i am not an alcoholic as i don't have to drink and don't get drunk every day. sometimes i may treat myself to 2 beers when i get home from work, but i don't always have to and don't feel like i need it. lately since i've gotten into my late 20s, drunk isn't the same anymore. i have blacked out before and a few times gotten sick, bad hangovers, etc. i remember 2 years ago it wasn't like this.
obviously the remedy has been to slow down. i have gotten better and don't go out as much, but i still feel like i do excessive drinking more than i'd like, obviously during those special outings is what i mean. don't get me wrong, a lot of people my age go out and party, and i think it's normal to a degree, but i'm getting tired of the hangovers and drinking too much. i have a serious girlfriend and she hates partying, too. so a lot of times if i party hard and she doesn't, the result is she gets mad at me. it's just not worth it anymore.
so, i've got the right priorities, the right mentality, and i work on it, but i still struggle with a problem with all this...
once i get to a point of a nice buzz, where i should say "okay, no more," i instead keep drinking. or take a shot and open a beer, completely oblivious that the shot will catch up to me in 15 minutes when i open another beer. it's like i don't know the line between buzzed drunk and too drunk. i keep thinking i'm fine, i'm fine, i'm fine, then all of a sudden it's 2 hours later and i feel loopy and don't remember what all happened in the last hour or so.
anyway, i really cannot deal with having this problem anymore. i've told myself i would get better, but then it always happens again. i just don't know what to do. i'm sure the obvious recommendation is to stop drinking, but i'm not an alcoholic so i don't feel like i need to stop, just that i need to understand a better way to control and limit myself. day drinking is the worst too, because there isn't a clear stopping point (like going to bed), so i always keep drinking thinking i can stop at any time and sober up before going to bed.
any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. please don't reprimand me and tell me i'm killing myself or anything, because i don't do stupid things when i'm drunk like drive or get angry, etc. i just get silly drunk and i don't want to do it anymore. plenty of people i know my age do this 2-3 times a week, so please just recognize that i want to learn how to stop at my limit if you can offer any advice.
First, thank you for being a responsible drunk. I mean that. I really respect people who enjoy a hard party but have the brains to not get into their car and make it someone else's heart break.
That said, I personally think you might be an alcoholic. The fact that you start your post by declaring you are not an alcoholic and end it by saying you drink to excess and can't stop yourself.... well, that's pretty much the definition of being alcoholic.
On the other hand, there are degrees and types of being an alcoholic and the fact that you are aware there's an issue (regardless of how you define it), and are interested in getting things straightened out point in the right direction. The first thing I would suggest is to try and go 3 weeks without drinking. That's all. No drama, no big deal. Just 21 days without drinking. I think that if you keep your mind open, it will change your opinion about whether or not you should identify yourself as an alcoholic or not. Because before you really would know how to fix anything, you have to know what the problem is. And if it turns out that you can easily do that, then you may have a different type of issue (binge) with alcohol. But it would be best to know what the issue is first.
well actually i posted on an "addiction and recovery" board so i felt like it was important that i pointed out i was not an alcoholic first, otherwise i am sure that is an easy conclusion to come to when anyone posts in this forum (no offense). i posted here because i figured some may be able offer advice for situations that i describe (binge).
i don't need alcohol, don't crave it, don't binge drink all the time, i just sometimes party and drink in excess when i go out. like i mentioned, 2 years ago i seemed fine and remembered everything, didn't get sick, etc. age is increasing and so are the consequences of drinking. but the problem is my mentality while drinking does not seem to remember "oh if you keep drinking you'll be too drunk and sick and hungover," instead i keep thinking that i will have a more pleasant drunkenness like i did when i was younger. it's hard to explain how i feel, but i guess just conquering the mental state of mind WHILE having a buzz is what i need help with.
like i said, i can go home from work and have 2 beers and call it quits without a problem. it isn't like i need the alcohol, it's just that i lose my ability to understand how much i have drank and should continue to drink after i start to develop a consistent buzz. that's not really a definition of an alcoholic, that is actually the definition of what alcohol does to the body/mind.
It's funny. As I read your second post of thought of the joke that a third drink sometimes makes a woman's dress fall off. You know they're not planning for that but that extra bit of drink just makes material slippery.
Have you tried controlling the issue with money? Take only enough money to buy what you can tolerate and will get you back home?
if you are blacking out, if you can't control your intake once you start drinking, you are an alcoholic even if you don't drink every day. Read the AA check list. Read the AA big book, and hit some meetings. You won't relate to everyones story, but they will relate to yours. One of the suggestions if you don't think your not an alky is to belly up to bar and just have 2 or 3, if you cannot do that, you are definitely an alky. I am too, so I'm not sitting in judgement. It's not all that bad of a thing by the way, recovery is a whole new wonderful life. It gives you the strength to get through the hard times. Anyway, it won't hurt you to investigate. and thanks, your post has given me the desire to head back to the tables.
