Thank you again for being so considerate and offering your help on my post. With all that you yourself are going through, you still took the time to let me know that someone is actaully here listening. Wow, just know that meant a lot to me. With that being said please no if I could ever be of any assistance to you or anyone on this board I would welcome that with open arms. Trying to build some sort of a support system for myself as well is for others is a goal of mine and that is why im on this board. You are a great inspiration to me, and im sure to many others who are trying to recover. Im really happy for you that you were hohnest with your Dad and your doctor. Im sure its a huge relief. Please keep posting your progress. Until then you will be in my prayers.
Last edited by Administrator; 10-01-2012 at 11:38 AM.
You are very welcome Carolyn, there are some great people here and it takes time to respond sometimes. It s good to just talk things out here. I am very secretive and no one knows the extent of my addiction because I isolate myself when I use the pills. So it is nice to come here to talk and get reassurance. I have used oxy/hydro off and on for 13 years so I am used to withdrawal. I have had many clean times so it is not continual usage. I am very lucky in the fact that in all those years, I have never built a tolerance. I have only used anywhere between 40-100 mgs per day when I was using the meds. Over the past 15 months, I have switched to pure oxycodone without tylenol. I am sure my liver is thanking me. Every blood test I have had has come back with good liver numbers. This may be due to the fact that I do not drink at all. I just can not stand the taste and effects of alcohol, so it has probably saved my liver.
Another good thing with me is that I flourish when I am clean. I do not crave it once I get over teh acute symptoms. My anxiety disappears, my health improves, as does my well being. So I am very lucky that I do not crave the pills. My problem, especially in the past 18 months is that my mental psyche has been way off whack. This is why I am having a hard time getting over the hump of quitting and dealing with the withdrawal symptoms. This is why i have to do this in a new approach. I am very confident that I will be fine down the road. I just am going to have to suck up the initail withdrawals and move on. I actually get happy when I think of having the withdrawals over and clean time so I can live my life normally again and stop isolating myself at 41. It is no way to live.
Im not much of a drinker either i could take it or leave it. Always have smoked pot though, but through my experience of tapering it does nothing but intesify all my w/d symptoms. same with smoking cigarrettes. Maybe i can walk away from this experience completely clean from all the poison.
Im kind of opposite of you. I dont wanna do nothing unless im high-sad i know-- like hanging w friends or shopping or anything. So this will be really weird for me once i get back out into the real world. Right now i just wanna lock myself in the house i dread the thought of having to anything that consists of going out of the house. I remember before the pills came into my life-would u believe my favorite part of the day was morning! I was woke up and jumped out of bed in a great mood ready to start the day. Miss those days big time. legs are killing me today just tried to do a little streching and excercise hope it helps somewhat. When do u leave for Chicago?
Hey Musicman glad to see you are okay. I don't think cold turkey is a good idea for anyone. I am taking the same medicine you take. Pure oxycodone without tylenol. I take 120 mg's a day. I am 42. I wonder if our age has something to do with all of this craziness. I was more secure and self assured at the age of 32 than 42. It is almost like I am progressing backwards! I have knee surgery tomorrow or today rather! lol. I haven't been able to take any aspirin products for the last 10 days. I have suddently discovered that my alieve does actually work even though I thought it didn't. That is somewhat reassuring because when I try to taper off this medicine I am going to be taking a lot of alieve. I do not abuse my medicine either. What I mean by that is I do not take more than I am supposed to except maybe an occassional one when i am really hurting. I just do not like being controlled by it. some of my pain is dependance on the drug. No matter who you are, if you take a narcotic every day for long enough, your body becomes physically dependent on it. I believe that is where we are. I am sure there are some emotional aspects to it also. I am not trying to fool myself into believing otherwise.
Try to see if the doctor will give you cymbalta. It does contain a little bit of a stimulant and that also helps with the motivation. I have been on it almost a week and I think it is starting to kick in because I have been feeling really good and motivated about doing things again. Of course they say it takes 3 weeks so maybe my mind is playing tricks on me. Good luck and I will check back to see how you are in a few days.
And Kim, you are so funny. You are a cool chick. You have been through so much physical pain I don't know honestly how u do it without meds. I feel foolish stating my problems after hearing yours.
I had my physical today. My EKG came back excellent and I have excelleny heart rate and blood pressure. My blood work will come back tommorow. I am sure it will show my high cholesterol.
