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Old 02-20-2011, 05:12 AM   #16
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Re: Update

Hey are you really into music? godsmack was the artist I listened to...Voodoo
Awake, serenity.......want me to sing to ya? I got snake bites on neck-micro derms. I love body art
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Old 02-20-2011, 06:19 PM   #17
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Re: Update

music:

These are life's hurdles being thrown at you, and yeah it really does suck. But it's life, feel it and know that you are not NUMB to it.

You've been down this road before, so you know the depression goes hand in hand with what you are doing. When possible, get up and if nothing else, take a short walk to help get your mind off of the pain of the withdrawls and get those endorphins flowing. I'm praying for ya dude. You CAN do this. Belive in YOU!!

Blessings,
Becky
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Old 02-21-2011, 10:42 AM   #18
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Re: Update

you are not posting which means you are in hellllllllll! I hope it is easier this time....I know my 2nd baby was easier than first..not sure if this applies here...does it? hey pain is pain!

I am thinking about you and cant wait to hear all about your journey....cuz you do think and see some pretty messed up stuff while kickin opiates......(shiver) never go back...ever ever never ever.......it is still fresh in my mind...i still am healing from the wounds....ouch! my heart still hurts....need...need....neeeeeeeed....lo ve!

Hope all is good (to be expected)
Kim
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Old 02-21-2011, 11:37 AM   #19
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Re: Update

Hey everyone. Here is the update. I went to the doctor today and told him everything. With all my stress, it has caused my back and sciattic nerve to go haywire. I told him that I am getting sick when I quit. We decided to have another script and we wrote down a taper plan for me. I have 2 funerals and I have to go to Chicago to see our family friend who has the brain tumors at the end of the week. he did not want to see me sick with the stress.

I am having a major physical on Thursday to make sure all is in order. He wants me to follow the taper plan strictly. He knows that I will not feel well for a few days and he wants me to prepare by making sure I am well hydrated and nourished before going into it. He assured me it will pass, and I know it will. He says that I need to buck up and prepare for it and then follow up with aftercare with a psychologost and the back doctors to get to the route of the problem. If I feel truly awful when the withdrawals start to hit, he will treat me for the caute symptoms but to be aware that it is part of the game.

I feel better that I know that I will not be alone and have my doctor on my side and will be able to weather the storm. I know that I put myself into this situation and I will have to man up and take it. After the three devestating news I got this week, it has made me realize that I do not want to continue like this. Life is short and wasting my life is a shame.

I know I can do this. I jsut have to make it through the first few days and then I will be better. I have had many clean times over the past few years and I can not tell you how much better I feel after I get to that point. I can't wait for that day and believe me it will happen. So i am going to make this work and have no doubt I can do it

Thanks to each and everyone of you responding. I am not a failure... I am making a plan that will aid in my recovery and I can not wait for that day to share with all of tiy how wonderful life iw without taiking drugs

 
Old 02-23-2011, 06:34 AM   #20
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Re: Update

It's wednesday...just checking on you......look at my monster.....hes losing his hair.....patterned baldness....maybe just a hair cut.....hope all is well

Kim
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Old 02-23-2011, 11:40 AM   #21
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Re: Update

musicman,

Thank you again for being so considerate and offering your help on my post. With all that you yourself are going through, you still took the time to let me know that someone is actaully here listening. Wow, just know that meant a lot to me. With that being said please no if I could ever be of any assistance to you or anyone on this board I would welcome that with open arms. Trying to build some sort of a support system for myself as well is for others is a goal of mine and that is why im on this board. You are a great inspiration to me, and im sure to many others who are trying to recover. Im really happy for you that you were hohnest with your Dad and your doctor. Im sure its a huge relief. Please keep posting your progress. Until then you will be in my prayers.

Last edited by Administrator; 10-01-2012 at 11:38 AM.

