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Old 02-26-2011, 08:32 AM   #31
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Re: Please help me properly taper tramadol

Carolyn, take the valium. Do not get yourself worked into a frenzy about seizures. If you take the valium it will help, and you only have had a few days worth so there is nothing to worry about as far as addiction goes to that.

 
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Old 02-27-2011, 12:24 AM   #32
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Re: Please help me properly taper tramadol

carolyn, musicman is right. take the valium.. and trust me when i say there are times when crumbs seemed like a milliion dollars to me! please take care and continue to write us if you are able. u are an inspiration to us and we are here to go through ur journey with u as much as possible.

 
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Old 02-28-2011, 07:03 AM   #33
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Re: Please help me properly taper tramadol

OXYGIRL AND MUSICMAN,

Ya know how they say things happen for a reason? My missing Trams have still not been found-but my ipod w all my favorite music was found-it has been missing foor a good year. The only thing that is getting me thru this is music and hot baths and valium. Also thank god my husband was hope saturday and sunday to take care of the babies- Hes convinced from us having the flu last week that all theses symptoms are from the zoloft leaving my body becasue we all were not able to hold anything down....kinda weird how this all panned out. But I believe maybe god was trying to push me along wen he felt the time was right-When i do find those pills--i promise they will be flushed!!!!!!!

for the last two days ive been experiencing some major anxiety--I also have this shocking feeling that has been zapping me. the valium helps w that and of course the music. Today is much much better. I havent had a problem with sleeping which really surprised me--i do get up way earlier though which is good. Wish i had more to say -- just want this zapping shocking feeling to go away-if anyone knows what im talking about-how long does this usually last? Hope everyone is doing good-sorry havent been posting- just needed to keep my mind off things to keep my anxiety low.

 
Old 03-03-2011, 07:25 AM   #34
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Re: Please help me properly taper tramadol

Have to share this- went to church last night...Guess what the pastor was speaking about? ANXIETY! Too funny. What is it that anxiety is caused from? Well they say its caused from GUILT for trying to be in charge of your own life and making your own un godlike decisions instead of entrusted in god and letting him be in charge of how you should live your life. In a nut shell it makes sense doesnt it? I would like to say that I am not the most spiritual person in the world but I do believe in the higher power. If you put your problems in gods hand instead of carrying the weight of the world on your own shoulders all the time--Miracles can happen. I am living proof-addiction is just one of my examples. I am learning its to much for me to do on my own. Just need to have a little faith in him and he will carry you when you least expect it.

Had trouble sleeping again..I just have so much on my mind. I worked out for 45 mins yesterday and boy am i feeling it today. Cant believe how much easier life is becoming now im clean--Every single day something gets better. I have really slacked in all aspects of my life when i was high. Now I have to clean up the mess and make things right with everyone i feel like. Especially my Husband and my kids. I see how my selfish mistakes has affected them and how they interact with me. I think they think im weak and get over on me still. Well let me tell ya they are all in for relality check...Because im back and am not a lazy push over anymore and demand the respect that i deserve! Reguardless of my mistakes I have made.

Mental clarity is totally coming back. Ive always been a good listener and all my friends come to me for advice. In the last couple days I have recieved random text messages from 2 friends thanking me for talking to them about their problems-both said i have a way about me to always make them see things better and they always feel much better after we talked.....Use to hear that a lot--all the time actually!! Funny thing is when i was high i stopped hearing that. Now im clean- like i said in last couple days im hearing that again-Makes me feel good to be there for others....Proves the old me is still here ya know?

My husband--poor guy has no clue. Hes been looking at me oddly wondering what happpend to her lol. Its like----Shheee's Baaackkk! But hes confused im sure-This is a good thing. Im sure most people think im wrong for not sharing w him. This is for the best him not knowing. This secret will always remain a secret for nothing good can come from sharing at this point. I will always remember this time of my life and use it as a tool to help others and be more understanding to people who are struggling with addiction. Now im clean I know why I was getting high. It was not to be supermom as i thought i was because lets face it -i wasnt doing as good as job as i thought i was. I was getting high to numb my broken heart from the loss of my father. That pill (s) made me not think about it. I was weak and didnt want to except things for what they were. Now i have to be stronger then ever and deal with the fact hes gone and isnt coming back. All i can do now is make him Proud and I know he is. Still never found my hidden pills-wonder if he had something to do with that? lol -- just saying its weird how this all happened.

Hope people are still following my story and can see that this is possible for them too! I will keep posting my progress and downfalls in hopes my story will help others. Take care everyone.

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Old 03-03-2011, 10:49 PM   #35
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Re: Please help me properly taper tramadol

so happy for you carolyn. u can do it. motherhood is a wonderful time in your life and also stressful. If you have a good husband then that is half of the battle right there. Keep up the good work and we will keep cheering u on.

