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Old 03-11-2011, 12:55 PM   #1
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from Roxi's to suboxone, fighting it!

I've been doing this dance for a long time... was hurt numerous times on numerous occassions started on 7.5 vics 4 years ago, within 4 months from my first PM doc visit he went from 7.5 vics to 30mg roxi's 6x a day his excuse was because im a 6ft5 255 pound football player I need MORE than most other people and of course I started abusing them.

I finally got sick of it a little over a year ago and told him I wanted off, I never knew what withdrawals were or felt like until I stopped taking my pills that day because I just didn't want them anymore, well rude awakening for me! I learned allllll about the w/ds that day! anyway, my ******** doc put me on 8mg sub 4x a day!! I was only taking at that time 2-3 roxi's a day! so anyway, I was on the subs for about 8 months and then fell off the wagon for what reason I dont even remember but I went back to the roxi's and because the subs are so strong, it took a LOT more roxi to gimme that "euphoric" feeling. so I went from the subs to aprox 10 roxi 30mgs a day... anyway....

since I fell off the wagon last year, I've been to detox once and they used methadone 5 days in then they released me and I went right back to roxi's. had a badddd group of people around me. still fighting it but through out the battles I learned I can take very little suboxone I just need to STAY clean.

so now again for like the 4th time in the past few years, I got balls and said "im done with this ****" I went from 10 roxi 30mgs a day to 2mg sub a day sometimes 40+ hours between doses of sub BUT i've only been on the subs for about 4-5 days now.

I guess my question for the millions of others who have gone through this is how bad will my w/ds be if say I took 2mg this morning, now tomorrow morning or night I wait as long as I can and take only 1mg then the following day the same then the following only 0.5mg and then jump! im so scared as usual! =(

I hope you all dont mind taking the time to read this. I know this is long, I apollogize but I just wanted to give you a good idea of my story...

thanks in advance for any replies!!

for those of you out there that have kicked all these different opiates I admire you like you wouldn't believe!

 
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Old 03-11-2011, 09:17 PM   #2
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Re: from Roxi's to suboxone, fighting it!

I also take roxis 30mg 4 times a day. I am a chronic pain patient what various things that I posted several times and am sick of writing about it (not being rude) but short story....I get them legitimately. However, when I run low or out, it is a withdrawl from hell! neven taken subs but heard various things about them. I had a horrible week because i was very low on my roxis and had just barely enough to not be in full wd's. ran out when i had 1.5 days left and used lortab 10s to help "salve" the wd's. That is about all it did too. It was horrible. I couldn't focus on anything except my wd's. I am debating as I have been for the last 6 months about coming off pain meds completely. I want to do it without telling my doc because if i can't stand the pain I want to be able to keep taking the meds. I have no choice. I can't live in horrible pain but I also can't keep being a slave to roxis!

This board is a great place to get advice and support from members who have been there done that. They are very supportive and not judgmental. i have been dancing the dance for a while now and nobody really judges me or says anything negative. Do you have any pain issues now? That is what the double whammy is when u have an addiction and pain.. what to do?

 
Old 03-12-2011, 09:24 AM   #3
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Re: from Roxi's to suboxone, fighting it!

thank you for the reply OG, I appreciate it very much. I've been in bed for days... your reply made me get up just now. I've been up since 5am *cant sleep* as we all know.

well its been 30+ hours without subs now my intention was to take 1mg or less at some point today but since my last dose of about 1.5mg was yesterday morning at 8am Im NOW thinking I will push through it as long as I can and try NOT to take another sub at all.

it's very tempting sitting there in front of me but i've been fighting it. I just took a 10mg valium to help me with the symptoms a little. I am hoping it will. I have never really liked benzo's so taking one to help shouldnt be a problem.

as far as what you said about the 10mg lortabs, been there done that when I ran out of my 30's I'd take 5-6 norcos or 10mg vics... just helps enough to get you through it.

take my advice PLEASE I am not preaching but for 4 years I have been on them and its horrible what I've lost, spent and seen happen in that time is sickening. Money was never an object to me I always have had lots of it so funding my habits wasnt a problem IIIIII am the one who let this get out of control no one else. I wish you the best and really hope you can some day find it in yourself to come off of them pills before you start to lose things that were so precious and so dear to you like I did.