 
Old 02-23-2011, 12:30 PM   #22
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Re: Update

You are very welcome Carolyn, there are some great people here and it takes time to respond sometimes. It s good to just talk things out here. I am very secretive and no one knows the extent of my addiction because I isolate myself when I use the pills. So it is nice to come here to talk and get reassurance. I have used oxy/hydro off and on for 13 years so I am used to withdrawal. I have had many clean times so it is not continual usage. I am very lucky in the fact that in all those years, I have never built a tolerance. I have only used anywhere between 40-100 mgs per day when I was using the meds. Over the past 15 months, I have switched to pure oxycodone without tylenol. I am sure my liver is thanking me. Every blood test I have had has come back with good liver numbers. This may be due to the fact that I do not drink at all. I just can not stand the taste and effects of alcohol, so it has probably saved my liver.

Another good thing with me is that I flourish when I am clean. I do not crave it once I get over teh acute symptoms. My anxiety disappears, my health improves, as does my well being. So I am very lucky that I do not crave the pills. My problem, especially in the past 18 months is that my mental psyche has been way off whack. This is why I am having a hard time getting over the hump of quitting and dealing with the withdrawal symptoms. This is why i have to do this in a new approach. I am very confident that I will be fine down the road. I just am going to have to suck up the initail withdrawals and move on. I actually get happy when I think of having the withdrawals over and clean time so I can live my life normally again and stop isolating myself at 41. It is no way to live.

 
Old 02-23-2011, 01:11 PM   #23
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Re: Update

Im not much of a drinker either i could take it or leave it. Always have smoked pot though, but through my experience of tapering it does nothing but intesify all my w/d symptoms. same with smoking cigarrettes. Maybe i can walk away from this experience completely clean from all the poison.

Im kind of opposite of you. I dont wanna do nothing unless im high-sad i know-- like hanging w friends or shopping or anything. So this will be really weird for me once i get back out into the real world. Right now i just wanna lock myself in the house i dread the thought of having to anything that consists of going out of the house. I remember before the pills came into my life-would u believe my favorite part of the day was morning! I was woke up and jumped out of bed in a great mood ready to start the day. Miss those days big time. legs are killing me today just tried to do a little streching and excercise hope it helps somewhat. When do u leave for Chicago?

 
Old 02-23-2011, 10:11 PM   #24
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Re: Update

Hey Musicman glad to see you are okay. I don't think cold turkey is a good idea for anyone. I am taking the same medicine you take. Pure oxycodone without tylenol. I take 120 mg's a day. I am 42. I wonder if our age has something to do with all of this craziness. I was more secure and self assured at the age of 32 than 42. It is almost like I am progressing backwards! I have knee surgery tomorrow or today rather! lol. I haven't been able to take any aspirin products for the last 10 days. I have suddently discovered that my alieve does actually work even though I thought it didn't. That is somewhat reassuring because when I try to taper off this medicine I am going to be taking a lot of alieve. I do not abuse my medicine either. What I mean by that is I do not take more than I am supposed to except maybe an occassional one when i am really hurting. I just do not like being controlled by it. some of my pain is dependance on the drug. No matter who you are, if you take a narcotic every day for long enough, your body becomes physically dependent on it. I believe that is where we are. I am sure there are some emotional aspects to it also. I am not trying to fool myself into believing otherwise.

Try to see if the doctor will give you cymbalta. It does contain a little bit of a stimulant and that also helps with the motivation. I have been on it almost a week and I think it is starting to kick in because I have been feeling really good and motivated about doing things again. Of course they say it takes 3 weeks so maybe my mind is playing tricks on me. Good luck and I will check back to see how you are in a few days.

And Kim, you are so funny. You are a cool chick. You have been through so much physical pain I don't know honestly how u do it without meds. I feel foolish stating my problems after hearing yours.

 
Old 02-24-2011, 01:02 PM   #25
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Re: Update

I had my physical today. My EKG came back excellent and I have excelleny heart rate and blood pressure. My blood work will come back tommorow. I am sure it will show my high cholesterol.