 
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Old 03-04-2011, 07:01 AM   #36
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Re: Please help me properly taper tramadol

thanks oxygirl--had a little meltdown yesterday but am alright--just feeling overwhelmed with life in general. Hoping for some good old fashion happiness to get me going again. Been getting pretty bad headaches in the morning--think it has something to do w the serratonin levels trying to level out or something now its working by itself ...anyway dont have much to post was mostly concerned w musicman this morning as i see you are too. Hoping to hear from Homie too! U guys are always in my thoughts and prayers!

Take care all,

Last edited by Administrator; 10-01-2012 at 01:16 PM.

 
Old 03-04-2011, 10:00 AM   #37
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Re: Please help me properly taper tramadol

It does get better Carolyn, I know it does. There has never been a time in my on and off again cycle of using the pills that I never felt better after a time being clean. It just takes some time for the brain to reset. I am just having a diffficult time getting over the initial hump and it is making me very depressed. I hate using the pills, it just gives me more anxiety, but it keeps away that awful restless feeling we all get in withdrawal.

I am just trying to do everything different this time so I can be successful. The one thing I have always hated and try to avoid is counting the days and hours. I do not like this because if you were to relapse, it makes you feel that you have failed and have to start the clock all over again. That is a big burden to handle. I just need to get over this awful depression I am having right now and I think it is related to the stress I get for taking the pills.

 
Old 03-06-2011, 05:55 AM   #38
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Re: Please help me properly taper tramadol

ya now musicman i have been reading about st johns wart-it works wonders if your willing to try it. I cant because of my zoloft but if i didnt have it id for surely be taken it. Why dont u give it a try. It can start working immediately from what i read. you have to keep taking it though they say if u stop depression comes right back...let me know your thoughts on that and how u r doing. I want to help u as much as possible. You deserve all the support in the world as you have been so supportive for all of us-your not alone!

Last edited by Administrator; 10-01-2012 at 01:16 PM.

 
Old 03-06-2011, 06:00 AM   #39
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Re: Please help me properly taper tramadol

Well today is day seven for me guys---ive made it! still suffering from depression but i have a lot top deal with that was never dealt with due to me numbing and masking my feelings as i did. Just want to reassure u all that its all worth it and all possible. Im living proof! Hope you all are enjoying your Sunday and Im thinking of you guys! Take care.

Last edited by Administrator; 10-01-2012 at 01:16 PM.

 
Old 03-06-2011, 12:00 PM   #40
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Re: Please help me properly taper tramadol

Hello Carolyn

I have been reading your posts and you have done a wonderful and steadfast withdrawal. Kudos to you.

The depression is a real mountain to conquer as we move towards really and truly restoring our brains and bodies. I was in severe clinical depression when I started withdrawal. It was that depression that I had to work my way out of as I withdrew. (the depression from withdrawal was like a secondary layer of depression).

Carolyn, I have yet to meet anyone who is abusing drugs does not suffer from the angst of unresolved hurt and grief. I had stuffed so much death, hurt, pain, sickness and grief down inside me and tried to avoid feeling it by putting myself in a drug haze. Of course, it all backfired eventually and when it tried to surface, I sunk into non-functioning depression.

With the help of a therapist, I began to unravel those things inside of me. As I withdrew, I came to understand how to grieve. Lord Almighty, I howled with grief from the depths of my soul. I spent so many hours a day crying as I never had before. One by one, I faced each of those sorrows. Step by step, I began to accept the sorrows in my life and put them in a healthier perspective. And I began to heal, truly heal. After months and months of withdrawing and learning to face my fears, I was able to walk off the drugs and begin to live my life normally again.

Carolyn, as you leave behind the numbing and masking of stuffed away feelings, please incorporate counseling of some type to help you deal with whatever you need to deal with. It is a purging that truly clears the pathways ahead for us. So many times I have written here that the year of my withdrawal was the greatest year ever of learning about myself. Hard way to learn for sure, but learning that has left me alive and happy again.

Geeze, there is so much I want to share with you, but it would be a huge volume! For now, stay strong, get those issues forward and face them with professional help. Not only are you going to be okay, you are going to be wonderful!

Hugs
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Old 03-06-2011, 01:50 PM   #41
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Re: Please help me properly taper tramadol

CL!!!!!!
you are a flipping rock star. i dont know where to begin.
1. thank you for taking us through the ride, so many stop posting when they feel better and you gave hope to hounders of people you will never meet or hear from. love it!
2. you also lets us know how different withdrawal can be for everyone. for some its hell and for others it's just a pain in the butt but very scary to take on.
3. i do hope you will continue to update and if you (like me) get some random withdrawal flash for a few days please let us know so we can pull you through just as you have done for us.

much love and respect,
mindy

 
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Old 03-06-2011, 06:05 PM   #42
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Re: Please help me properly taper tramadol

Reachout,

Thank you so much. Please always feel free to be open and I dont mind how large the volume is. Thats exactly why I come on here everyday in hopes that some one will reachout no punt intended. I had finally started seeing a therapist last year and it worked wonders- My sad story starts from birth w my parents being heavy into drugs and how i survived- I never was one to share that with anyone because i didnt want to carry their burden as my own problem. Always wanted their drug problem to be their problem. That was a very young immature litte girls feelings and its not how i feel anymore towards them. My dad and i were so close very close the last ten years of his life and losing him just is something i cant except yet but am trying to. Going to counseling last year for the first time its exactly what you said it felt as if I was purging! I know that is exactly what I need right now too. My insurance was cut off. But I am so happy because I recieved a letter yesterday that it looks like i may be picked back up! You have know idea how happy that made me. So im gonna keep my fingers crossed.

