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Old 10-05-2010, 06:19 AM   #16
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Re: needing help

I can't go to an inpatient facility. I do have health insurance, but my husband is not aware of my struggle. I am going to look up a place for a meeting today and look into an outpatient facility.....thank u for your help I am committed to this......I know its a long road, but worth it!

Last edited by mod-anon; 10-05-2010 at 09:26 AM. Reason: removed quote

 
Old 10-05-2010, 09:45 AM   #17
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Re: needing help

Quote:
Originally Posted by needshelpchris View Post
I can't go to an inpatient facility. I do have health insurance, but my husband is not aware of my struggle. I am going to look up a place for a meeting today and look into an outpatient facility.....thank u for your help I am committed to this......I know its a long road, but worth it!
You're taking 30 pills a day and your husband isn't aware of it??? There is no way he's not aware on some level. He may be in denial. Whatever you're doing to keep yourself going may work for him right now. He may have an addiction or codependency of his own. Whatever. Addiction is a family illness. The whole family is sick, and the whole family would benefit from treatment and recovery. However, I know where you're coming from. My kids were 1 and 2 years old when I'd had enough of my addictions. There was no way I was leaving them to go into a facility. I went to an AA group that had a clubhouse, and hung around the clubhouse whenever I could. People do get clean and sober without an inpatient stay. What is dangerous in your case is the type of drug you're addicted to, the amount and length of time you've been taking it, and the daily way you've been taking it. Withdraw can be very dangerous. My husband had a real problem with me getting into a recovery program. Looking back, I think he liked the way everything was always my fault, and never his, when I was in my addiction. He felt superior, one up on me at all times. We are no longer married. I filed for divorce after I'd been sober 2 years. He really didn't want a sober wife

 
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Old 10-05-2010, 09:51 AM   #18
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Re: needing help

Hi Chris

I am so sorry that you left your doctor's visit feeling short-changed. I sure wish he could have been a bit more helpful! I do think, however, if he thought that the issue was over his head, it was good that he was honest about it.

I see some choices for you here. Another doctor can be tried surely. Just ask straight up if the doctor is able to help you with an addiction issue. Also, more help could be available with a psychiatric doctor. They do deal with addiction. An outpatient rehab could certainly work. Call the drug hotline in the front of the phonebook or a local hospital to ask for references.

I really, really feel compelled to give a gentle nudge here.... don't sell your spouse short. It was my spouse's support that was of the greatest help to me. Even with a taper, there is little chance of hiding withdrawal symptoms. There will be times of edginess, anxiety and general need. In a marriage we help each other along through life. I know you would help him. Expect the same from him to you. It is scary and embarrassing and undubtedly some crying comes with the territory, but the truth being out in the open is also liberating. It is a common thread among addicts that we stuff emotions down and end up trying to hide ourselves from the world.

Having an addiction, Chris, is serious, but it is not the worse thing in the world at all. It happens. We are all work in progress. Hiding the addiction has not done much good.... let it out in the open to those closest to you. Addiction makes us feel worthless and we forget how much those close to us love us and are willing to work hard alongside us to help. Okay, lecture done.

You remain in my thoughts and prayers.
reach

 
Old 10-05-2010, 10:23 AM   #19
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needshelpchris HB User
Re: needing help

Made an appt with an addiction specialist doctor......going to meeting at 12.....

Last edited by mod-anon; 10-05-2010 at 11:47 AM. Reason: removed quote

 
Old 10-05-2010, 10:37 AM   #20
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Re: needing help

Meep,
I just wanted to say that from what I understand, everyones addiction and recovery is different and theirs alone. When u say "the whole family is sick," I guess u would then agree that ur 1 and 2 year old were sick, too? I mean, as a family issue u said "everyones sick".....I don't know if I agree with that.....

