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Old 07-09-2009, 01:21 PM   #1
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MICHELLE30 HB User
I am addicted to opiates...

Hello all. This is the 1st time i have ever done any type of chat or message board, etc... So, I will start by saying I am addicted to opiates! I guess I am reaching out for some type of help!! I'm not sure what to say or do next. I guess I will start with my story, I have been taking lortabs,percocets,norcos, any kind of pain meds- (percocets being my fav..) for 7 years now. I took them at first to have the energy/high. Now I have to take them to not hurt. I have never been out in 7 years. I take 7-10 a day. Today is the first day that i have been almost out. I have had the runs, hot/cold chill bumps, head and body aches, i'm seeing foggy, I have the shakes! It's really bad... I have wanted to get off but physically cannot. Can anyone help me find a doctor to get on a methadone regiment around the shreveport,bossier or even east texas area??

 
Old 07-09-2009, 01:30 PM   #2
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Re: I am addicted to opiates...

Michelle,
First of all welcome to the boards. Second of all it takes alot of courage to admit that you have an addiction. That is definitely the first step in getting clean and starting recovery. There have been many thousands of people in the same situation as you. So are you sure that you definitely want to get off the narcotic medications? If so then I would suggest trying to find a doctor that prescribes Suboxone.

<removed> It is better than Methadone treatment in my opinion. You do have to be in mild withdrawal when you start on it. I think you have to wait at least 12 hours after taking your last opiate dose, then you start on the Suboxone and literally within an hour you will start to feel better and probably have no cravings for the narcotic medications. It is a great drug for people that are addicted to opiates and was created specifically for this reason. It is a partial antagonist meaning that is contains an opiate but also something called Naltrexone which counteracts any type of "high". You can not get high on this medication and there is a ceiling limit meaning if you take more than the max. it will not work any better and you can not get a high from it either.

I would suggest finding a doctor that does prescribe <removed>. Good luck and keep us posted ok?

brian

Last edited by mod-anon; 07-09-2009 at 10:06 PM. Reason: do not instruct members on how to find websites.

 
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Old 07-09-2009, 01:54 PM   #3
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Re: I am addicted to opiates...

well, thank you for the quick reply... I have heard a little about the Suboxone.. But, alot about the methadone. I have went to alot of doctors to seek help and all have told me about methodone but cannot prescribe it to me. So I leave with no help!! And so I asked one of the doctors if i should go to a methadone clinic. His response was that a person like me does not belong at a methadone clinic. I called one anyway it is 2 hours from my home. I would have to go to the clinic every a.m to get liquid methadone which will stay in my system until the next day. I would have to do that daily. I cannot do that! I work 5 days a week. I have a family. I just cannot do that. I'm sorry if i'm going on and on.. But, I do not know what to do.

 
Old 07-09-2009, 02:30 PM   #4
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Re: I am addicted to opiates...

ok. thanks

 
Old 07-09-2009, 02:49 PM   #5
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Re: I am addicted to opiates...

Hi..... I was on Suboxone for 4 days at the rehab I was in a couple of weeks ago. A few days after I stopped taking it I had mild mild withdrawals. It wasn't like the ones your having at all! Suboxone is a good way to go. I'm just glad I wasn't on it any longer than 4 days b/c the withdrawals may have been worse. But I would try it. Everyone is different so maybe you won't have withdrawals after getting off of it. Good luck I know how you are feeling right now!!!!! It does get better darlin !!!!! Hugs!!!!!

 
Old 07-10-2009, 09:17 PM   #6
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Re: I am addicted to opiates...

Michelle i have not been on methadone but, my friend has and she said it was horrible to get off. We both did Suboxone and it worked great we both have been sober for a while now. I highly recommend it. u should do some research on it, u can check on line and u can find a dr that way. I hope this helps I promise it does get better. I attend NA and AA meetings it has been a great help to me. I have met some wonderful friends there and on this board also. stay close we are here for you.

Lori

 
Old 07-14-2009, 06:49 AM   #7
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Re: I am addicted to opiates...

Hello Lori, thanks 4 the reply....This may sound CRAZY, but I don't think i'm ready to get off of the opiates now! Yes, I was the other day but now Im not. I know I sound like a rollercoaster but the other day was the 1st day in 7years i was close to being out and it sucked. And if I have to feel like that to come off, I guess i will just be on pills forever.That's how bad it was the other day, and i wasn't even out just way 2 close! ya know??? I did sit here and read and read and read other peoples post and honestly it just made me "jones" more. But then again there were a couple people that said positive things to me that made me want to be off- Anyway I know i'm not making sense but i do appreciate your input!
Always,
Michelle
Louisiana

 
Old 07-14-2009, 07:35 AM   #8
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Re: I am addicted to opiates...