I am feeling better mentally now that I have my doctor's backing and I will be ready nexy week when I finally have to go cold turkey. I have already started doing things differently to prepare. I have started a vitamin routine the past three days. I take 2 omega fish oil capsules, a multi vitamin, B complex, and L-tyrosine. I am drinking more fluids and eating more to nourish myself. When I went into doctor on Monday, I was 170 pounds with my shoes on. Today I was 176 with my shoes and shirt off! This makes me happy because I hate to lose weight. So I feel this is a healthy sign!!! I have also been sleeping quite soundly teh last few nights. Sleep has always been an issue for me. I have never been a good sleeper but I am finally catching up on it.
So in generally, my mental psyche is in a good place! I hope this is a good sign for next week when I go oxycodone free!!
Life is much better without an opiate addiction. I can attest to the fact that the high of opiates is small potatoes next to the high of realizing you don't need them. Ever. For any reason (including surgery). I underwent dermabrasion without opiates. Talk about painful. Still, I survived. It can be done. If people can have natural childbirth, people can have surgery without opiates.
Note: having surgery without opiates also means having surgery without anesthesia, as anesthesia without opiates means that you could wake up and have a heart attack or something like that (I can't remember exactly what). And yes, this is possible too ....
I wanted to add that I quit cigarettes before quitting opiates. This was the best move I ever made. It gave me the confidence I needed to kick opiates to the curb, once and for all. Highly recommend this move prior to attempting to quit opiates!
Last edited by Vivica; 02-25-2011 at 08:57 PM.
The Following User Says Thank You to Vivica For This Useful Post: Homie2011 (02-26-2011)
wow having surgery without anesthesia is definitely BRAVE. I guess I am too chicken. lol good for you!
hey oxygirl,
i should say I'm not that much of a hero, LOL ... they gave me a heavy-duty sedative and I fell asleep. I don't know the name of it. It knocked me out, though. I certainly wasn't awake - I would have been bugging out!! haha
Guess I should have clarified that! Could you imagine being awake during surgery? I would have had a heart attack for sure!
whats up guys..i see a set up here. i understand loss jsut as good as any one,also i know pain as it has always been present in my life. migrains multiple herniated discs, carpul tinnel both arms nerve impingment in left arm annular tear in l4/l5..and by the way last count was 10 herniated discs in cerv and lumb.together know just like homie i have rsd/crps.. i know i have an addictive personality, and if you can admitt to that truely then the next step is truely knowing when you (((need))) the drug or when you want it, i did illegal drugs as a teen and god alocohol wld be my best friend if i ddnt know who i was..i smoked 4 packs o cigs a day before i quit cold, of course i was told to quit or die and thy meant with in weeks not years.. but i still crave, what i read seems like a set up to reason your way back into drugs..lcan you get physical therapy instead. it will help stegnthen your core muscles ..how about epidural steroids to inflate the disc back up..its not perminant but it helps (does nothing for rsd), not trying to be mean myself just trying to splash some cold water on your face, see other options that maybe you ddnt know about. i wish you luck with this and i know its noy easy, especially when you r given a narcotic by the drs so easily. i have been trying to fight the narcs thy give me but have been told that if i dont use them then insurance will believe i dont need them and cancell all treatment. rediculouse really but im stuck, and my dr,s drug test so i cant even fake it. I hope all goes well for you god speed
Thanks for your post Painman.. Maybe you misread or I didn't make myself clear. I can certainly function without narcotic meds for my back pain. My condition is such that if I just took care of it through exercise and better health I would be fine. So I do not want to take pain meds. Right now, I am having a very hard time mentally, preparing myself for the few days of withdrawals that are to come. This is what is making me take them. I am gearing up for it this week by nourishing my body and making sure I am hydrated. I know I have to pay the piper, but I hope to minimize some of the withdrawals by doing this.
sorry . didnt want to seem negitive. I see your difficult and know it well.
to help with withdrawls drink pleant of water. just like a hang over. if you have difficulties hop on line ..and thread..i usually post in rsd but it is amazing how i link to other threads.. i will be in hospital my self for next couple of days so i might not be on. but i will try..good luck to you ..and hold true to form
Thank you much! Tuesday is going to be the last day of pills ( I hope!!) I have enough of my vacation left to recover before going back to work. I just have to make it past the first 3 days and then I gradually get better. Good luck to you in the hospital!!!
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to musicman3 For This Useful Post: Homie2011 (02-28-2011)
hey All: I take my meds as prescribed pretty much. I don't usually run out early or anything. That's not to say I haven't cause I have a time or two. However, for the most part I feel like I am in control of that. I hate pain and I like the way opiates make me feel and I know I am physically dependent on them. That is the part that scares me the most. I feel like you do Musicman like I should be able to control this without the pills. It just seems so much easier to let the pills help. I don't think I have an addictive personality because this is the first time anything like this in my life has ever taken over. I have never been one prone to addiction and I actually blamed people who were addicts. (talk about eating your words!) I have a new respect for people going through it and I know it takes a strong person to overcome it. Hopefully I will get on the ball soon. I have spent a lot of time talking to different people and listening to what they are going through and I have met some amazing people on here. Good luck Musicman but as u are doing this, try to find a good nsaid or something to help u with the pain that u are going through.
oxygirl, i admire your honesty, and i empathize with you having the symptoms you do. I just hope for you that your tolerance doesnt go up, then you need more and more to get the effect.