The one thing I did learn is THIS: The pain you THINK you have when your in withdrawals is FALSE/FAUX it is NOT real and passes after a day or two. I know everyone is different but for me after the second day of withdrawals im not in PAIN but im just deathly sick, twitching shaking, RLS, cant get comfortable and cant sleep I become very irratable and agitated.

I will be back and forth from bed to the computer checking the boards all day... any info/help I can give you I will... I feel as tho I have lot's of insight into suboxone and the opiate game...

again REALLY appreciate the kind words and support.

Last edited by Biggzzz; 03-12-2011 at 09:25 AM.

 
Old 03-12-2011, 10:03 AM   #4
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Re: from Roxi's to suboxone, fighting it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Biggzzz View Post

well its been 30+ hours without subs now my intention was to take 1mg or less at some point today but since my last dose of about 1.5mg was yesterday morning at 8am Im NOW thinking I will push through it as long as I can and try NOT to take another sub at all.

it's very tempting sitting there in front of me but i've been fighting it. I just took a 10mg valium to help me with the symptoms a little.
im not familiar with suboxone, but this whole paragraph reminded me of my scenario getting off oxys the first time. Long story short. I had been on oxy 80 a day for about 2 months (leading up to that I obviously took smaller doses for 2 years). Anyways i was doing an 80 a day, I go up to a week long outdoor dj party with 3 oxys, thinking i can get more up there (10 hr drive away..ughhhh).

i was out of them by the second day, and nobody had painkillers up there. there were about 10 000 ppl at this party in the woods and there were everything but painkillers, at least what i could find. Its not really the thing you go yelling out asking for, its kinda taboo at these partys, theyre all on mdma and weed and uppers, liquid lsd made a comeback, shrooms,etc. (kida like 'Burningman')

but I had left a 20 mg chunk in my pocket, knowing that I would need it for the 10 hr drive home just in case something went awry... Well AWRY became the theme of this trip.!!! I went through my withdrawals in my tent day 3 barely slept....was a zombie day 4 not talking to anyone, but day 5 I woke up at 5 am to relieve myself and realized that I could walk!...I wasnt in much pain, and I actually got a rush from the fact that I am no longer dependent on putting this 'battery' in my back so to speak (thats how it felt to me). and I had no intention on stopping using oxys although I was getting fed up at paying for something that just makes me feel 'normal' no more euphoria folks.....for those of u on oxys...the fun dies out pretty quick!

oh and I didnt know about benzos! argggggh!

on the very last day, I still had this 20 mg chunk in my pocket (had it in my pocket beside me for the three days of hell tossing and turning in my tent at night, but gravol helped me sleep) ...I feel that im over my addiction and im in my glory, yet still in some pain. So the last night of partying day 6, i took half a bite of it (10 mg), and threw the other half into a portapotty, to symbolically/literally flush my addiction. oh that 10 was the greatest 10 mg I ever took haha

so I know how you feel looking at that 1 ml and wanting to 'hold off' and try to stretch out the distance of doses. Because it feels that every hour that goes by, your body needs less and less of the drug. Like your muscles are starting to forget that they crave them,etc. Its all very mental, its a mind game like you said. {paraphrasing}

I wish you well bro, I think you got this game on lock, you know what you need to do, and the withdrawals are bad, but ppl can make them worse by thinking that they are going to be dreadful, etc.

Take the vitamins, try to get out of bed and walk around, and please keep us posted man, it helps a lot of people when were at this stage and we discuss it, because alot of people are going through it and are curious as to whats going to happen!!?? I journalled my whole withdrawal the 'second go' around and people gave me great feedback, and I helped inform some ppl too and made some cool friends. Keep us posted man!

Last edited by second go; 03-12-2011 at 10:32 AM.

 
Old 03-12-2011, 10:18 AM   #5
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Re: from Roxi's to suboxone, fighting it!

I know exactly what you mean SecondGo. Appreciate the encouragement. Have you stayed off the opiates totally since then? that sounds awful! sucks to be going through that at a party your suppose to be having fun at!

I have always been a techo/house/tribal junkie. it's all I really listen to. I live in NYC so I used to go out to all the bars/clubs especially during college years. however, the last 4 years on oxy, I lost my love of house music and totally lost the want/desire to go out. I cant even remember the last time I went out to a bar/club with my friends. I would get massive social anxiety!!