Hello Michelle

There are many people here who do really care that you are able to get off the terrible rollercoaster of addiction. Truth is, though, is that you need to start caring about it from the depths of your own being before the will to succceed comes. I know this because I rode the rollercoaster for 12 years. My life became progressively a life that was only concerned with losing myself in a haze of addiction and not participating in, or in anyway enjoying, life anymore. Off the drugs now for 2 years, I can also say that my life then was a piece of garbage compared to where I am now.

Pills are not a part of my thinking anymore. My body has been restored so it functions on its own again. My brain works under its own steam again. And most importantly, I look forward to waking up each day and enjoying my world.

Are you missing parts of life because of the pills? When you go out for a night, are the pills first and then what you will wear and then what good interaction you might have with others? Do you prefer to be alone with the pills or with family and friends without them? Do you control your life or do the pills take charge?

Many times the question comes up here as to whaty it takes to 'hit bottom?" I think it comes when we realize fully that we have lost control of our own being and come to a point where we want it back. For me the realization came slowly over a long period of time and then hit me hard in the face when I had a complete breakdown and had no choice but to accept that I had no control anymore. The acceptance brought me to a state of determination to get the control back in my life. With the control back, I now live again with happiness and joy in my life. Do you have happiness and joy?

I wish you well as you think through where your life is now. If the pills are your source of joy and happiness, then maybe some changes are really needed.

Wishing you the best
reach

 
Old 07-14-2009, 07:46 AM   #9
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Re: I am addicted to opiates...

Hi Michelle, I couldn't agree more with what reachout said to you. You must be 100% ready and determined to fight the fight, and eager for a future without drugs before you can turn the corner to quitting. I know from being there myself. I am on a taper myself and am doing better than I had expected. I am due to cut back again today by 5 mg. (down to 10 mg). I am a bit anxious about that, but my desire to be DRUG FREE and FREE of the prison of pills is motivating me onward.
I do hope you reach a point of quitting. These drugs are insidious evils in our lives. Oh, how good it would be if there was pain relief without addiction. I think pain got lots of us into this boat, and even when/if the pain recedes, we still find ourselves taking the pills.
I wish you success in your future.

 
Old 07-14-2009, 08:22 AM   #10
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Re: I am addicted to opiates...

Hello Reach and Red... I am going to answer both of you guys in one post, maybe I will make a lil' more sense!! I understand where both of you are coming from. I do! I want you 2 know that i'm not some junky looking addict, i have a family i have a great job, i work in an accounting office. I would agree that the pills are in control. When I wake up, I take my pills. Ihave alot of fun with my family we have some kinda family thing every night and weekend.. but YES before I can function the pills do come 1st. one reason why, if i didn't take them i WOULD NOT function.. I'm sure you read my 1st post which was on Thursday- i think, may have been wed.- If you haven't then you should. That day was the worst day of my life, I could not function it was then that I did feel like a "junky" if you will. I don't feel that i'm living in a haze or could that be denial? I don't know anymore, i am happy. Thank you guys.
Michelle

 
Old 07-15-2009, 11:51 AM   #11
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Re: I am addicted to opiates...

Michelle:
You'd be surprised at how many "normal" looking people are addicted to the pills. A lot of people who have become addicted to opioid medications didn't get that way because we were looking for a high, most people that I know with this problem started using medications legitimately prescribed for chronic pain issues, but the unfortunate side affect to using opioid medications for chronic pain is that it is very easy to build up a tolerance to the medications, so more opioids are needing to maintain the same level of pain relief. At some point, the dosages increase to where the effect is more than pain relief and the euphoria of opiate drug use comes into play - it wasn't something that we were looking for when we started to use opiates, but it's a damn nice side effect - or so you think. Before long, usage of opiates become more about how the pills make you feel, not about relieving your pain and you get to a point where you believe you can't function without the meds, you tell yourself that the meds were prescribed, I just have a higher tolerance to pain meds than most people, or my pain is greater than what my doc thinks and that is why I need to continue using, but the reality is that your an addict, your depending on something to help you function, you like how the medication makes you feel and pretty soon it becomes about the pills, do I have enough, when is my next refill or you start cruising the internet for places where you can a prescription filled. Are you a "junkie" - I don't know, really difficult to quantify that term. Are you an "addict" - YES. Are you "normal" more so than you would have ever thought. Many opioid users, myself included, are successful people, doctors lawyers, engineers, mothers and fathers, but we rely on pills to start our day and to function, it becomes a crutch and beating the addiction will be one of the most difficult things you will ever do and at the same time, one of the most rewarding - something you will probably never share with other parents, maybe just with strangers on the internet, but beating addiction every day is rewarding.

Good luck!