Ya know how you said the year of withdrawing was the greatest year ever of learning about yourself? Wow I can relate. Its just been a week for me but its been such a awakening week. Like every thing is becoming so clear and all the answers are just coming to me so easily. I think this is gonna be the year that i learn more about life and my self in general then i ever have in my 33 years on earth. Drugs kept me stagnant in life like all i did was complain and wish i had this or could do this ..... Now everthing just seems simple stupid on how and what i need to achieve my goals. Cant wait to see what the future has in store for me now im getting my head back.


Thank you so much for reaching out to me-u have know idea how much it means to me. For this board is all i have as you know i am keeping this a secret.

Keep in touch

Last edited by Administrator; 10-01-2012 at 01:17 PM.

 
Old 03-06-2011, 06:28 PM   #43
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Re: Please help me properly taper tramadol

Mindy-

Ya know girl you were there for me and helped me when i was scared to death! I am forever grateful. I promise to stay on the boards so i can keep u guys updated with my progress and my lows...I know they will be there. Yesterday was horriable I just cried all day so badly like as if I didnt have a purpose here! It was sick! But today was a good day and it made up for it. I actually made myself get the heck out of the house all by myself. Treated myself to some summer clothes. Im telling u SHOPPING IS GOOD FOR MY SOUL! LOL. Im working on me now again. I feel i need to be selfish right now so i can feel good about my self again insead of feeling like a PIECE of u know what.

I really hope there are people out there still following my story like you said at least my mistakes can serve as a purpose and help others out there to know they are not alone.

Thank you again Mindy your words really built me up just now and as i read your oset to me i had goose bumps and for the first time instead of being so down on myself I was proud! Something i havent felt in a long time! Through my withdrawal i was no walk in the park to be around. My poor family especially my little girls got to see me fight this dam devil out of my body and i said some things and acted in ways that are unforgiveable in my eyes but i know it had to be done. This short time of having such cranky mom is nothing compared to how i would have scarred them if i never decided to take the step. So hopefully they will forget they are all so young and thank god children love you unconditionally. I love them so much and they deserve nothing but the best from me from here on out! Lots of love and respect to you too my friend! I promise to stay in touch!

Take Care

Last edited by Administrator; 10-01-2012 at 01:17 PM.

 
Old 03-10-2011, 10:07 AM   #44
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Re: Please help me properly taper tramadol

Hello everyone. Been on the boards this morning reading old posts from people like me that were hooked on Tramadol. I feel so guilty thinking how i put all my babies at risk driving around like that. The seizure risk was so high when i did that. For instance there is a lady named Emsmom on here that had a seisure at a red light! She survived thank god....but i cant believe how freaking stupid i was!~I am so lucky that i got off tramadol with out killing my children or myself. I even volunteered for field trips and drove other peoples children in my car a long with the teacher as my passanger. What a freaking nightmare--i can sit here and read story after story of people having seizures from this drug-its a scary *** thing!

Hope anyone who is lurking and following me really decides to take that next step. Im so happy i did.

Ive been having a lot of shoulder pain and i also feel like i have carpel-tunnel--i know that is spelled wrong but i refuse to spell check today lol. Im taking way to much advil and think i should try aleve. I took a couple of Vicoden this week it was so bad--i know thats a no no ... they are suck a waste of freaking money anyway. All it does is make me miss Tramadol too. I started on tramadol because Vicoden was so short lived and the Tramadol lasted forever! Needless to say i need to stay the hell away from them.

Cant wait till i can get some health insurance back-still need to get some good counseling to keep my depression at bay. Havent heard from Musicman in days. I hope he is doing good. Oxygirl i read your post about you tapering--im proud of you! Hope homlife w your hubby has been better as your fighting for your goals- im always here for u if you need to talk dont ever forget it! You are in my prayers! Think of you all often.

Take Care

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Old 04-24-2011, 01:12 PM   #45
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Re: Please help me properly taper tramadol

I am also a mom coming off tramadol. Tramadol is the freakin devil!! i tapered from 8 a day to five a day, to a week of only two a day. today is day 8 of no pills. I lost 6 pounds from nausea and just all over crappy feeling. I keep telling myself the worst has to be over. What have these pills done to me. it did help me to tell my husband who has been so understanding. A couple of things that have helped : taking tylenol every 4 hours, taking a multivitamin, drinking lots of water and working out in the morning.Keep your chin up and know that YOU CAN DO IT...I PROMISE. Its not your fault, its tramadol's fault. Your kids need you sober.

 
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