If I could take it and leave it I would, it consumes me and I get dragged in more and more. The anger turns into rage and I think of hurting myself. It's so painful to go through, there aren't any drugs or an easy way out like before.
Sometimes I just want to give up but I've come so far and worked so hard. I'm not going to give up, this won't get the best of me. I'm like a baby having to learn feelings all over again and that's basically all it is. I need to keep reminding myself that everything will get better if I continue to work the program.
I'm scared to go to sleep at night because I'm stuck with myself and my thoughts, I need to get through this and I keep on praying. I'm going on a year clean and all this is just starting to come up. I have a lot of work to do with my therapist and sponsor...Grrr off to "try" and sleep.