Last edited by mod-anon; 10-05-2010 at 11:47 AM. Reason: removed quote

 
Old 10-05-2010, 12:47 PM   #21
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Re: needing help

Chris

I am thrilled that you are going to see an addiction specialist! Great choice. I believe here solid help will be found. :-) Great choice.

There is no doubt of the conviction in your desire. You are absolutley right that each of us must follow our own path to sobriety. Glean what is helpful for you as you read through the postings, deciding what is accomplishable for you and your strategies.

Keep posting. Your journey gives others the hope that we can face our addictions with resolve and helps those of us who have achieved sobriety to remember why we did.

Big hugs
reach

 
Old 10-05-2010, 02:43 PM   #22
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Re: needing help

Thank u Reach! I neded those hugs!!
Update: have appt on Thursday with specialist to start detox program feeling hopeful and strong went to a meeting at 12 today, found it somewhat helpful......and will go again tomorrow.
Again, ur support is honestly one of the things keeping me hopeful....ill keep u posted!
And big hugs back to u!! Thanks again

Last edited by mod-anon; 10-05-2010 at 05:24 PM. Reason: removed quote

 
Old 10-06-2010, 05:01 PM   #23
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Re: needing help

Hi Chris

Wishing you well at tomorrow's appointment. I am sure there are a million thoughts and feelings going through you, but I pray the biggest is hope. As I faced my own withdrawal, I was scared out of my mind to do it, but, thankfully, even more scared not to do it.

You are going to be okay, Chris. You really are. I don't know anyone who has determinedly followed through on a recovery plan and is not okay. We regain our happiness and esteem once again and remember how to live life without the drugs. Retain all the lessons you will be learning... all that information is gold for the rest of our lives. You are so worth a full and happy life.

I'll be thinking of you
reach

 
Old 10-06-2010, 05:47 PM   #24
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Re: needing help

Thank u Reach I have gotten myself down to every 3.5 hours between meds on my own since Monday. I used to just take them every 1-2 hours. I spoke with the addiction doctor over the phone yesterday and he said this "Chris, u don't have to live in this pill prison any longer", I felt like that was a good way to put it.....I cried, and he said "I CAN help u!" I am scared....though also feeling uplifted by the words I read from your support and my doctors encpouragement, as well My appt is at 2pm tomorrow and should last about an hour......I'm not sure what happens after that......but I will post again once I have seen him and a plan is in place.
Thank u again, the encouragement from ur words remind me everytime I read them that I CAN do this!!! I deserve my happy, loving, laughing, smiling self back! I miss her!!!!
Hugs again, for everytjhing!!
Chris

Last edited by mod-anon; 10-07-2010 at 07:53 PM. Reason: removed quote

 
Old 10-07-2010, 06:59 PM   #25
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Re: needing help

Hi

How did the visit go today? I hope you found more encouragement to know that you are going to be that happy, confident self again. Boy, I sure remember feeling that I had so lost myself and wondering if I would ever find myself again. Well, I did! In the process, I learned to hone the good parts and work on the parts that needed improving. I learned to let go of all the control I thought I had to have in all things. Life is gonna happen in its own way many times no matter how we try to control a situation. I have learned to let go and be much less hard on myself.

Hey~~ good to see you have started stretching the times between doses. Really good.

Have you and the doctor worked out a plan for you? Share with us when you can.

I am going to sign off early tonight... had a rough day with some tests at the heart doctor's office and am ready to call it a day. Everything went fine, but it is still a pretty emotional thing when they run me through the paces. :-).

Manana
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Old 10-08-2010, 06:39 AM   #26
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Re: needing help

Hi reach,
I don't know how I feel......I was a little pout off by this guy. He wants me to be in full withdrawal (no taper) and start suboxone in his office. He wanted to take my meds yesterday and have me come in this morning. Matybe I'm not ready? That scared me.....I made the appointment for Thursday morning next week.....I need to be without vicodin for 24 hours and in full withdrawal and that is frightening. When he wanted to take my pills......that sort of made me mad......I don't know what I'm feeling? Any suggestions?

