hey second go, you could be a professional when it comes to advice on here. You are so right about it getting harder. I ran out of my meds with a day and a half to go. I had some lortab 10s but that is nothing compared to roxis at 30mg each! Anyways, it eased the withdrawls somewhat but I still kept sneezing. It was all I could do to get through the days. As I have been only having about 1 to 2 pills of roxis for the last week. I hate running low but I have a friend that I usually end up giving some when she runs low. she is the one with the tabs. then when i am running low I have to take hers. It has become a viscious cycle. I have no energy. even when taking the meds. I know eventually I will get off completely. I just felt so horrible this past week. My knee I think is going to start feeling better soon. I hate to say so and then it not but it felt great the after the first 2 days then by week 1 started hurting like crazy again. My doc had the same surgery and he said his did the same thing and then by week 3 it started easing up a lot. Something in there has to rejuvenate he said. Anyways.....just a little down I guess. I think it has something to do with all the chemicals going haywire with the lack of meds and then today I got them filled and I have only taken 3 today but almost immediately after the first pill (within the first hour) all of the wd's went away. Isn't that amazing? Don't they make something for that? Something that takes away the wd's without doing detox? Not methadone either! God I never want to do that after reading some horror stories on here.
Well I wish I was as strong as you are. Good luck and keep on resisting the temptation. The depression and agony are not worth the few mins of bliss. Or hours I guess if you get enough. what do they say "one is too many and a thousand is never enough" ttyl
you said you ran out of your meds. Its interesting because the times i quit was when I either ran out of meds, or a buddy didnt come through with some meds he owed me.
Sometimes it takes an external force to make it hard for us to access the pills, so that we can 'start' focusing on getting clean.
I really got serious about quitting this second time, when a friend of mine said he was gonna come by with two morphine 100s he owed me, well he didnt and I suffered that night, but I woke up, and decided I was gonna call it quits right there...and I did. And when he came to me 3 days later (grrrrrr) I told him to keep them (almost as if i had contempt for him not bringing them to me, and I wanted him to deal with them and suffer now...note this was not a friend rather an aquaintance who i barely knew, so I didnt have much emotional investment). I dont wish this on anyone but i was fired up that day, and it turned out to be my blessing in disguise. I still see this guy time to time...he still uses, and he doesnt seem like hes going to stop anytime soon (hes battled on and off since he was 15....hes 25 or 26 now, still hustles for whatever he can get. We are cordial, as a matter of fact hes quite informative, but thats where our interaction stops.
on a lighter side of things. I love not needing opiates. For sooo long I needed them to get through my day, they became like part of my diet. I couldnt be social without being on something...ive finally got back to where I can deal with reality (sometimes it bites....but so does spending you know how much on drugs!). For those who think they will never get back to that normal feeling, its completley possible, and I used to think the same way, I was very cynicle, and started to view the world differently, in a negative light (thats just the drugs altering and affecting your dopamine and seratonin levels.
yes we will always think about our drug of choice, that doesnt go away. but now when I think about it ..its not a craving..its more like an "ive conquered this part of my life and dont want to look back". I also worry about all the people, especially teens who will be facing withdrawals and detox in the next while, because holy $%^& a lot of people are on pills, and they are either going to be on them forever, or will have to face the dreadful detox day!...
But hey!! I did it Twice, plenty people have done it on here! I dont know how I stumbled on this board but its great, and I think everyone should forward the link to this site to someone that is using alot. And say that your not judging them, rather this is a board that helped you and think that they may find it informative......ready for bed, good nite ppl!
