Re: How do you know when you're addicted?
Welcome to the Addiction and recovery board. I am glad you came here because now is the time to ask questions before full blown addiction has its grip on you.
Addictive behaviour is apparent when we cross the line and use pain killers for any reason except legitimate pain. If we are not using them for a true medical reason, there is a problem. If this behaviour continues, a much bigger problem will come about. Our brains and bodies quickly become dependent on these opiates for that 'feel good' feeling. When we feed our brains opiates to feel good, we allow the brain to stop producing the natural chemicals that allow us to esxperience pleasure and feeling good. We teach our brains to depend on these opiates and, eventually, it becomes so hard to function at all without them. What feels good now will turn eventually to depression and isolation. We lose the ability to cope with life naturally and begin to live not for pleasure, but to feed the addiction.
I have traveled this road, Fergy, and it is a torture trying to regain our lives once the addiction has grabbed us. Please don't play with fire this way. Stop while you have been smart enough to ask questions and before you are begging for help to get off the drugs.
A gentle correction about the drugs not affecting your life negatively at tis point.... you have already become a bit of a liar as you do not let anyone else know what you are doing. Lying to ourselves and others is a behaviour that creeps into every addict's life. Lying by ommission is none-the-less lying. If we can not hold our behaviour up to the light of day, if we become closet people with secretive behaviours, then something is definitely wrong with what we are doing.
Heed your own doubts about your behaviour with the drugs. Think long and hard and judge yourself with total honesty. I wish you well as you come to a decision.