I am feeling better mentally now that I have my doctor's backing and I will be ready nexy week when I finally have to go cold turkey. I have already started doing things differently to prepare. I have started a vitamin routine the past three days. I take 2 omega fish oil capsules, a multi vitamin, B complex, and L-tyrosine. I am drinking more fluids and eating more to nourish myself. When I went into doctor on Monday, I was 170 pounds with my shoes on. Today I was 176 with my shoes and shirt off! This makes me happy because I hate to lose weight. So I feel this is a healthy sign!!! I have also been sleeping quite soundly teh last few nights. Sleep has always been an issue for me. I have never been a good sleeper but I am finally catching up on it.

So in generally, my mental psyche is in a good place! I hope this is a good sign for next week when I go oxycodone free!!

 
Old 02-25-2011, 08:56 PM   #26
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Re: Update

Life is much better without an opiate addiction. I can attest to the fact that the high of opiates is small potatoes next to the high of realizing you don't need them. Ever. For any reason (including surgery). I underwent dermabrasion without opiates. Talk about painful. Still, I survived. It can be done. If people can have natural childbirth, people can have surgery without opiates.

Note: having surgery without opiates also means having surgery without anesthesia, as anesthesia without opiates means that you could wake up and have a heart attack or something like that (I can't remember exactly what). And yes, this is possible too ....

I wanted to add that I quit cigarettes before quitting opiates. This was the best move I ever made. It gave me the confidence I needed to kick opiates to the curb, once and for all. Highly recommend this move prior to attempting to quit opiates!

Last edited by Vivica; 02-25-2011 at 08:57 PM.

 
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Old 02-25-2011, 09:40 PM   #27
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Re: Update

wow having surgery without anesthesia is definitely BRAVE. I guess I am too chicken. lol good for you!

 
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Old 02-26-2011, 01:27 PM   #28
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Re: Update

Quote:
Originally Posted by oxygirl View Post
wow having surgery without anesthesia is definitely BRAVE. I guess I am too chicken. lol good for you!
hey oxygirl,

i should say I'm not that much of a hero, LOL ... they gave me a heavy-duty sedative and I fell asleep. I don't know the name of it. It knocked me out, though. I certainly wasn't awake - I would have been bugging out!! haha

Guess I should have clarified that! Could you imagine being awake during surgery? I would have had a heart attack for sure!

 
Old 02-26-2011, 06:47 PM   #29
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Re: Update

whats up guys..i see a set up here. i understand loss jsut as good as any one,also i know pain as it has always been present in my life. migrains multiple herniated discs, carpul tinnel both arms nerve impingment in left arm annular tear in l4/l5..and by the way last count was 10 herniated discs in cerv and lumb.together know just like homie i have rsd/crps.. i know i have an addictive personality, and if you can admitt to that truely then the next step is truely knowing when you (((need))) the drug or when you want it, i did illegal drugs as a teen and god alocohol wld be my best friend if i ddnt know who i was..i smoked 4 packs o cigs a day before i quit cold, of course i was told to quit or die and thy meant with in weeks not years.. but i still crave, what i read seems like a set up to reason your way back into drugs..lcan you get physical therapy instead. it will help stegnthen your core muscles ..how about epidural steroids to inflate the disc back up..its not perminant but it helps (does nothing for rsd), not trying to be mean myself just trying to splash some cold water on your face, see other options that maybe you ddnt know about. i wish you luck with this and i know its noy easy, especially when you r given a narcotic by the drs so easily. i have been trying to fight the narcs thy give me but have been told that if i dont use them then insurance will believe i dont need them and cancell all treatment. rediculouse really but im stuck, and my dr,s drug test so i cant even fake it. I hope all goes well for you god speed

 
Old 02-26-2011, 06:58 PM   #30
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Re: Update

Thanks for your post Painman.. Maybe you misread or I didn't make myself clear. I can certainly function without narcotic meds for my back pain. My condition is such that if I just took care of it through exercise and better health I would be fine. So I do not want to take pain meds. Right now, I am having a very hard time mentally, preparing myself for the few days of withdrawals that are to come. This is what is making me take them. I am gearing up for it this week by nourishing my body and making sure I am hydrated. I know I have to pay the piper, but I hope to minimize some of the withdrawals by doing this.

 
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