I will deff be on here plenty and keep everyone posted that cares to listen.

Again, I appreciate your support and kind words. thank you!

 
Old 03-12-2011, 03:22 PM   #6
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Re: from Roxi's to suboxone, fighting it!

well its about 40 hours now I felt really ****** earlier but now for some reason I have massive amounts of energy and I feel GREAT I'm running around the house like a lunatic jammin out to house music.... I WISH this would last... don't know where it came from or why but I'll take it! I know its gonna get worse tonight/tomorrow and the next few days but wow do I feel GOOD right now!

Just thought I'd share!

Forgot to add, I just took another 10mg valium ten minutes ago.

Last edited by Biggzzz; 03-12-2011 at 03:25 PM.

 
Old 03-12-2011, 03:47 PM   #7
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Re: from Roxi's to suboxone, fighting it!

wow! I wish valium would do that for me! lol....however, enjoy the burst of energy while you can. I have only took 1.5 pills today of roxi but I took a ritilin 10 because i have 00000000000 energy! I have taken them from time to time in the past. They help motivate me and make me want to get up and do things that need to be done. Also, I don't take as many roxis when I take them (obviously). I just wish I felt normal. I feel like crap. I have chronic fatigue syndrome along with fibromyalgia and tons of osteoarthritis due to wrecks and being fairly athletic when I was younger. I am 42 and feel 60! However, I am going to work on it. I am not giving up.

Don't you give up either. If you can live without the roxis throw them as far away as u can

 
Old 03-12-2011, 03:55 PM   #8
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Re: from Roxi's to suboxone, fighting it!

Yes deff do it fight it dont give up 1 1/2 is great thats a start. ritilin is bad too tho! who am I to talk tho so are valiums but its helping me tremendously right now.

I have NO roxis if I did the would have been in my stomach already. I was literally eating 5 at a time ... between 10-15 a day! yuck! bad bad Anthony! All I have is suboxone but I havent touched it in 40 hours! Im trying my best!

good luck to yoU!

 
Old 03-12-2011, 04:16 PM   #9
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Re: from Roxi's to suboxone, fighting it!

One question, do you have an addictive personality? Because if you don't a few valiums is not going to kill you and is certainly less problematic than going to the methadone clinic to treat your addiction. Trust me. I have dealt with someone who had an addictive personality (my exhusband) and it is worse than anything because they get addicted to everything either all at once or go through phrases. That is when you really need professional help. I know the ritlin won't be a problem for me. I might take 5 a month at the most. I didn't think I would get addicted to the roxis and didn't realize i was until i had taken them for months and i decided i didn't need to get my refill for a couple days cause i didn't feel like going to the drug store! boy was i in for a major reality check. Just keep on the boards they are a great place to voice your feelings and it is anonomous.

 
Old 03-12-2011, 04:21 PM   #10
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Re: from Roxi's to suboxone, fighting it!

I do have an addictive personality with certain things. never any other drugs.... I dont like valiums/xanax. I will only take them for a few days to get through this. I dont have many anyway. I would NEVER EVER EVER take methadone in my life or go to a clinic for it. Methadone is a HORRIBLE EVIL drug 50x worse than oxy.

 
Old 03-12-2011, 04:29 PM   #11
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Re: from Roxi's to suboxone, fighting it!

that is exactly what I heard! I don't think heroin would be as bad lol...jk don't try it. I haven't ever done anything else. I have 3 kids and have enjoyed my life with them. I would never do anything to lose them or their trust. So I read you are from nyc? I went there last summer with my daughter for her high school graduation. She actually had just finished her first semester of college and now is in her 3rd semester. We absolutely had a fabulous time and went to the theater a couple times and shopped the rest. Of course I was taking my pain meds then because I was hurting. I have arthritis also on top of everything. I could barely keep up with her! lol... My little southern girl in a big city for the first time ever. I know that sounds corny but it was exciting it really was. We live in south carolina and the biggest place we go is myrtle beach. I was going to go to florida with her on her spring break but I don't think she really wanted me too just didn't have the heart to tell me so i sorta backed off. Her and her best friend went and she said it was wonderful and warm!