Last edited by mod-anon; 10-08-2010 at 12:12 PM. Reason: removed quote

 
Old 10-08-2010, 02:37 PM   #27
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Re: needing help

Hi CHris

Well.

This is a tough one for me. My decision, for me, was not to take suboxone or any other new prescription when I began my own plan. Matter of fact, when I saw a psychiatrist in the begining, I actually wrote a letter to him and presented it ( I was so deep in depression by that time that I could truly not speak, words just wouldn't come out. In that letter, I emphasized to NOT even suggest any ther drug as I would not take it. What did he do each time I went for 3 weeks? He wrote out a script for a drug. DUH! I just handed them back each time. He finally decided he could not wotk with me at all and sent me to a licensed clinical social worker and she was the one who helped me a great deal with the depression, the withdrawal, etc. My family doctor prescribed my drugs on a tapering scheduler and she helped me working with hypnotism and behavioural therapy. These were the things that worked for me. I was blessed in that sober thinking became a part ofg my life long before my tapering was done, very early on actually.

I have learned, mostly from this site, that suboxone can be a very useful tool for some who have difficulty reaching and maintaining sober thinking. It does take away all withdrawal immediately and has a ceiling effect so that no high is going to be reached. One of the drugs in the suboxone compound actually was used for many years to treat alcoholics. I would never condemn in any way anyone's choice to use it as long as it is done with full knowledge of the drug and it's properties.

Sub is addictive. Unless you intend to take it lfe-long, there will come a time that a withdrawal must be made and coming off of it is like any other opiate withdrawal. Sub does contain an opiate, so withdrawal will cause symptoms. Sometimes it is used very short term to help with withdrawal, but withdrawal symptoms will still present to some degree. Often nowadays, it is prescribed long term and there are many stories on this board of coming off of it. For some, it has been a lifesaver; for others, it has been a horror.

This is a decision that will have to be made according to your own thinking, Honey. It is really a hard decision. My advice to you is to spend the next week really researching all you can find concerning it. Perhaps you will need to talk to the doctor again, making sure to tell him of your fears and all other emotions about this path. If you do decide to take it, fine. If you decide it is not the path for you, voice your objections and do not be coherced into anything that does not feel right.

Praying as you make your decision
reach

 
Old 10-08-2010, 06:29 PM   #28
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Re: needing help

Hi Reach,
Good to see yor words today. I have been thinking, crying, shaming, blaming, hating, myself all day for this mess! Guilt so deep for what I have done to myself and those around me. I
Funny thing is, this doctor did not mention any other option except SUB....I don't know why?? I will take your advise and take the week to really contemplate my decision here.....I don't want to gwt off one substance to then be hooked on another....I am continuing my own "taper" at home.....now at 4.5 hrs between, and. 10 hours between bed and waking up......
Ill post more, as I progress and decide which option is best for me.....
Chris

Last edited by mod-anon; 10-08-2010 at 08:45 PM. Reason: removed quote

 
Old 10-10-2010, 07:48 PM   #29
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Re: need a success story

I'm supposed to start suboxone Thursday...and after reading the stories of people having to "get off" them, I wonder why docs even prescribe it? if you had it to do over again, would you skip the suboxone, and wean off norcos instead? Any advice helpful....thanks, christine..

Last edited by mod-anon; 10-10-2010 at 10:49 PM. Reason: Please use the Quick Reply button instead of Quote Reply.

 
Old 10-10-2010, 07:58 PM   #30
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Re: need a success story

I'm supposed to take my last pain med Tuesday night. I am allowed anti anxiety between the last pain med and the suboxone. What did the suboxone make you feel like when you were in withdrawal and how long did it take to feel the withdrawal stop?
Thanks so much for your help!

Last edited by mod-anon; 10-10-2010 at 10:49 PM. Reason: Please use the Quick Reply button instead of Quote Reply.

 
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