Did you hear the way you introduced yourself? I am not a alcoholic... excuse me? You are a alcoholic and you can try to break it down anyway you choose so it will seem like to you that you are not a alcoholic. The most dangerous thing is denial.. Go visit a AA meeting and see what you can learn. You dont have to tell your name or stand up in front of people or say anything at all. Just listen... Best of luck to you.
Just yo reiterate, i posted on an addiction and recovery message board. My initial thought was that everyone would reply "youre an alcoholic" if i even posted something as simple as "i like to drink, am i an alcoholic?" i mean no offense, i just think there is such a thing to have back pains and anotger completely to go to a kidney section of a healthboard and ask if you have kidney problems. A lot of people are going to assume you have kidney problems since you are posting in a kidney problem forum. So i felt it was necessary to declare im not an alcoholic, but how can i party less?
Secondly i can easily drink 2-3 and no more. That has never been a problem.
The problem is if i go to a party or if there is a celebration where people drink at for hours, long sports games, etc, i drink faster than people, have a higher tolerance and generally i end up drinking more than i wanted to. Maybe i chose the wrong avenue to ask for suggestions by coming to an addiction message board, but i figured this particular issue might be one to cope with in reasonable ways others have tried and i simply havent thought of yet. This really should never have turned into a debate about how my post is constructed implies that i am an alcoholic, that doesnt seem helpful.
But i digress. I will review an AA checklist. I do have OCD and this has been an obsession lately, also in part due to having several parties in the last few weekends that make me focus on the obsession even more. I guess i could be an alchy, but i have obsessed about this before and it will pass and drinking will slow when the parties my friends throw slow. Maybe it sounds bad to you guys, but my post is bold considering so many others my age party just as hard and they consider it normal, not signs that they are alcoholic. And for the record, i never asked anyone to diagnose me with alcoholism in this thread. And lastly, no offense but i would never take medical advice from people on forums either, so no reason to try.
Lastly, one thing that makes me more obsessive about this issue is that my family is very religious and no one drinks except my cousin, who is an addict (probably including being an alcoholic), and as of 50 years of age, my mom, who drinks a couple of glasses of wine a day. I just worry that those 2 instances in my family have some sort of implication on my drinking habits, but i dont know if it truly does.
Thanks for any insightful advice. Btw, i am typing this all on a phone, so sorry for grammatical problems--im not drunk, heh.
The Following User Says Thank You to wowzers For This Useful Post: Moller (08-09-2012)
Just yo reiterate, i posted on an addiction and recovery message board. My initial thought was that everyone would reply "youre an alcoholic" if i even posted something as simple as "i like to drink, am i an alcoholic?"
You seem to be under the impression that the only people that viewed your post are also people struggling with addiction. I can't speak to the others, but in my case I simply look at all new posts every now and again and if it looks like something I am interested in or can contribute to, I'll join in. I completely believe that there are some people who can drink and never become alcoholics. I believe there are other people who abuse alcohol but never become alcoholics. I believe there are still other people who are "functional" alcoholics because they are alcoholics but never let it cause them to drive drunk or impact their relationships. Then there are full blown alcoholics that have no control. Having read your posts, I think you fall somewhere between "functional" alcoholic and "full blown" alcoholic. I also think that you are very much in denial. If anyone else had posted what you had, and you had read it, would you really think they didn't have a problem with alcohol?
No one is diagnosing you. And people are trying to help you recognize that you have a problem and that you need to address it now. If you dont want anyone's advice then why are you asking for it? You need a dose of reality. You have a drinking problem and it's only going to get worse if you don't take control of it now. You have to take the first step... AA. There's no harm in listening to other people tell their stories now is there? Maybe then you can identify the problem for what it really is. Best of luck to you.
I just said that i will read the aa checklist to see if i think i am an alcoholic and the next person who responds says, "you are very much in denial." How? I just said i would look into it.
How someone can conclude i am somewhere near full blown alcoholic from my posts is surprising. I never said it was destroying any relationships, job, car, etc, so i dont know what trigger made anyone believe this.
When i read my posts back it seems like i was too wordy, but my underlying theme seems relatively simple: "i am usually a very controlled drinker, but sometimes i overdrink and would like to hear suggestions for how to stop that when it is a possibility."