 
Old 03-12-2011, 04:32 PM   #12
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Re: from Roxi's to suboxone, fighting it!

ahh yes I am from Staten Island... I went to myrtle beach a few summers ago with my ex fiancee... we got stung by a monster jelly fish, she was in my arms because she was 5ft1 and im 6ft6 and we were in deep water with all the guys, so as we were walking out, I walked right in to a giant jelly fish and the pain was amazing for both of us excrutiating! yes NYC is fun! lots of good times there! I go to miami a lot with my friends too. I dont enjoy the heat so much tho. lol

 
Old 03-12-2011, 04:45 PM   #13
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Re: from Roxi's to suboxone, fighting it!

I love the heat! well I like my air conditioner but the warmer air is better for my bones! lol.... My daughter was so funny in NYC....She wanted sweat tea which is a signature drink for the south and couldn't understand why they didn't serve it and then she wanted grits for breakfast which they didn't have and dear **** mama they don't have biscuits! It was hilarious. She is a whole 100 pounds but eats like a cow! we were looking into some modeling agencys for her but she wasn't tall enough when we called. Every where we go people stop us on the street and talk about her hair. she has naturally curly red hair and is a beautiful girl. but dang she is short! I didn't really want her to be a model so I didn't pursue it. She is smart and in college and I want her to stay away from cocaine snorting models and agents! I have never been to Miami but am taking the kids to disney world in july. I have taken them 2 other times but they were real little then. I just had knee surgery and it is feeling somewhat better. I hope if I can get some of this legitimate pain down then I can be pill free. man this ritlin is making me want to climb the wall! It is probably why I am ranting on and on. Plus I am trying to not think roxi....no roxi no roxi. lol. Once u are clean u will feel more like doing lots of things. I personally am going to spend it with my kids and yes even my exhusband because he is doing much better and unfortunately I think I still love him. we have been together since 1989. that is probably when u were born! So from a motherly figure.....get clean and run from those pills as fast as u can. I am not sure if i could have handled this when i was younger. at least i am old enough to know better.

 
Old 03-12-2011, 04:50 PM   #14
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Re: from Roxi's to suboxone, fighting it!

haha I was born in 82 lol.... I am still not over my ex fiancee either to be honest and the odd thing is, she just contacted me 4 days ago for the first time in 2 years... she tried many times before and I ignored her... but now since im trying to stop the opiates, I will use her as a positive figure and tell myself if I do want to try it again with her, i'd obviously have to be clean. odd thing is her father is the one who gave me some of the first vics I EVER took! he would give me them and we would have a scotch on the rocks and sit on the porch in the poconos listening to the doors (which I love old/classic rock) and I am only 28. anyway.... I dont mind if you rant at all I enjoy talking. it's helping me get thru this.

 
Old 03-12-2011, 05:00 PM   #15
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Re: from Roxi's to suboxone, fighting it!

lol....you like the doors? that was even before me! ha ha. I have a 13 year old son who likes odd music. he likes 80s classics and then he likes this crazy metal. drives me nuts. he wants to die his hair black and wear semi black clothes. he says not goth but who knows. i am old fashioned i guess. we live in a little southern town with no red light! talk about hickville! anyways go for the fiance. Is she a good person? does she do any drugs and is she faithful? these are only questions your mother would ask u. lol.... those are questions I ask my daughter and oldest son. He is 17. I have 3 kids altogether and they keep me hoppin! I worry most about my girl. she is so beautiful and smart but can be naive when it comes to men. My 17 year old has a girlfriend that he has been seeing for over 2 years. Imagine my shock when they told me (as I was driving down the road) they were sleeping together at 15 and needed condoms. I almost wrecked. lol...looking back i think it is good that i am so open with them because when he got hooked on chewing tobacco (dip) and don't laugh i know he is a little redneck, I helped him get off of that becuase he didn't like yellow teeth! Me i was afraid he would develop lip or throat or gum cancer. My 13 year old thinks it is okay if people smoke pot although I know he doesn't cause I homeschool him and am with him 24/7 and I can smell that stuff easily. Plus he can't just walk anywhere as we live out in the country a mile from any other house. However, I don't really consider pot a bad drug but I don't tell the kids that. Double standard I know but i worry about them having an addictive personality because their daddy does. It is definitely hereditary.

 
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