You are truly amazing second go. I miss you not posting on here as much but I know your life is more complete now and you are not going through the struggle still. I am so happy for you. Now marry that girlfriend and have a couple babies!!! Only if you are ready. Remember life is short and don't let someone u love get away. I am doing the taper. I have made up my mind. I went through hell till I got my script and I am not doing it again. I told my friend (after I paid her back the pills I owe her) that I can not give her anymore if she runs out because I run out and it is hell for me. I have enough though to do this and I am taking aleve on a regular basis and I think it is starting to work. Second go, I am wondering if I will be able to cut down to 2 pills a day. and maybe stay on them and not raise the dose. I know u get tolerant but I am going to try to switch things up and work out more and I really don't think I crave as much mentally as physically. That is not to say I don't to some degree because I think my brain chemicals are messed up and until they can produce some of their own feel good rays I don't know what to do. I have been on medicine for 3 years but before that I have never took anything except zoloft and I take cymbalta now so I am hoping some of the chemicals in that will help my brain start firing again. Do you think a lower dose of pain pills will help me achieve that. I am going to do baby steps and if I can cut down to 2 a day then maybe I can stop. In the beginning I only took 1 in the morning cause that is my worse time and then I sold the rest to a drug addict friend (I am not proud of that) but she kept hounding the hell outta me and had plenty of money and I was broke and needed to buy school clothes for my kids. Like I said I aint proud of it. But sometimes it is like oh well she is gonna go get em somewhere so what the he$$. anyways that part is over for me. When my doc gives me a drug test will he be able to tell I have decreased my meds. I really don't want him to know yet.
Today I have only taken 1/2 pill at 9 and 1/2 pill at 1pm. then at 3 I took a ritlin cause I have no energy. You know with the fibromyalgia comes chronic fatigue and I don't want to sit in house all day. It is beautiful out and 75 degrees here. I love the south. It is so peaceful. Not much going on though. I am so proud of you second go. U are truly inspiring for all of us slackers here! lol.... have u heard from ravensgirl. I miss her. I don't know what is going on with corissa. read some of his posts. Something is missing. I feel like something else is going on with him and he just isn't ready to share. I told him we won't judge him. he is having a really tough time of it. I feel bad for him. Musicman is posting some again. He is tired of the taper he says. I know what he is going through totally. I think he and I are going through sort of the same situation because he says he really doesn't exceed his meds. That is what I don't understand. If you have 120 roxi 30mg pills and take them as prescribed with an occasional extra if pain is bad, are u an addict of just physically dependent? In my experience with addicts (friends in low and high places) they usually gobble up as many as possible as soon as possible. That is why I am not convinced that I am full fledge addict. I am full fledge dependent on them though but I have no desire to do them excessively. I am messed up second go! I am having confusing feelings again about my ex whom I thought I hated and was through with. We have a lot of history together. I can count on him sometimes and sometimes not. He just has such mood swings and such an addictive personality that if he does go to doc and they give him xanax or benzos he will go crazy on them and it is awful. I can't trust him to just do what is right with meds. At least i am not freaking out and slobbering on myself. that is what he will do if he takes xanax. Oh well I guess time will tell. I am sorry to ramble. Just feeling a little melancholy about everything. I have an 18 year old daughter that acts 30. I should be glad but I feel like she is giving up her youth. she is so serious. she goes to college in her second year and works a job. she has a bf that is in a dead end job and doesn't want to go any further. he lives in a house his granny owns so he don't pay rent therefore he is happy with 8 dollars an hour. She is going to break up with him though I just feel it. She is beautiful and could have anybody. I don't know what attracts her to him. She likes guys with dark hair and dark eyes. Like indians or italians. she is red haired and green eyed and doesn't have any freckles cause i always kept sun screen on her. she is a beauty. there is just something going on and she won't tell me and i am worried. thats what us moms do we worry! lol....she will be 19 soon and acts like an old lady i told her. lol....well take care and keep posting us good things.
The following user gives a hug of support to oxygirl: second go (03-18-2011)
just droppin in to say yes i am still off opiates, yes i still read everyones threads, and yes you can get through whatever battle your up against.
you just need to talk, ask questions, and answers to small solutions will show themselves..then answers to the bigger questions will come to you. you just have to keep the communication going. there are so many knowledgable people on this board. and i keep reading about successes.
so keep the comunnication going, I ranted for 2 months before I got all my answers and support. But couldnt have done it without the people here. And if you have a friend with an issue, refer them to this board, because it is great for specific issues (home->message boards-->topics) to this one which is my favorite because I know so many people w addictions going through recovery.