I have friends that take oxys moderately, and they stop every now n then, and seem to manage alright. It seems you have your system under control. Believe me, i remember how the oxys made me feel, and its welll you know.
Just keep on top of it, and reach out if you ever need to.... keep up the good work and strong mindedness....thats admirable
Well im alive!! totallay feel like im going through all this to beable to relate to my father and what is last month of his life was like--have a new found respect for that man!
Today i feel the best ive have yet!!!! WoooooHooooo!!! Still have this weird shocking chill sensation- kinda like when someone just scared the shiiot out of u! It is getting better every day though. Didnt even take as valium last night before bed.
As i had said music is helping! Please second go-- dont forget the music! -i promise u it can be sedating and calming--hot baths too! I was scared to death but i think i have finally made it thru-and so will you! - i know you can do this.
I feel like ive been living in the dark and someone just turned on the lights- i see cob webs that i know have been there for at least six months. yesterday i put my ipod on the dock and my little girls looked at me as if i were a stranger! i got up and started singing and dancing w them! you should have seen their faces. i started pulling out furniture and entertainment centers--must of had enough cheerios to feed a small country and the dust-was discusting--all i could think about is how my dirty house resembled my dirty secrets and what the inside of my body must look like (cheerios resembling all the pills i took for 6 month and dirt and dust--all the smoking). ---I even decorated for Easter yesterday! I know every day is gonna be better. Today is March 1 st---sound like a perfect day for day 1--I will be here for you as you have for me--always! Everyone of you that have helped me, or just listened to me--even the lady who was the first to comment my post and scared the crap out of me-I want to thank you! I am a tuff cookie you see-no one can get the better of me. I just wanted to prove to myself that breaking an addiction can be done-stopping this cycle of how i grew up watching my parents chosing drugs over me stooped here with ME! Keep your eye one the prize--i really believe i was saved for a purpose.
Its not perfect though i had some mood swings going on yesterday-I speant a hour in the tub praying for god to heal me and forgive me. Also notice that my body lets me sleep exactly 8 hrs to the minute- woke up before my family and made them some strawberry waffles...just try to keep your mind busy even when u r to sick to get up at least listen to music and envision the old u and all that u want to accomplish when this is done-you do deserve a second chance second go to be a brand new u--so start deciding--what is it that u miss about the old u? what is it that u really wanna do that your addiction was keeping u from?
Thank you for again,
Carolyn ( big hugs to u all) Chin up-You run your life not your addiction-mind over body! Its a tough fight i got a feeling your gonna kick the shiot of this devil and take over!! keep my posted!
Last edited by Administrator; 10-01-2012 at 11:39 AM.
The Following User Says Thank You to ~Carolyn~ For This Useful Post: Homie2011 (03-01-2011)
geat- now u all must think ive lost my mind- i was jumping boards and rushing and cant delete my last message second go--im sorry! I know you have already got over your addiction- just started reading two diffrent messages at the same time started responding to u -walked away and came back and just started rambling on to another friend-forgive me- You were my inspiration from the beginning-i know your story-just got confused
but im sure u read and seen my progress. Hope u understand the mistake-
The following user gives a hug of support to ~Carolyn~: Homie2011 (03-01-2011)
theres no mistakes here!... but i thought something was a lil fishy when u told me to use music as a kind of therapy....Im a DJ!!!!!. Nuff Said hahaa....but yep music can change the energy in a room and inside you.... glad you had a good day....and yes the ups and downs are part-in-parcel (is that the phrase?) with this fight were all going thru, i have ups and downs every single day, and i bet 99 percent of people do too.....except those on mind numbing amounts of drugs.....but guess what...the ups and downs wil come for them at some point....just being fececious......
I had a good day....day off....learning how to use my time wisely, and like u say stay busy and do different things than the old routine that got us in those dark places!.....the suns always out above the clouds, everyday...its just on the other side of that grey! speakin of which vitamin d time!
My biggest aide in withdrawling for me was my old rocking chair and my CD collection. I would sit in front of the window and rock for hours and listen to my favorite music. The rocking would counteract the heebie jeebies and the music would lift my spirits.
