been there...
Last edited by mod-anon; 03-07-2009 at 09:58 AM.
Reason: please keep these Boards anonymous