Heres to approx 60 days off opiates! thnx guys and good luck!
The following user gives a hug of support to second go: Biggzzz (03-18-2011)
The Following User Says Thank You to second go For This Useful Post: Biggzzz (03-18-2011)
well thats great considering that your body still requires the medication, but you are on the right track by attempting to cut back. Your body will adjust to you needing less and it will be less uncomfortable for you as time passes. Good goin, that takes determination, keep it up..the less youre on, the easier the landing when you decide to take it down another notch!
I remember thinking that I would always need the pills to get through the day, and feared having to cut down, and eventually kick the habit. But we go through stages...--> frustration ->fear ->pain ->awareness ->weakness ->depression -> and then eventually we get to a point where we can forget about the meds running our lives.
My friends occasionally use, and It doesnt bother or trigger me anymore. It took me a few months to get to this point but I did it, and it is something I didnt think I could do. Keep it up, Your a great help to alot of people on here too ...enough pattin each other on the back...lets keep fightin this. Again, I fear the upcoming generation of people who just found out about pain meds in the last few years, got into them heavy, and are going to be seeking help.
If youre out there, on meds that you are not prescribed, the earlier you attempt to get off of them, the easier it will be.
I had a friend tell me "be careful..it creeps up on you then your into a habit..." I said "yea....I can quit now....but I can also quit next month..."
I didnt know how serious it was and I chose to quit 'later'.....well 'later' meant a year later, and it was very difficult getting clean. However It is possible with the right guidance and inner strength. It took a few of my friends telling me that they notice a difference in me, for me to take it seriously as well.
Im greatful I was able to find the strength... and this board!, cause id probably still be on that downward spiral.
Last edited by second go; 03-18-2011 at 10:05 AM.
The following user gives a hug of support to second go: Biggzzz (03-18-2011)
Couldn't have said it better my self, great information in that last post Second. You got this man! and OG I have all the faith in the world in you that you can overcome this too! I'm here for you guys!
The Following User Says Thank You to Biggzzz For This Useful Post: second go (03-18-2011)
It really did take a lot of determination just to not take that 4th pill. I haven't noticed any increase in my pain level. My goal is to see how far down I can go and determine how much "pain" is real pain or withdrawl pain. There really is a difference between the 2. Withdrawl pain makes u hurt more Everywhere. The physical pain is always going to be there from my injuries but I really am hoping to control it with otc meds or a very low dose of pain pill and a combination of the otc meds. I do not want to be a slave to the drugs. I have been doing this a week so pretty soon I am going to eliminate another 1/2 pill. I currently am taking 1/2 every 4 hours which adds up to 3 pills a day. which is 90mg. That really is still a lot compared to like people who take 4 percoset very 6 hours. There is only 40mg of oxycodone in those. all together i mean. So I am going to wait a few more days and try to knock down 1/2 more. Ima chicken!!!!!! lol I still feel better though and guess what if my "friend" leaves me alone this will be the first month I go back to the doc and am not running to the drug store because I am short! That is a great feeling in and of itself. Thanks guys.....some of the best friends a girl can have. You have been lots of help and listened to me go on like crazy about stuff not even related to the meds. I do appreciate it.
all i can say is youve got the right idea and plan. Many people would say oh I have Fibromyalgia so im gonna hit my doc up for as many pills as i can and have a blast. Youre taking the responsible and sensible route. Dont be afraid to taper slowly, but I do agree that tapering is the right idea. You'll know when you hit your unbearable point, and I agree u are dependent but not addicted.