Last edited by mod-anon; 07-15-2009 at 11:57 AM. Reason: Please use the Quick Reply button instead of Quote Reply.

 
Old 07-16-2009, 11:34 AM   #12
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Re: I am addicted to opiates...

Hello "manthathurt", thanks 4 the reply 1st off, and your right about me sharing my personal "secrets" if you will with complete strangers on the internet. I also want t o say that i hope i didnt offend anyone with the junky thing... I hope one day i can talk to people like me like you do with sobriety under my belt! I do really, i just don't think that i will ever be sober.. I cant see myself sober. I guess because i have been on them soooo long that i feel normal. I dont think hazy, i function fine, i am happy! But then again, it sounds so good when you talk about it all! Honestly i dont take them for the high i take them b/c my body cannot function without them. Thank you for your reply. Great talking with everyone considering you guys are the only ones i can tell my secrets to-
MICHELLE
LOUISIANA

 
Old 07-16-2009, 01:37 PM   #13
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Re: I am addicted to opiates...

Hi Michelle. I'm going to be blunt after reading your messages. I do not think you really want to be off of the opiates and moving UP the chain to Methadone is not the right way to go if you claim that you do want off them. After taking opiates for 7 years, it has clouded your mind as to what feeling good really is and how much more you can experience your life and family. I look back 8-10 months ago when I was on oxy thinking that I was functioning OK, interacting with my family, working and wondering if I was going to spend the rest of my life on it, to today when I am clean and oxy-free and there is no comparison. I enjoy life so much more and my family says that I am much more alive and want to do more than when I was on the oxy.

I don't recall if you stated the dose you are taking, but remember that the acetaminophen in Percocets can also do damage to your liver, especially over long use.

I took Percs because I needed them for pain. I weened myself off of them when the major pain went away through my own physical therapy and yes, I do have aches and pains associated with just plain ole getting old. I put up with them with an occasional Advil from time-to-time for relief.

You have to decided if you want to continue to take opiates and reduce the quality of your life over time, or buck up to the bar and realize that you are addicted to them and want to experience life for real. As I said, there is no comparison to the quality of my life now compared to back then. I can see where I was fooled by the drug into thinking I was doing great when I wasn't. I was fooled into thinking I wasn't hazy and I was feeling good. Only you can make the choice and decision. We are here to help you along the way to give you advice and to virtually hold your hand during the not so nice parts. I really hope that you make the right decision. There are methods to reduce your withdrawals, suboxone being one of them, so that you don't have to suffer like some of us did. Please think about your decision, if not for yourself, but for your family and don't let the opiates make the decision for you. Good Luck!!

 
Old 07-16-2009, 08:56 PM   #14
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Re: I am addicted to opiates...

Oh girl, do not get on methadone. That stuff gets in your bones and you'll REALLY have a horrible time getting off it. (No offense to methadone users....just my experience.)

As far as opiates in general are concerned, people have this mis-conception that a narcotic addict is out-of-it, falling down, or otherwise impaired. (Example: the folks who said Michael Jackson couldn't possibly have been on heavy-duty narcotics or he wouldn't have been able to rehearse.) They don't understand that we get to "normal' with narcotics....we get our energy from narcotics, we can function only when we take them. I'm sure none of my friends or family suspected I was taking 60-75 mg of oxycodone a day. (Well, maybe when I started babbling incessantly or energetically cleaning the house.) But seriously, you are rationalizing your narcotic abuse by claiming you're not in a haze and that it makes you feel "normal" and happy. And that may very well be.

But if you are not unhappy with what you're doing, there won't be much incentive to stop doing it. In my opinion, one must be completely disgusted with his/her life on narcotics before really committing to getting off them. It's really up to you.

 
Old 07-17-2009, 01:25 PM   #15
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Re: I am addicted to opiates...

Hello all... Everyone good today? Ready for the weekend? Well I thought I would address your replys. Denon, you are right, I don't think i am ready do be off. Well, somedays i am and other days i'm not.. Crazy. huh? To answer a couple of your questions, I take 7-10 per day of the 10mg. I do know it causes liver damage, my doctor checked my liver for the 1st time last year, which turned out fine- for now- i know! Yes that scares me too! I was on methadone to get off the Percs, but i failed a drug test (different doc) he discharged me that was last summer and now i'm back on opiates. Taking the methadone i would take 4 a day-they last longer than the tabs or percs and when i was discharged, the tabs/percs didnt seem to do it i guess b/c i got used to the domes so i was taking more that 7 but my doc has tapered me down a bit. So that's why i wanted to get back on the domes, i don't take near as many domes as i do tabs. Then eventually taper with those. I know about Suboxone, my insurance does not cover it. Once again, thanks 4 listening...
Michelle

 
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