People all around the world take medicine for different illnesses, its just a matter of finding out what you 'need' right... cool, keep'er up
The Following User Says Thank You to second go For This Useful Post: oxygirl (03-19-2011)
i think i made a mistake in another thread but i am at 67 days clean, to clarify.... i remember making a post saying "I want to be one of those people saying ive been clean for 2 weeks". Just givin myself a pat on the back, and givin everyone else some positive motivation. Nowhere to go but up yall, and im not talkin about gettin high! cheers
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to second go For This Useful Post: Biggzzz (03-24-2011), oxygirl (03-24-2011)
So totally awesome or as they would say where I live "Yeeeee hawwww". lol.... I am glad for you second go and I have dropped your name to a couple of the new guys on here to look up you and see how and what you have done and accomplished. How's the gf and worklife? Good I hope. Have you heard from Ravensgirl? I didn't know if maybe she sent u a private post or anything. Just curious if she is okay. Hopefully she is. You, her and Corissa are the ones I remember talking to when I first joined. Well I am glad to hear that you are still doing well. Keep encouraging everyone else on here because U truly can pat yourself on the back and give "high" fives cause you have stayed clean.
Both of you guys are inspirational to everyone on this board. You guys are great online friends. Isn't it amazing how people from different places, that are different ages, different genders and have different backgrounds be brought together by a common thing? Even though it is opiates! lol....You guys have enriched my life just from knowing you the little time I have. Keep up the good work and all the help that you provide for the people on here. Especially some of these new young folks. They seem so lost at times. Ttyl.....
The following user gives a hug of support to oxygirl: Biggzzz (03-25-2011)
The Following User Says Thank You to oxygirl For This Useful Post: Biggzzz (03-25-2011)
likewise to you both, I think inspiration is very much alive and a big part of this board. Im gonna come out and say it ...this @#$% is HARD... but its not immpossible, and when we talk with like-minded people its so much more useful. So yeah Thanks to you guys too, and no I havnt heard from Ravensgirl in a while OG....RG....where are yaaaaa? ha hope doing well, if not, give us a hollr and lets work this out, all of us together!!!
Give 'Opiatesgotme' a shout guys, unless you have already ...shes 23 days clean! booom!
im at work now, been on a cookie binge but think i over did it...talk soon heh
and lurkers! make a thread, we wanna hear from ya cmon!!!
I agree 100% talking with people who HAVE the same problems/issues as we do makes it easier because they understand unlike people who have NEVER taking an opiate or other drug. They couldn't even fathom what we go through not only coming off of them but while being on them, the chase for more, the want the need the urgency... ughh so happy I don't have to worry about that anymore. I just gotta keep myself from ever falling back into that bottomless pit.
depends on what you like and what you want to get out of it.... I hate Hate HATE cardio but force myself to do atleast 30 mins a day (i skip some days not gonna lie) lol but cardio gets your endorphines flowing best.
I do mostly lifting, a lot of chest/bi's/tri's/shoulders/latts/back/traps mostly upper body, my legs are really big and strong my calves are huge and I NEVER work them out, so I don't even bother.
I suggest whey protein and N.O EXPLODE I love that ****, I was stuck at a plateau I couldn't break through benching 365 for like 2 months straight last year no matter what I did... I tried N.O EXPLODE and 3 days later I broke through it and kept going up... theres a lot of good stuff out there. I can give you tons of info if you need it, just tell me exactly what your looking to get out of the work out.
Also your stats if you want you can private msg me them, weight, height, age... I was a personal trainer for years in college. Did a lot of steroids back 2 years ago too... bad stuff yuck never again and that's WHILE I was eating 400mgs of oxy a day ughhh don't know what I was thinking. my heart must hate me.
lol....I wish I benched that much! I am with bigzz on the whey protein because it gives me energy. I am doing good to walk since my surgery. I am doing that and some pt exercises. But i was an avid gym goer and I like the treadmills and things that work the cardio. I like light weight training but you guys need to do heavier stuff. I agree it is great for the "frame of mind" and it makes u feel good about yourself